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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   2581 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 9, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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Anyone play Rocket League? I'm low Plat / temporarily embarrassed Gold. Msg me to team up.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=LQhX8PbNUWI

We Care A Lot by Faith No More, before Chuck Mosley was replaced by Mike Patton as lead singer. I didn't realize until now there was a pre-Patton era.

I was vaguely familiar with the song, mostly encountering it in the 1990s, and I only watched the video just now. At first, I thought it was a parody of crusty PCU-type bands, but then I realized Jon Favreau likely based some of his parodic character on this type of genuine, authentic expression.

But is it genuine? The song is satire, again venturing into PCU (the movie with Jeremy Piven and Jon Favreau, Politically Correct University) territory. We care a lot about killer bees and saving the whales. You can hear the sneering disrespect in Mosley's voice.

We're closing the 2014 decade this year, 2014 being the crux of woke takeover. This video seems relevant, and I'm still trying to figure out if the visual elements are genuine or parodic. White dudes in dreads playing Flying V guitars...

With all the kerfuffle about Imane Khelif, I think we've lost sight of the real issue - how can one profit from this?

The other week I put €15.50 on Lin Yu-Ting to medal, and another €15.50 on Yu-Ting to win gold. I was also looking to place a bet on Khelif, but at the time all of the bookies I looked at didn't seem to be offering odds on them. I've now come back with a tidy profit of €13.50.

Part of me feels proud, given that this is the first formal bet I've ever placed in my life. Part of me feels a little dirty - "in a boxing championship, I bet that the (probably) male fighter will defeat all the female fighters" feels like the kind of bet you shouldn't even be allowed to make.

You should be allowed to make it, and the bookies should update their odds appropriately in response. Either they create accurate odds (which in turn creates accurate information for people to see), or they don't and you arbitrage them.

I've been really enjoying Total War: Three Kingdoms, and naturally, it got me interested in the historical period. I'm even thinking about trying one of Koei's games. Are they worth playing?

Also, is the actual novel (Romance of the Three Kingdoms) worth reading? I'm a bit concerned it might feel too simplistic or one-sided by today's standards. I'm more interested in the politics, economics, culture, and social context than the actual events themselves.

Scott Alexander wrote a pretty good review of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, for what it's worth.

The Dynasty Warriors games are a perfectly fine entry point, easy to play and typically with big encyclopedias available so you can always dive into write-ups instead of following along the campaign modes. Don't get 9, just go straight for 8.

The actual RoTK games aren't actually ideal for getting to grips with the story, though the strategic aspects would naturally appeal if you're interested in politics, economics, culture, etc.

But in both cases, you are playing an adaptation of a fictional novel. While RoTK doesn't invent wholesale, it is very much a novel and not something good for those parts you are interested in. I can recommend it as a novel (I read the less accessible Brewitt Taylor translation) but it should be approached as fiction

Not a substantial comment but I did see a Romance of the Three Kingdoms meme the other day:

/images/1723354365737256.webp

That's simply brilliant!

This video goes through some of the available Three Kingdoms TV and film adaptations, which are probably the best entry point. As far as Koei goes, I've tried some of the Hyrule Warriors spin-off games, and there's a certain kind of mindless fun to be had there in limited doses. I'd probably stick to adaptations and not the novel itself if you want to get a sense for the cultural role of the Three Kingdoms setting in modern China and Japan, and then read an actual history book if you feel like you need more details about army composition or whatever.

Koei publishes both action games ("musou" is the name of their "slaughter hundreds of enemies at once" franchise, of which Hyrule Warriors is a spinoff), and historical simulation games of which the long-running series Romance of the Three Kingdoms is an example.

I used to play some of the older Romance of the Three Kingdoms games back in the day. They were kind of odd, because they assumed you were already familiar with the plot of the book and I... really wasn't. So I'd be playing it like it was this hardcore military strategy wargame, and suddenly a character would betray me for no reason because he was "supposed" to go to one of the other dynasties. It's a funny mix of like a strategy wargame and dating game/visual novel. I guess it was a good way to learn the plot and setting of the book, though.

My personal name for the Musou games is the stress relieving game. Tough day? Jump on slaughter 400 yellow turban rebels and 6 heros; feel much better about things.

I've read an abridged translation of Romance of the Three Kingdoms, as well as a fair chunk of the Moss Roberts non-abridged translation. If you have any interest in the period at all I would give it a shot. The sheer number of adaptions it has received is testament enough to its enduring appeal. It's a historical epic so the main thing you should be concerned about is the litany of names and places.

I think of this particular passage quite often

Xuande and his companion Sun Qian seek shelter in a hunter’s home. The hunter is called Liu An, and he immediately offers to go and hunt for fresh meat for them to eat. To his distress, he cannot find any game. Desperate to keep his word, he kills his wife and serves up flesh from her body. When Xuande asks what meat they are eating, Liu An replies, ‘Wolf.’ It is only as they depart the next day that the two companions see the dead body of a young woman in the kitchen. The flesh from her arms has been cut away. This extraordinary action draws tears from Xuande when he realizes to what lengths Liu An has gone to keep his promise.

I hate to ask, but what is it with the Chinese and cannibalism? According to pixiv rankings it's tied and sometimes mixed with legs/feet for their national fetish.

Decisive Tang strategic victory.

Have you read Cannibalism with Chinese Characteristics ?

Wow, that's brutal.

Breakdancing (or "breaking" as they call it) is new to the Olympics this year. The Australian contestant is Rachell Gunn, AKA Raygun, a communications professor who specializes in "the cultural politics of breaking". Lets see how she does.

How the hell did this happen?

Japan winning a gold medal in breakdancing is somehow more hilarious than breakdancing in olympics.

For clarification:

  • Canada won the men's competition.
  • Japan won the women's competition.

What's so hilarious about that? The English invented football and there's like a dozen countries better than them at it. Why should African Americans be the best breakdancers?

A Japanese guy went to a stone skipping competition in the UK and won. Japanese people are really good at anything fun and quirky (quirky in a good way). They've got moxie!

There's also Kobiyashi, the competitive eater. It wasn't just natural talent and determination, he studied competitive eating and found out that he could eat more hot dog buns if they were dipped in water.

And in the 1920 Olympics (or some year, I forget) Japan won a bunch of swimming medals because they built a glass-bottomed pool and set up film cameras along the sides to analyze different swimming techniques. And they apparently made some discoveries which were adopted by everyone four years later.

Etcetera etcetera. I'm surprised you're surprised!

