The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I notice the front of my hairline thinning. What can I do? Male in my 30s. I lasted this long but now my time has come.
My recollection is that there are actually effective treatments if started early? And is there a way to objectively measure thinning? Calipers? Any Gwern-esque research on this?
The best thing I ever did was accept that it was happening, hit the gym, and embrace it.
More options
Context Copy link
Finasteride is the best available treatment. Topical Minoxidil helps promote growth, but isn't great for hairlines (works better in the crown), leaves your hair looking bad and the hair you gain falls off if you suspend it. There's a lot of hype around microneedling (particularly when paired with Minoxidil), but it's even more annoying, and the evidence for it is not as strong.
Finasteride is known to cause impotency in rare cases, and, most annoyingly, you can't donate blood if you've been taking it the previous month.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Not so much wellness but advice seeking:
I received a small sum from my grandmother at her death. Approximately $5,000 in an IRA account. Obviously for tax reasons I'll be completing the paperwork to transfer it into my own IRA. But to just put it in the market until I'm retired feels somehow small and niggardly, it feels spiritually wrong to take money my grandparents saved up over the years and left to me, and all it will amount to is a 1% increase in the value of my brokerage account when I open the app. So, talking to my wife, I want to make some kind of purchase that will act as a keepsake of my grandmother, despite the fact that she obviously has already passed.
Basic parameters:
-- I'm looking for something more or less permanent. Heirloom quality. So for example, a new computer would not be a good choice, as even though it might be a very high quality computer and I would enjoy using it daily for the time I had it, at some point I would throw it away. Obviously anything could be lost, stolen, destroyed in a fire, etc. But I want something I'm likely to have for decades with care and luck.
-- I'd like to spend a substantial amount of the $5,000. Obviously it will spiritually, though not directly, be the $5,000 my grandmother gave me, as that will be in my IRA. I'm comfortable with one degree of remove, though I found that my dad's suggestion to put it in a dividend account or CD and spend the proceeds each year on going out "on her" to be clever, but ultimately too far removed for my taste. I don't need to spend all of it, but I think anything under $500 is too miserly to notice properly as having inherited it. So for example a really good chef's knife would probably be too small to qualify. At the same time, nothing much over $5,000 qualifies even though I could afford it, as that seems to violate the concept of inheriting it, so not a used Jeep Wrangler unless it's a real heap of a jeep.
-- I'd like it to be something my grandmother would, if not like, at least not dislike or find strange. She was a pretty average Catholic grandmother, loved polka music and murder mystery novels and still had a picture of JFK and Jackie on the wall. I'm not necessarily looking to buy something that would be to her exact taste, but I would like to buy something that she wouldn't be weirded out that I bought if she knew. So, for example, I wouldn't buy a new Springfield Garrison 1911, even though it meets all the above criteria, as my grandmother would find that distasteful.
So far, the frontrunner is replacing my vintage knockoff (which I love) with an authentic Eames Lounge Chair. It's special, expensive to the point I'd never buy it myself, permanent, and very useful and comfortable. I read in the one I got off craigslist every day, it's really just a top of the line product, and I'd love to have a real one.
My wife suggested a watch like a newer Omega Seamaster, but that feels a little odd, and anyway she still owes me a new Armida from the bet we made on Joe Biden dropping out, and even though that's more like $400 it's too close to get two in the same space of time. I'd consider jewelry for her, I rarely wear any beyond a watch, but she has good stuff, I need to preserve the remaining roster spots for future holiday gifts, and honestly when it comes to inheriting jewelry my mother isn't far from leaving her an ABSURD amount.
Beyond that, idk, some original art maybe? I don't have too many good ideas, and I hate to make a big purchase like that without exploring additional options. So I'm turning to the crowd for suggestions.
TLDR: I'm seeking suggestions for an heirloom quality item between $500 and $5,000 that my grandmother would have approved of.
Not sure if it's your thing, but you could purchase a high quality Grandmother Clock within that price range. My family has some of these as heirlooms and they're pretty cool.
More options
Context Copy link
Why don't you just ask her executor for a keepsake. I have my grandfather's planes, my uncle's t-square and plumbobs, a hand-knitted doll from my aunt, various knickknacks of my mother's, all better memorials than buying something at walmart. Especially with only half a mil in the brokerage account.