Kobiyashi is the Royce Gracie of hot dog eating.

Although he was later be eclipsed by greater champions, he totally revolutionized the sport. And for that reason, IMO, he is the GOAT.

In 2000, the record was 25 hot dogs. In 2001, Kobiyashi ate 50.

His reward for revolutionizing the sport was inadequate. He should get a two cent royalty every time someone dips a hot dog bun in water.

Edit: Have you seen this?

https://youtube.com/results?search_query=jake+and+amir+kobiyashi

Didn't they change the breaststroke rules because the Japanese found out a more efficient way to do it that wasn't spectator-friendly? Or was that something my swim coach made up/I made up my swim coach making up?

That's basically why the butterfly stroke exists. A handful of swimmers (none Japanese, as far as I can recall) in the 1930s independently figured out the dolphin kick as an improvement to the breaststroke, then someone combined it with the above-water recovery. This all technically fit within the official definitions of a breaststroke at the time and completely broke the meta of the sport. Within a couple years, the classic breastroke was completely obsolete and officials had to make butterfly its own separate event in order to save it.

Oh right, that was it! In '04 Kosuke Kitajima started adding butterfly kicks back into the breaststroke pull out, causing some controversy and rule changes.

I suppose this is as good a place to ask as any: Why do non-freestyle swimming races exist (also, race-walking)?

Is there a reason why people would want to use a slower swimming style in everyday life, or what?

Is there a reason why people would want to use a slower swimming style in everyday life, or what?

I prefer backstroke because I tend to panic when my nose goes underwater.

(As an aside, while I can swim the Australian crawl - which is the actual name of the stroke universally used in freestyle swimming competitions - I can't swim breaststroke with the frog-kick; the last time I tried, one of my knees popped out of joint and I had to be rescued.)

Is there a reason why people would want to use a slower swimming style in everyday life, or what?

The classic breast and side strokes are slow but efficient so you do see them used a fair bit in combined events like triathalons and by channel swimmers and the like. Butterfly and freestyle are faster but also have significant downsides when used outside a pool or closed course

It's mostly just the force of inertia now. There is literally no natural context in which one would choose to use the butterfly stroke as a means of locomotion. Breastroke, backstroke, and (the no longer used in competition) sidestroke actually have purposes though.

Breaststroke has the advantage of keeping your head mostly out of the water so you can be aware of your surroundings (especially important in open-water swimming). You also don't don't need goggles and aren't getting water in your ears.

Sidestroke is very slow, but very efficient for long-distance swimming. You're only actively working one side of your body at a time, so you can switch off and keep going for significantly longer than you would otherwise. It's probably a good idea for everyone to know the sidestroke because it can mean the difference between life and death if you ever find yourself stranded far from shore for any reason.

Backstroke allows you to swim backwards. Which I admit isn't super important. But I find that the ability to quickly change directions and move about freely while swimming makes me feel good and in control while in the water.

Butterfly exists because it's way faster than breaststroke, and originally technically fit within the rules for breastroke in competitions. It exists to exploit an olympic loophole from 80 years ago and serves no other purpose.

Good writeup. How do you learn new swimming techniques? I basically only know how to do a breaststroke while keeping my head above water the whole time, and doggy paddle.

Thanks. I learned while on the swim team in high school. I imagine most pools (and especially gyms with pools) offer adult swim lessons that can help you develop proper technique. If not, your local gym should be able to put you in touch with a personal trainer with swimming experience who can work with you.

My suspicion is that this was a literal troll. Supposedly a lot of people in the breakdancing community (and general dancing community) were unhappy about its inclusion in the olympics as they feel it goes against the counter culture roots of the performance and because it's more of an artistic endeavor than an athletic one.

I watched her performance live and it seemed like she did have technical skills but preferred to use a more artistic interpretive dance style. Her outfit was also a vibe in a way that she had to know about.

Could have been a protest.

This looked like Special Olympics.

I took a little look at this earlier:

Also here is a list of her academic output, as a PhD in breakdancing

Note that the finals (can't link to videos because the Olympics' insane copyright regime is working) with the better competitors were actually pretty good, I enjoyed watching them on a partly unironic level and the competition was quite good and compelling, and I look forward to watching the men's event tomorrow.

Reminds me of the "Art's not a competition" bit at the beginning of this

Hollywood Handbook:

https://youtube.com/watch?v=5WUEeKqUW6k

Gunn, R. & Marie, L., Jun 2023, In: Global Hip Hop Studies. 4, 1, p. 39-56 18 p.

We need a complete shutdown of academia until we can figure out what the hell is going on.

The Australian breaking scene and the Olympic Games: the possibilities and politics of sportification (Rachel Gunn 2023). Possible that her performance (and attire?) was some kind of protest. Shitpost dancing, if you will.

Meanwhile, This guy has become literally the greatest individual Olympian of all time.

This is Michael Jordan shooting Hitler in the face while the Wall falls levels of unreal.

But, yes.....Raygun.

Dude is just bigger than everyone.

he did not compete at all between his previous march to gold at the 2021 Tokyo Olympics and this one.

"He has been here for many years, so it is very important to conserve his body," his coach Raul Trujillo told The Guardian.

The redditors were right to fear overtraining.

Not like he's going to meaningfully change his technique much at that age, especially when maximumweight Greco Roman isn't exactly the most sophisticated sport in the world (As somebody of similar size who does wrestle/grapple).

That clip got copyright struck, it seems.

Let me guess, it was really bad?

Very hard to find proper clips that aren't just thumbnail bait but this one is still up https://v.redd.it/hjcwvjomoqhd1

Thanks, I appreciate you finding that for me.

I just saw a snippet of this on reddit. It's unbelievable that there wasn't anyone in Australia better. Though one of the reddit comments makes a good point that most people who are good wouldn't pass the Olympics drug test.

EDIT: here's a news story with more context and videos (though all of the videos are also on twitter they're not down right now)

Australians are so fucking cringe man. For people with such a funny accent they are remarkably humorless.

Sending a joke athlete to a joke sport is pretty funny.

And not seeing the joke is particularly humorless.

This comic never ceases to be relevant.

That links to a post with a very unfunny photo, and a deleted comment.

Why does this happen every time someone posts an old.reddit link?

Anyway it was meant to bring you to this image: https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/738/025/db0.jpg

I am in Chiang Mai, finally got concerta and it was life-changing. Went to a local digital nomad meetup, I cannot drink or smoke lol so just hung out and met a few people. It was ok, I met some fun people but others were sorta not as interested in talking to me as some others were. Very interesting people though, not super successful but interesting. One ran a video editing and animation agency out of his phone and was telling me about the various women he had dated from various nations he had lived in. I also met this really really pretty Spanish girl who looked very French, unfortunately, I could not do much with that but it was quite fun lol. I do wanna meet her again, my PUA skills need some work lol.

How was your week and any suggestions? I am no longer sad or depressed. I will write up more about the effects of concerta in the Wednesday thread.

As is typical for any male who spent a large part of their youth trying to maximise their success with girls, I'm no stranger to bad romantic advice. That said, I don't think I've ever come across a suggestion quite as bizarre as that given in this tweet:

Since #TamponTim is trending I'll point out that in high school, any boy who casually was like "Oh you got ur period? I stashed a pad from the bathroom in my backpack in case one of my friends needed it" -- that boy would be king stud. That boy would be drowning in prom invites.

Reponses ranged from the incredulous, to the half-heartedly supportive, to the hilarious, to those advising young men that really, this isn't a good idea.

Still, I had a good laugh, and it made me curious as to what are the worst romantic ideas that other people here have received or seen. Anyone got anything more extreme than this one?

This tweet was also discussed in the CW thread.

My bad, I missed that!

This is sabotage. I literally can't wrap my head.

There was a weird local fad Senior Year of High School (thankfully just before social media took off, so it stayed contained) where dudes would get down on one knee to ask their dates to prom. Just seemed way too over the top and kind of histrionic.

Luckily I was really cool and took my friend's sister (who was in college) to prom and it totally wasn't a pity date.

She got us liquor. 10/10 would be a dork again.

These "promposals" are still happening, especially in the age of social media. They're as elaborate and cringe-worthy as you'd expect.

In the heyday of the feminist wars, there's been a ton of advice about continuous consent. Nothing makes romantic partners clamp up faster than a "Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

I still have seared into my memory the annoyed "ugh, c'mon, just do it" from every single virginity experience after I did my last confirmation. It was just a dumb movie trope that I couldn't let go of.

Imploring men to be emotionally vulnerable is also extremely counter-productive. There's a tiny minority who take stoicism too far in their long-term relationships, but it's largely a solved problem from millennials onward. There are far too many whiners, as a rule, and the number of relationships you can instantly torpedo with emotional texting is significant.

Nothing makes romantic partners clamp up faster than a "Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

How about a "is that... Gulps... your pussy..."?

"Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

The best response to this was George Will.

(Paraphrasing) "These are instructions for sex written by people who have never had sex and want to keep it that way."

If I change the meta so no one ever gets laid, I look normal by comparison!

All this advice written by well meaning men and women for respectful fully informed consent requiring communication somehow less sexy than signing a performance contract, and yet all the smut women read is full on bestiality rape cuck stuff. Its fucking hilarious how the hest selling gacha game for women features universally good looking prettyboys with chiseled abs that repeatedly state their intent to violate any concept of consent if the MC keeps up with her antics. Guys will hornypost on main but the subreddit for that game makes gooners seem normal.

What game is that?

Its a gacha game called Love And Deepspace (abbreviated as LADS). Shot to 2nd place in gacha monthly earnings (est 40m USD) last month, which is enormous for a girl-focused husbando collector.

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money, when men are clearly the ones wasting thousands on glorified jpeg waifus in fairly mid games, and LADS hardly has a significantly better gameplay loop, and it turns out girl games just needed something that shamelessly catered to their preferences. Which, as far as I can tell, is 'six packed prettyboys with oversized bulges and permanent pouts'.

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money

The US Bureau of Labor Statistics can answer that question with its Consumer Expenditure Survey and Time Use Survey. For example:

  • Dollars spent per year in the 2021–2022 period on "toys, hobbies, and playground equipment": 69 for single men, 94 for single women (for dollars spent on "pets", it's 282 vs. 647)

  • Hours spent per day in 2023 on "playing games": 0.50 for men, 0.24 for women

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money

There's an interesting column called 'money diaries' where PMC women post their spending. My wife has sent me a few of them and you're more likely to see avocado toast and conspicuous consumption than gacha games.

From the biggest link on that page:

Therapy: $600 (I pay out of pocket $200 a session, which is steep, but I’ve been working with this therapist for years and I love her)

Do you worry about money now?

Yes, because I have an anxiety disorder and am currently not working but I know that I am incredibly lucky and much more financially stable than many of my peers. I am on my second week of two months of unpaid leave from my job. I have been experiencing burnout and depression for the past six-plus months and so was saving as much as I could to take this step. I am also receiving a stipend from the state of Colorado for this leave, which is awesome and unexpected, and has alleviated my immediate spending concerns a bit. But I’m unsure what will happen after my two months’ leave is up. While I’m excited for the possibility of a new job/career/life course, I’m also bracing myself for financial instability and to cut down on my spending as much as possible.

Jesus Christ, the state of Colorado is subsidising this lady to pay $600 a month to a therapist to not help her fix her problems after years so she can not work?

I swear, neurotic people are utility monsters. And I say this as a neurotic person myself.

Though my favorite part is this:

I realized in college just how privileged I am. I hope to take this privilege and do good with it as long as I live.

I hate to say this, but I'm not sure she's off to a good start.

I think “can I kiss you” can be hot, but I’m probably a loser.

As a culmination of a date where the line had plenty of opportunity to be crossed but either party pulled back to continue dialing up the vibe, sure. I don't think the modern dating meta has any players sufficiently skilled in social cue generation and exploitation to perform such a game. There weren't that many in the past either, but media actually showed such concepts existing. Watching Sex Education made me fear for the dating prospects of my kids.

Worlds of difference between:

You're on a late night walk, after a few drinks, fingers touching. The conversation is fantastic, the heat of the day has been replaced by cool breezes, and you step between puddles of light on the silent street. Your fingers grip theirs more tightly, and the steps stop - they turn, look, and smile questioningly. "Can I kiss you?"

and a train of constant checking about every single individual sex act, no matter how innocuous.

I know a group of 3 people who met at my wedding and literally "continuously consented" their way into falling asleep from exhaustion before fully consummating their threesome. I've heard dozens of horror stories from women and men wondering what they did to fuck it up. Exasperating.

TL;DR: You're not wrong at all, but it can absolutely be taken too far.

wondering what they did to fuck it up

They took sex advice from the Junior Anti-Sex League, what did they think was going to happen?

Their only mistake was not recognizing the source of the advice. Which is unfortunate, but also the way it goes.