More options
Context Copy link
I gain a perverse pleasure from inputting the queries of random people online into ChatGPT.
I happened to throw in everything you said up till the specific criteria you envisoned, and to my surprise, it specifically recommended watches and furniture. To be clear, that's before you suggested them as options from yourself and your wife. Next token prediction is powerful. We're more transparent than we presume.
Then I read the rest of your comment, and ChatGPT suggested fine art as option 4, though that's the third and last thing you suggested. Huh.
Claude also suggests furniture and art, but also a nice piano or a grandfather clock.
If I ask it to be more creative, it suggests a custom stained glass window, a commissioned illuminated family history manuscript, a heritage garden installation, a commissioned tapestry or quilt.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
In some parks, I have seen benches dedicated to dead people. Why not put one in your own backyard?
As a starting point, Uline offers various park benches and picnic tables for well under 1 k$. I don't know whether that counts as "heirloom quality".
More options
Context Copy link
Since she was Catholic, I think it should be something with religious symbolism. A nice Christian painting seems like a good idea to me. Jewelry is also a decent idea. Have you considered commissioning a painting? Perhaps even a painting of your grandmother, if that doesn't strike you as an offense to her.
I think she'd approve of sticking it in an IRA, for what it's worth, especially if you struggle to think of something for this idea. If it were me, I might choose something with impermanence specifically to symbolize the transience of life. Some beautiful flowers, or perhaps a fine cigar or bottle of whiskey, or a dove to let loose.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
What's the latest thinking on addressing high cholesterol? My mom has high cholesterol (70 years old, active, not overweight, otherwise in excellent health). She and her doctor are working off what I understand to be outdated thinking on the subject. For example she is avoiding healthy foods like eggs with high cholesterol content, but my understanding is the latest studies suggest no clear link between eggs and high cholesterol. It seems like the latest consensus is to avoid red meats, sugar, and processed foods. Her doctor has also suggested statins, but my understanding is that there isn't much if any evidence to support their effectiveness. What do the doctors of the motte suggest for an otherwise healthy person with high cholesterol?
The Number Needed To Treat for statins is about 138. I would suspect that given standard monetary values of QALY and DALY in the West, it would be a net positive given how damn cheap drugs are.
As for eggs, I have more or less given up on attempting to understand nutritional science, there's hardly a more cursed and confounded field on the planet. But from what I'm aware of, eggs have swung from being unfairly maligned to being good for you.
Finances willing, I'd put very many people on GLP-1 agonists, so if granny could do with losing weight and not just cholesterol, that's my recommendation.
Is there a better formula besides just looking at LDL? Certainly HDL, Trigylcerides, and blood pressure would be relevant. Are there any downsides to statins?
I tried one of those cardiac risk score things, and it said my 10 year risk of a cardiac event was about 1.5%, below the 5% threshold in which statins would be advised. That didn't feel super comforting. I know people like Peter Attila recommend statins to most of their patients. But he also recommends aggressive prostate screening which has not been shown to increase life span, so he may have a harmful "do something" bias.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
People often say that the best way to learn singing is to get a good coach, so that you don't learn bad habits common to autodidacts. But since I want to save money and get a good head-start, what resources or even outright advice would you give to someone teaching themselves breathwork and basic singing technique? I'd like to pick it up as a hobby and think I have a good voice to work with. I know to breath with my diaphram and to relax myself when singing. But my range isn't where I want it to be. Plus I want to produce a strong, consistent, reliable sound.
More options
Context Copy link
Well I'm fucked.
I developed schizophrenia with a sudden onset and lost my partner, work, and health. Wife was first to leave me and has cut all contact. Lost my job and most of my ability to work. Most of my friends have drifted away.
Could be worse. I did some crazy shit due to my delusions but managed to avoid even worse consequences. I now have meds that have fixed the so called positive symptoms like delusions and hallucinations. I have a lot of money saved up. I think my cognitive abilities are slowly coming back. But I have intense negative symptoms: a lack of emotions, motivation, and joy. These are probably due to both the illness and my high fall from grace. My life now is almost entirely suffering.
One friend has been coming over to my place with her dog once a week to bake. I'm infinitely grateful for this and it's one of the only things I look forward to. I told most friends about my situation but she's the only one who has made any effort to try and support me.
I feel almost entirely lost and ruined, but do have some stubborn hope and desire to try and rebuild my life. I've been forcing myself to try new hobbies but they have all felt empty so far. Have zero motivation to exercise (and am gaining weight due to the meds). Don't have enough concentration to read books or watch movies. Hard times.
My condolences, schizophrenia is terrifying, and even if well managed with medication. I'm glad that the medication is working, even if with unpleasant side effects (there are some antipsychotics that have a less pronounced effect, aripiprazole being one that comes to mind).
Antipsychotics suck, the only reason we prescribe them is psychosis sucks harder.
I can only hope that your symptoms resolve, and your wife changes her mind or you find someone who understands and accepts you better.
More options
Context Copy link
If you have the insight to post this here you are not fucked.
A few things to keep in mind.
Your ability to tell what is real and true is going to be compromised at times. Involve your family and your doctor in your care. Get a therapist. Outsource some things to them. Don't make certain types of decisions (like stopping medication) without involving them. Others may be able to tell you when you are declining better than you can self-assess because losing that is part of the illness. Establish safe guards and personality structure that allows you to get help while you are doing well so you can be protected when you aren't.
Negative symptoms are harder to treat, but they can be treated. Let those caring for you know about the negative symptoms. Don't bottle it up.
Many illnesses (not just mental illness) involve stepwise decline. Further episodes, longer episodes can compound. So do whatever you can to decrease the frequency of episodes and their duration.
You have met people in your life with serious mental illness and not known about it. Many people do well, and then you never know unless you catch them in an episode. There is hope.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Update on my pull-up bar exercises.
I have literally missed 1 single day since I started in May. I missed one day in the first month, and never again for the past six months. I’m super proud of this. On vacations I do a bunch of pushups in lieu of the pullups.
I am currently doing 10 pull-ups every day before going to bed, with pushups and situps added in. I know it’s not recommended to do training every single day, so I want to emphasize that the daily habit is a much higher priority for me than optimizing strength or muscle recovery.
Starting out, the plan was to do some nominal number of reps (like, maybe 3) on off days to avoid injuring myself, then three times a week do enough sets to induce failure. Well this plan caused a tendon in my left elbow to kind of freak out on me.
So now I do the same number of reps every night, increasing the reps on the first of each month. I’ve added 1 pull-up per month to my nightly total since August, and I’m at 10 right now. Will attempt 11 nightly starting December 1st.
The only drawback is that my sleep schedule is harder to manage, because the exercising is causing me to procrastinate getting ready for bed.
Good to hear the progress. I am a huge fan of pullups, and having a doorway pullup bar really lets you squeeze them in anytime. I only read through your last couple posts so I'm not sure how much of a fitness background you have, but it sounds like you're getting back into shape.
I will say from personal experience, after about fifteen years of consistently working out, that nothing will mess you up more than an injury. It seems like you've got a good habit going on - make sure that you don't pull, strain, or twist something that can cause you to lose the ability to exercise. That's almost an inevitability if you push yourself too hard, and sometimes it isn't worth that last rep - especially if you're exercising for general fitness, not competition.
If you're looking for other compact and versatile equipment for the home, I would highly recommend an ab roller, kettlebells, and/or resistance bands. For $50 worth of equipment you can greatly increase the number of muscle groups you target.
Good luck
Hey thanks! How much time daily do you spend working out? What I'm doing right now is sustainable schedule-wise, but if I get any more serious then I would need to rethink my evening routine.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Pullups suck. I don't mean they're bad, I mean I hate them because they're hard. I used to be able to do 10-15 and now I'm lucky to do 3. But that's improving. Wide-grip pull-ups suck worse. Neutral grip are the easiest for me. You're doing well Any other exercises or muscle groups your working on?
Thank you. 15 is crazy—you must have been fit. I'm just doing the pullups, situps, and pushups. And I want to start running again. Once I'm doing all that I don't think I'll mess with any more.
I don't want to do too much, because every day I'm surprised I'm still doing it. I'm clinging to the progress I've made so far and am afraid of losing it.
Do you have time to exercise? With your insane commute how do you do it?
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Does anyone have any insights into what's going on with the TRT (testosterone replacement therapy) bros? Specifically, I am thinking of Jeff Bezos and Robert F. Kennedy, but there are other older men who fit the profile.