That's not quite what he was describing though, and he's not exaggerating. There's some vintage footage of a debate panel featuring Christopher Hitchens and Naomi Wolf (I think), where she was literally arguing for that.

It's hard to believe it isn't satire. It looks like an opening to a Shane Gillis bit.

I am just trying to imagine any man ever doing it... literally they would be so utterly ridiculed - by women, and only then by other men. It's as if some progressive alien tried to give out romantic advice to humans.

I can see it working under extremely specific circumstances, but so rare that to carry around feminine hygiene products at all times on the offchance of it creating an opportunity to hit up a lady is utterly irrational.

Seriously, you could make a better opening by pissing yourself in front of her. No girl wants to publicly acknowledge her period, at least peeing your pants allows you to use self-deprecating humor.

The best case scenario otherwise is that you become 'that' friend who is kept around because he's exploitable and desperate and is so far from a possible romantic interest he may as well be a eunuch.

at least peeing your pants allows you to use self-deprecating humor.

Or you match straight out of the gate on a pissing kink.

That's like a rookie hitting a grand slam their first at bat.

Trot around the bases and enjoy yourself, kid.

Back in June, I flew to North America to see my partner (who lives on the other side of the world), and when I was there I had the opportunity to try out some Nintendo games on his Switch. My opinion was fairly lukewarm, and I came away with the impression that the high esteem in which many of their games are held seems to be driven primarily by legacy clout. Breath of the Wild was hands-down the Nintendo game that I enjoyed the most (I put a good few hours into exploring the world and experiencing the main story), and it's a game that has been hailed as a shining example of open-world done right and has been placed on many peoples' lists of best video games of all time. I thought it was good, but don't believe it's nearly good enough so as to warrant inclusion as one of my favourite video games.

The game is fun, and the fact that you can climb and scale basically everything in game and explore the world in a variety of different ways imparts a feeling of freedom that's quite addicting, an aspect in which the game excels - but in practice that all amounts to getting from A to B in a subtly different way. The game doesn't really justify its (extremely large) open world, and in order to progress the main story you're mostly going from one very clearly spelled-out quest marker to another. Now, these quest markers are necessary because of how sprawling the world is - the player would easily get lost without some form of guidance - but the game explicitly tells you where you are supposed to go, and doesn't really give you incentive to explore out of bounds. If you are making an open world game you need to capitalise on the open world part as a core aspect of the game.

Technically, you don't need to progress through the game using the path set out for you, and you can take it as fast or as slow as you want, you can even skip straight to Ganon after the tutorial. One of the most exhilarating parts in my playthrough was sneaking past a bevy of guardians on the way to Hyrule Castle, a place where I was certainly too underpowered and under-skilled to be at that point. From a game design standpoint, this was certainly meant to dissuade beginner players from trying to go straight for Hyrule Castle immediately and trying to skip past the main game's content, and it felt like I was exploring outside of the manicured, well-trodden path the game had laid for me. This felt great, and I did make it past all of the guardians, but eventually turned back since I was essentially forfeiting main game content by trying to cut straight to Hyrule Castle without much reason to try and do so.

Trying to explore for additional, optional content isn't particularly enticing either, since the world is kind of a content desert with large areas of dead air in between points of interest, and there are only so many shrines and Bokoblin outposts you can explore before the cost/benefit of exploration starts looking very unfavourable. As a result, I never really felt the urge to explore outside of the bounds of the game, and was pretty much always shoehorned into doing everything the game set out for me. It's effectively an open world game that doesn't actually really make use of its (all too large) open world.

To be fair to BoTW, this criticism can also be levelled against most open-world games - the idea of an open world is generally much more enticing than how it actually plays in practice. So far, the only game I've seen do it right is A Short Hike, which succeeds primarily because of the fact that it has a fairly small, condensed "open world" packed full of content relative to its size and an extremely simple objective which you can easily complete and that doesn't require a huge amount of trekking through empty terrain. Once you start trying to expand the game's scope, when you're trying to make a 10-15 hour game with a coherent throughline set in a large, sprawling open world, making your way through the world starts to feel very tiring, and content deserts are all but guaranteed unless you want development time to inflate hugely.

It should be noted that I am someone who does value plot fairly heavily in games, something that's generally not a focus of Nintendo's. BoTW appealed to me more than, say, any mainline Mario game because of its relatively consistent worldbuilding and the fact that it had a story that wasn't an extremely marginal part of the game. The seamless incorporation of compelling narratives into a game format is an important part of the medium for me. But even excluding the general weakness and inoffensiveness of Nintendo's stories and worlds, and just focusing on gameplay, their games have some issues that I find quite difficult to brush past, and I don't agree with how highly their games are generally ranked.

Change my mind.

I have a weird love/apathy relationship with open world games. I generally analogize them to a Golden Corral Buffet vs. a six course gourmet meal that is most AAA scripted games.

The buffet just has cheap, rapidly prepared food available in quantity, you pick and choose what you want, and gorge yourself on desserts if you so desire. Just don't expect high quality, and don't complain if you don't like what you eat, you picked it from the available options! That's open world games. A gourmet meal prepared by a chef will strictly control the presentation and actual preparation of the food you eat, and forces you to consume it in a particular order, but is generally crafted specifically to create the most delicious experience such that the meal itself is memorable to you.

I love a well-crafted story in a single-player game even if it is just a railroad that takes me from set-piece to set-piece (in the Uncharted series, sometimes the railroad IS the set piece) but sometimes I'd rather just watch a movie.

Open world games at least allow me to try things out that the game designer didn't knowingly program in so I feel less like I'm a slave to someone else's whims (shoutout to Bioshock 1). But the game worlds inevitably feel like they're miles and miles wide but barely ankle deep. Oh sure its cool that I CAN climb/fly/grapple hook my way up that mountain in the distance, but there's no compelling reason to GO up there. No, finding some random collectible isn't a strong impetus. "Because its there" really only works for real life summits. I can cheat-code my way to the top of an in-game mountain which takes most meaning from the 'achievement' of climbing it.

Batman: Arkham City was probably my favorite Hybrid of the two. Plenty to do in the 'overworld,' no 'hard' railroading but the story progresses in a direct linear fashion by imposing subtle restraints on your ability to explore. Ample surprises to find if you explore, and seriously well-crafted set-pieces at deliberate intervals. You WANT to explore, and exploring gives you useful rewards, and most of the 'random' encounters were actually fun and challenging, and the story wasn't an afterthought.