Normal male testosterone is in the range of 300-1200 ng/dL, although if you work for NPR it might be quite a bit lower.
As men age, testosterone tends to go down, but not really all that dramatically. For a long time there have been "anti-aging" clinics that advertise to older men and apparently just give them steroids? I specifically remember one being advertised in airplane magazines that featured a muscular shirtless old guy.
In theory, these clinics should be treating people with testosterone below 300 and bumping them into the normal range. But guys like Bezos and RFK seem like they are just straight up on the 'roids.
What's going on here?
While a lot of people are on roids, people also are confused as to just how good lifting heavy weights is for you as an old dude.
Most old guys are either fat, which is bad, or skinny, which emphasizes wrinkles and posture other negative appearance aspects of aging. Muscles fill out your skin, reducing the appearance of aging, improve or hide changes in posture, prevent you from looking frail, etc.
That said, I plan to explore TRT once I've had all the kids I plan on having.
More options
Context Copy link
Well, for one, a lot of TRT clinics are, as you seem to have noticed, whitewashed ways to get roids, and you can absolutely game the measurements to apply for it.
However, you might be underestimating the effects of actual-factual-true-to-form TRT: with normal hormones, they fluctuate throughout the day, are affected by sleep patterns, diet, etc. A TRT dose that keeps you at a stable 1000 ng/dL, no matter what, is very different from someone who measured at 1000 ng/dL naturally (and even them are generally on the upper range of test levels), you can expect significant muscle growth on TRT, on doses far below of what would be considered a "proper cycle".
If I knew a crazy dude who wanted to know more about this, where would he go to learn more about it? Or, even better, would you replicate the approach here?
If you (general you) want a good source of info on TRT/Steroids, benefits, risk profiles, etc. Unironically the best source I know is the youtube channel More Plates More Dates (he has a site in which he posts articles, if you don't like video/audio content).
If what you want to know is which clinics provide these services, not being in the US/Canada, I have no idea (I don't know in my country either, tbh). Back in the day Bodybuilding.com forums were the place to go, I assume there's subreddits specifically dedicated to this, as well.
If you want to know how to get your t lower before a test, some stuff that can help: Get fatter, sleep like shit, jack off a lot... though I'd probably google for more systematic approaches.
If you're asking if you should be hopping on TRT... well, it depends: age? time lifting? children? family history with heart disease? what do you hope to achieve with it?
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I started mathacademy (50 dollars a month is literally half my pocket money, but worth it) today and spent 4 hours there. My median day programming is about 3-4 hours now up from previous weeks but still a total noob. I want to finish this short book "Javascript the good parts". After that my co-founder wants me to do typescript. I did hit the gym thrice so I am doing more, but does not feel enough.
Working out, writing front-end code, meditating, and doing math—I hope these daily activities help me a lot. I used to write long-winded paragraphs here and never do anything, so at least this is a start. I still struggle with a lot of issues, and my parents are rightfully worried that I will be left behind in Rajasthan forever. I will post more updates. Next week, I will aim for 7 hours of Javascript and 2 hours of math.
My interest in Twitter and the internet is now close to zero. I don't wanna know what xyz tech guy or nrx anon is upto, even girls since I nuked Instagram, there is endless info out there that is just pointless, I dont want to be 30 and still in a limbo, I am somewhat happy that I did something. 9 hours of work every day is a reasonable target given I can hit 8 now, I do feel tired and stupid after it.
edit - 8, so a few months before turning 25, I hit the daily work target of the average guy. I dunno if I should be happy about it or sad, definitely better than what I did last week, month or decade.
Eight real hours of actual work is substantially above average.
In the 8.5 hours between my clock-in and clock-out times, I have 7.33 hours designated as "work". The remainder is breaks. Of those 7.33 hours, I'd be lucky to get six hours of actual work amid all of the waiting, standing by, being available, walking places, and other not-directly-productive tasks.
My actual output was close to 4 though, I wish to hit 12 on the time I spend working and what I get out.
I'm very behind on life, as long as I keep pushing more and balance that with meditation, a good rohtine, working out, I should be able to work more. Again working on the right thing the fight way matters too so I'll post more details.
I'll keep posting here, 9 hours is a good aim for 7 days.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link