I realized the one experience I crave from open-world games is the feeling of being stalked implacably across the landscape by an enemy that is more dangerous than I am but also slightly slower so that if I concentrate on covering distance I can outpace them but every time I rest or get delayed I risk them catching and killing me.

As in, being the 'prey' in The Most Dangerous Game, and genuinely having to survive on wits and scavenged weapons as I try to find a way to bring the pursuer down.

Not many single-player open-world games provide this experience, especially in a mostly dynamic/unscripted way where I can keep on running for hours on end and have close encounters with the pursuer that don't have a predetermined outcome.

Getting in a running gun battle with a squad of trained killers who I have to slowly whittle down with traps, extremely limited ammunition, and improvised weapons in a geographically interesting locale would be an enjoyable challenge to me. Lol, I just realized that a game where you play as a random thug or henchman being hunted through the streets of Gotham by Batman and Co. would be AMAZING.

Far Cry 2 was able to do a pretty good job on this front, since enemies had impressive AI and the game mechanics constantly put you at a disadvantage, so it was possible to be caught off guard by an enemy squad and have to flee into the jungle and have them continue stalking you persistently while you maneuver around trying to score a kill and then run for cover as they return fire. The newer games in that series made the enemies too impotent to inspire the same fear, and also they're generally too dumb to actually chase you far.

It sounds like Breath of the Wild is the equivalent of a child's playground with lots of points of interests to play on and various toys which you can implement interesting strategies with, but no real risk inherent to the game and a very static, unresponsive world that doesn't necessarily invite different approaches. Can't speak to the story, which has historically ALSO been a strength of the series (don't care what anybody says, I enjoyed Twilight princess).

I guess I remain very hopeful that generative AI will allow open worlds to get a lot more dynamic and gain some depth that makes them more fun to play around in for longer, and can create a more complete illusion of a lived-in world where you are a smaller part of the whole.

In my opinion, Far Cry 2 is the best Far Cry game by a long shot. It’s the only one that actually delivered on the premise of being stranded in a hostile remote land and having to fight tooth and nail to survive. You have to be careful and think strategically. Especially when you’re playing on console and don’t have the ability to save anywhere. It also did the morally ambiguous premise a lot better than any of the others.

Strong agree.

"You're stranded, you're sick, almost everyone will try to kill you on sight, except a handful of companions who are reliable but have dubious loyalties. Oh and your weapons will break without warning. Try not to die."

I won't say I hated the following entries' gimmick of "Young American guy visits foreign country and becomes skilled badass" but it didn't have the same feel.

Playing as a morally ambiguous mercenary in a story with no obvious heroes and accepting missions from BOTH sides of a civil war and killing people who aren't framed as soulless henchmen to an evil regime is much better at conveying a sense of isolation and detachment from civilized society. You're not fighting to save your friends or, even, to get back home.

Hell, even the ambient audio from enemies made it feel like they ALSO got trapped in this shithole country because they wanted to earn a quick buck and had to fall in with one side or the other of the war. They have no allegiance to the nation and they're trying to kill the protagonist solely so he doesn't kill them first.

I keep praying for a remaster/remake that changes up the wonky weapon inventory system, fixes the respawning checkpoints, adds in predatory wildlife, and leaves EVERYTHING ELSE the same.

I think there’s a “hunted” type start in CDDA, if you’re willing to go through that learning curve.

BotW sucks. Most open world games do imo, for the types of reasons that you outline.

Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask are far superior to BotW as Zelda titles.

Nintendo is far past their prime. Most people would put their glory days somewhere in the 90s/early 00s. But, there is admittedly an irreducible element of childhood nostalgia required for fully enjoying any of these games anyway.

They have no need to innovate, because for some bizarre reason the entire industry has completely ceded the vast territories of "in-person multiplayer" and "games for children" to them for decades. They're sitting on an uncontested monopoly. For a parent who wants to play video games with their young children, Nintendo is pretty much the only option available. If you want to get drunk and have a fun night in with friends, no other company even tries to compete with Nintendo's offerings: Mario Kart and Super Smash Bros. remain the gold standard to this day. Even the Halo series mostly gave up on split screen play years ago. I don't know why, but Nintendo is the only company that still makes video games for people who want to play in the same room as each other. They're the exact same six games they've been making over and over again since 1994, granted, but it's not like there are many alternatives out there outside of sports and fighting games, but even those are often only 2-player and increasingly designed for online play at the expense of the in-person experience.

Nintendo is far past their prime.

Not in terms of profits. Or in terms of influence. BotW is probably the most influential game since Arkham Asylum.

I'm assuming you're taking about the combat system that everyone either copied or riffed on. I think around that time Assassin's Creed 2 is a contender for most influential. I feel every was AC2+++ for awhile.

Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask are far superior to BotW as Zelda titles.

Agreed (I couldn't get into BOTW either). But MM has aged worse than OOT IMO, much as it pains me to say it.

I'm not here to change your mind, but to agree with you. BotW was a huge disappointment and I stopped playing it after 10-20h (guessing) and I did the first divine beast (the mammoth). I didn't even bother with TotK because I had no desire to get that disappointment again.

First, I'll say that I play Zelda games for the dungeons. I want to go to cool places, solve fun puzzles, and get neat items that unlock more puzzles. I'm not interested in the world, which is really just connective tissue between the actual good parts of the game (though some games have more interesting overworlds than others). So right off the bat, BotW was off on the wrong foot. Only four dungeons? Not a good sign. But the shrines do exist, so I figured that might make up for it.

Turns out that the shrines don't really do it for me at all. They are so short that right as I'm getting into the groove and having fun, it's all over. Additionally, as you get all the items at the beginning of the game they don't engage you in new ways the way other Zelda games do. On top of that, the one divine beast I did (the actual dungeon!) was super short and simple. It took me maybe 20-30 minutes. So the main draw of Zelda for me was a big fat bust.

On top of that, the game screwed up one of the other things I love about Zelda, which is the music. Most Zelda soundtracks are packed with bangers, so I figured that I'd like the music at least. But no, it's all ambient piano shit. I know opinions vary, but ambient music is fucking boring. It was awful having to listen to that everywhere I went. I know they recorded real music for the game, it was in some of the trailers. But I never heard it when I played. Huge letdown.

On top of all that, I hated traversing the world. Ostensibly the main draw of the game, I found it to be both unreasonably big, and devoid of anything interesting. So not only were the shrines and dungeons not very good, they were connected by a painful slog through the world every time I wanted to get to one. The world, by itself, would have put a serious damper on my opinion of the game. But when it wasn't firing on any other cylinders either, it was unbearable.

Overall, I rate BotW 2/5 stars at best. It's beautiful to look at, and the physics are fun, but there's nothing interesting there in the long run. It's a terrible Zelda.

Edit: oh yeah I forgot to mention the equipment durability system. It fucking sucks (as all such systems do). People hated it in Skyward Sword, so why on earth did Nintendo think it was a good idea to bring it back? And from what I've heard it's even worse because it applies to the Master Sword (albeit just disabling it temporarily rather than destroying it). At least in SS, they had the sense to make the iconic Hylian Shield exempt from the durability system. If they had to keep durability (which they shouldn't have), they at least should've made the Master Sword similarly exempt.

It's a terrible Zelda.

This is much more defensible than calling it a terrible game.

I loved it, 5/5, one of the best games ever, the "Skyrim for kids" I'd been hoping for ever since I had kids ... but it's a very different gameplay genre from most Zelda games and I can't begrudge bigger Zelda fans for resenting seeing it published under the "Legend of Zelda" name.

Nintendo is overrated in the way Disney is overrated — brand power and nostalgia do a lot to sell and market their games. That said, look at the AAA gaming scene over the last 5 and what developers are left that haven't devolved into slop mills pushing out incomplete, buggy, soulless games? Nintendo, From Soft, maybe CD Projekt depending on how charitable you want to be towards Cyberpunk. Nintendo holding onto their reputation for this long speaks to something beyond nostalgia.

I share a lot of your criticisms of Breath of the Wild though. They spent so much time on the (admittedly amazing) world design and physics engine that dungeons, loot, enemy variety are all undercooked. Something I've noticed about it is that the non-gamers I know absolutely adore the game. They love the freedom and playing around with the cool physics system to see what you can do. More traditional gamers I know get tired of the copy-paste content after trying to play the game like a traditional Zelda and wind up much more negative on the game.

That said, look at the AAA gaming scene over the last 5 and what developers are left that haven't devolved into slop mills pushing out incomplete, buggy, soulless games? Nintendo, From Soft, maybe CD Projekt depending on how charitable you want to be towards Cyberpunk.

This is certainly true and it is why I unironically Only Play Indie Games. I grew up in a time where Newgrounds games were becoming increasingly popular, and as a result have always had a bent towards the more idiosyncratic styles of small teams and individual creators. And as high-quality tools to create games have slowly become more democratised and readily available over the years, there has been less and less reason for me to turn towards AAA studios for... anything, really. You can now find really well refined games coming out of independent studios now without any of the soulless, manicured, decision-by-committee feel that AAA titles tend to have. Indie games have always been able to pursue more distilled and targeted visions as they are usually geared towards smaller consumer niches, instead of aiming for wide appeal, and in addition the small size of their operations allow for less compromise.

Does Nintendo stack up favourably to many other AAA studios? Yeah, but considering the absolute disappointment that is the AAA gaming scene in general I'd argue that's not saying much.

Can you tell me some of your favorite games from the last few years?

I usually enjoy indie games I have played, but I don't go to the online places where I would hear about them. Really, I've been hosed on discovering new games since Tips and Tricks magazine went out of business.

You didn't ask me but I have some recs too.

  1. Oxygen Not Included (2019). Probably my favorite game of all time. Don't let the cutesy art fool you; under the survival / colony sim surface this is an incredibly addictive engineering sandbox game. Tame a volcano for a steady supply of aluminum! Build a geothermal plant powered by the magma in your planetoid's core! Construct a giant counterflow heat exchanger to boil crude oil into petroleum for your power generators... which produce water as a byproduct... which can be purified and fed into oil wells for more crude oil. Build little rockets to colonize other planetoids, and figure out logistics to ship resources around for your megaprojects. Exploit the hell out of the game's physics. Or, you know, just tame the magic critters that eat weird magic plants and grow shearable plastic scales. The expansions add a lot and are well worth the price.
  2. Anything from the (now defunct) Zachtronics. Engineering / automation / programming puzzle games of many flavors. My favorite is still probably their first title, SpaceChem (2011), despite its lack of polish, because of how insanely hard (and rewarding) some of the levels are. If you want something more forgiving, there's Opus Magnum (2017); for silly assembly programming fun there's TIS-100 (2015) and Shenzhen I/O (2016). I have heard good things about Exapunks (2018) but never got around to it because of the titles above and below.
  3. Obligatory Rimworld (2018). You probably know this one. Colony sim. It's good. I haven't played with the latest expansion though.
  4. Seconding Baba is You; best non-Zachtronics puzzle game I've played (and probably better than half of the Zachtronics ones too).
  5. Also Obligatory Terraria (2011 but somehow still getting free updates) If you played many years ago but not in the last few, it's worth trying it out again.
  6. Slay the Spire (2019), despite being way too popular, is also Actually Good, but it is even more Actually Addicting so I'm not sure I'd recommend it.
  7. Noita (2020) is a roguelike platformer spell programming sort of thing and I am so bad at it (mostly because I am bad at the roguelike platformer part). It has an enormous world full of zany secrets too.
  8. Understand (2020). Another puzzle game, but this one is like doing IQ test pattern finding questions. Except actually fun? If you like this sort of thing, you will love it; if you don't, then you will be incredibly bored but at least it's only 4 bucks.

Yeah, sure thing. I don't know which genres you're most partial to, but here are some games I think are particularly well done, along with a short description of what they're about.

1: SOMA (2015)

SOMA is a horror game by Frictional Games, a studio best known for pioneering a game mechanic where you can essentially only run and hide from enemies. They primarily broke out with the game Amnesia: The Dark Descent which blew up on Youtube everywhere in the heyday of Let's Plays. Ever since then, they've mostly tried to recapture the pure horror vibes of Amnesia, but there was a brief moment where they decided to make a horror title with more existential sci-fi leanings.

Frictional's game designer, Thomas Grip, has stated that SOMA was hugely inspired by hard sci-fi authors such as Peter Watts and Greg Egan, and it really shows. It's by far my favourite game of theirs, and if you're playing one game on this list, make it this one. Go in completely blind. You won't find a better game narrative anywhere.

2: Baba Is You (2019)

I feel like Baba Is You is one of these indie titles I don't have to say too much about because of its ubiquity, but Baba Is You is a sokoban puzzle game where you push statements around an endlessly manipulable game world in order to satisfy a win condition. The game allows for constructing statements that allow the player to change the very characteristics of the level, to the point that you can yourself define the win condition of many levels.

It is not easy, and is one of these sadistically difficult puzzle games which you'll find yourself banging your head against for hours. According to Steam I've wasted 47.5 hours of my life on this game's puzzles alone.

3: Growing My Grandpa! (2022)

Now this is a weird one. Growing My Grandpa! is a short game by up-and-coming indie creator Yames that exhibits a strange hybrid of influences coming from Virtual Pet games, 90s adventure/edutainment games and Cronenbergian body horror alike, and the result is an extremely surreal and unique game that has absolutely no parallel elsewhere. The gameplay is fairly sparse, innocuous and repetitive, as is par for the course for a game based around a virtual pet-like mechanic - but it gets contrasted against an increasingly eerie, grotesque and uncanny plot, a dichotomy that's exploited as both a source of humour and horror in the game.

This game is very esoteric. It's not for everyone, and I can imagine people being really put off by any combination of the mechanics, the visual style, or the writing. In my case, I think his work is enticing enough to want to donate to his Patreon, which is fairly unusual for me.

4: INSIDE (2016)

INSIDE is a dark, cryptic platformer from developer Playdead. It draws many elements from their breakout hit Limbo - child protagonist, bleak atmosphere, abstract plot, many ways to die in bloody fashion - except it's executed better in virtually every way. As is usual from this developer, there's not a single line of dialogue and there isn't too much explanation provided to contextualise the events of the game, and much of the story is told through the environment.

A major draw of INSIDE is the art direction and music, which is executed beautifully throughout - it's a very atmospheric and potent game, and despite the lack of a clear through-line for the situations the game throws at you there is always a sense of intentionality behind every design decision that keeps it coherent.

5: Inscryption (2021)

This is a roguelike deck-building card game from Pony Island creator Daniel Mullins, and it's yet another title where it's best to know as little as possible about the game gong in, because suffice to say, it does not stay in that genre for very long. Despite appearances in the beginning, it is a plot heavy game - while the story is certainly a (I'd say intentionally) campy one, it provides the framework for a lot of very interesting genre-bending that gets executed quite smoothly and cleverly.

The element of surprise is crucial in this game, and the only reason I'm giving this much away about it is that I am aware of people who completely didn't anticipate the later shifts in the game, and were fairly disappointed by it since they went in expecting one thing and got another.

Forget everything you just read. This is a perfectly normal game.

There are many more quality games that have been released over the past few years, but these are the ones that currently come to mind which I actually think try to do something really interesting and intriguing with their setup, even if sometimes they are a little rough around the edges. Note I have a bit of a bias towards plot-focused, generally bleak games (with the exception of Baba Is You), these are my own genre preferences showing through and they might not align with yours.

I might just be a fan, but I don't think Nintendo is particularly overrated. To me, they really are the best at what they do.

There's really no other company that consistently makes games that "feel" as good to play. Maneuvering the character in Mario, Zelda, Pikmin, and Splatoon feels responsive, smooth, and intuitive in a way I haven't seen from any other game maker. They're also really great at making games that simultaneously have a low skill floor and a high skill ceiling.

God of War, The Witcher 3, and Horizon Zero Dawn are some of the biggest Sony titles, but to me the character movements feel sluggish, jerky, and unintuitive. They can have beautiful worlds and good stories, but I don't really enjoy existing there nearly as much.

Bungie is similarly good at making games that feel good - say what you will about Destiny or Destiny 2, it is fun to shoot guns in those games. Unfortunately, they are also pretty iffy these days on translating those good fundamentals into games that are overall fun.

Prototype and Warframe are pretty fun on the speedier-combat side, though they do share similar issues with the gameplay loop struggling at times.

God of War, The Witcher 3, and Horizon Zero Dawn are some of the biggest Sony titles, but to me the character movements feel sluggish, jerky, and unintuitive. They can have beautiful worlds and good stories, but I don't really enjoy existing there nearly as much.

Have you tried From Software games? I can' think of any studio that that makes third person melee feel as good as they do.

I played around with Dark Souls a bit, but I didn't get far enough to really judge. I usually only play video games when I'm mentally drained so I never stuck with it long enough to "git gud". Elden Ring is at the top of my list for the next time I have an extended gap from working.

Nintendo is the only game company left that I'd consider a preorder from.

It is telling that Nintendo's worst received titles tend to be games that they either rode into the ground (New New New Super Mario Bros. U & Knuckles Featuring Dante from the Devil May Cry series) or just didn't finish (Sunshine, the newer sports games, and to a point ToTK).

I thought Breath of the Wild was amazing when I first played it, but it dropped off hard as I got further into it. Open world in zelda, plus the joy of getting things like the shield to glide around with or experimenting with all the different weapons that broke? Amazing fun. But it all wore off so damn fast. Oh well. Not all games have to be 100+ marathons, you know? Enjoy it for 5 hours, put it away, move on.

You know, Breath of the Wild IMHO had vibes going for it a lot. A lot of those vibes were downwind of game design decisions, some were nostalgia though. Going from your typical Ubisoft open world slop, with a map full of ADHD/OCD inducing icons yanking you left and right, to Breath of the Wilds more sedate experience of scaling tall mountains and then manually placing markers for places you want to explore, the difference in vibes is enormous. Ubislop makes me downright anxious, Breath of the Wild felt remarkably chill and relaxing. I think people responded to that strongly.

Then again, if you enjoy Ubislop, Breath of the Wild feels empty and boring.

Another aspect of Breath of the Wild that was deeply rewarding was that the world wasn't as empty as it seems at first. Sure there are the Shrines, then there are also some great riddles to solve, puzzles in the landscape, and literally hundreds of Korok puzzles hiding in plain sight. Now I'm not encouraging anyone to try to do all of them. That would be insane. But it's deeply rewarding to be wondering through an "empty" area, and suddenly something catches your eye. Some tree that seems to have a little too much intent. Turns out it actually is a puzzle and you get a little reward. It's nice.

Some of the best quest have very little advertising. I forget how I discovered the Terrytown questline, but it was fantastic, and largely did not involve following quest markers for 2 hours straight.

All that said, I played Breath of the Wild before I had a family. When I could spend upwards of 4 hours a play session enjoying the vibes and being immersed in the world. When I attempted to play Tears of the Kingdom however many years later, it went significantly less well. First I could only play in short burst, which I wanted to be far more goal oriented than is optimal to enjoy the game. I forget how far I got, and I doubt I'll ever return to finish it. All the complaints you have were made far more manifest.

I built a gaming table.

This has been a goal of mine forever. Ever since I started board gaming probably 15 years ago, and I saw Geek Chic's tables, I wanted one. Of course, I was moving from one bedroom apartment to one bedroom apartment at the time, and they were bonkers expensive, and then Geek Chic went bankrupt. So that never happened. But it's always been on my bucket list.

Well, it's finally happened! I've settled down, I own a home, I have my nerd cave, and it's time for the table. But having a family and responsibilities, it's hard to justify dropping between $3000 to $6000 on a table for gaming. So instead I spent $450 on some 4 quarters and 5 quarters rustic walnut, $50 on a sheet of plywood, $50 on some cork, and probably another $100 on assorted glues, finishes, hardware and fabric. And lets not forget about 3 months of my precious free time, as well as perhaps some not so free time. My wife is starting to want me to be done with this so she can have her husband back for things she wants done. Like another chicken coop, or redoing more of the kitchen.

It starts with the plan, rather dog eared and torn at this point, but you'll have to forgive me. The idea is that I can bring it into my basement in pieces: legs, armrest/apron, bottom play surface, supports, and toppers, then assemble it. Because getting a whole ass hardwood table into my basement simply isn't going to happen, much less back out if I ever move. Now normally this would be done with some simple leg/apron hardware like this, but my problem with most hardware I saw was it would interfere or look really ugly with the recessed playing area. So instead I made things difficult for myself and went with a dovetail slot design, along with an inner and outer table apron. To add another plane of rigidity, I also decided to use some dowels for the arm rest to both keep them level with one another since they are separate parts, but I also kept them perpendicular to the direction of the wood despite being along a 45 degree miter joint. This also has the added benefit of making assembly somewhat easier. I tested all this joinery out on some scraps of maple I had lying around, and then went to work on my walnut.

First I made the legs. These are about 3 inches thick, and instead of gluing up a solid 3x3 chunk of walnut, I decided to go with miter locks. They glue up super strong, and conform into place effortlessly, plus you get an attractive face grain on every side. I did have to go over the corners with a burnishing rod to close up some gaps however. Still, they came out super nice.

After that I picked out the boards for the aprons, and then marked the boards for the arm rests and toppers. I'm still learning how to pick out lumber, so there were a lot of really gnarly knots I had to work around in figuring out my rough cuts. Some couldn't be avoided, but the ugliest defects became interior surfaces. It's a fun process, like reverse tetris. The aprons milled up nicely, then I shellaced the legs. I made a jig to assist in routing out the dovetails and it worked amazingly well once I had it dialed in. After a test fit, and laying the arm rest on loosely, I was very proud of myself. Each individual dovetail slot had a little play in it, but collectively there was none, and the table doesn't wobble a millimeter when nudged or even hit. But now began the laborious process of getting the finish done.

First I filled the voids with some sawdust and wood glue. The results were OK but I think next time I might try sawdust and CA glue. I also had to route the rabbet the toppers will sit inside along the armrest. I wasn't 100% confident in my ability to have perfectly flat toppers, so I decided to use felt along the rabbet to compensate for a small about of unevenness. The last thing I wanted was any rattle in the toppers as people use the table. It worked fantastic. Then I shellacked and waxed the apron, along with the underside of the arm rest. Visible surfaces got 3 coats of shellac and hard wax, interior surfaces got a single seal coat of shellac. I've seen conflicting reports about how smart this is. Some people swear you must evenly coat every surface or the humidity will unevenly effect the wood, resulting in cupping or cracking. But every piece of furniture I've ever seen, even really nice hardwood furniture, skimps on the interior or underside. So I'm going to assume it'll be OK.

One thing I've learned is I definitely prefer finishing surfaces before assembly versus attempting to finish inside corners. I'm terrible at inside corners, and always leave really obnoxious marks where the coats on one surface run into the other. Adds more steps to the process, but the results are way better with my skill level.

Along the way I glued up all the panels for the toppers. Each panel is approximately a foot wide and and three feet long, with some rabbets along the sides to slot into the table armrest or each other. I also had to make a Home Depot trip for plywood, which I have a helpful carrier for. Full sheets of plywood are so much cheaper than project panels. I also didn't want the bottom play surface to have any seams. And this was super easy to break down to the proper dimensions thanks to a rip cut guide I got. Because I still can't freehand very straight with a circular saw, and track saws are more expensive than they have any right to be. Needed some notches taken out for the leg corners which intrude about a 1/2 inch into the play area, but I did that with a small hand saw.

The aprons got joined to the arm rest using a fuck ton of pocket hole screws. I also did some mortise and tenon joinery for the support planks that will hold up the playing surface. They are a little loose, but I judged that to be acceptable since I won't be gluing them and they are going to be held in on both sides by the rest of the table joinery.

Another test fit, checking the plywood, and onto attaching the cork. This was just accomplished with a 3M adhesive spray, and cutting the excess off with a utility knife. Super easy.

I attempted to use a ghetto shooting board and my carbide sanding block to clean up the angles on the armrest miters. It made them better but only slightly. I think I just need to invest in an actual hand plane and a proper shooting board.

Next it came time to do the pocket hole screws, and after getting everything situated and clamped it came together quickly and easily. I shellacked the rabbet on the topper pieces and then applied the felt. The result was a very nice and very flat top surface. After much sanding to get out a few of the uneven areas, it was time to take it all apart and get it ready to be finished.

There were some finishing details I needed to attend to. I made these support pieces to help hold up the play surface and spread them around the edge of the inner apron. I also had my wife help me attach the upholstery velvet to the plywood and cork with more 3M adhesive spray, then pulled it back and stapled it to the bottom. I think it came out great in the end.

Much sanding, shellacing and waxing later, it was ready for reassembly. It went back together way harder than it came apart. I allowed some room between the plywood and the apron for the velvet to rap around, but not quite enough. It was a tight fit that took some moderate man handling to line back up. Upside, the bottom is in there nice and snug and won't move around on you. And here we are with the final product, covered and uncovered. It feels really good having made something beautiful to put in my home, and I'm looking forward to my daughter making lots of memories of family game nights around it.

Side note, should I ever do this again, I think I'll use loose tenon joinery instead of dowels. The dowels just had too much wiggle in them to really keep those sections level to my satisfaction. Also, as good as the finish came out, I think I need to start thinning my shellac and doing more, thinner coats. It was probably my best, most even application to date, but in the wrong lighting at the wrong angle if you look closely you can still see some unevenness. Alas. Lastly, one of the boards that makes up half a topper has a network of cracks radiating through it parallel to the face gain. I first noticed it in the milling process, but it didn't look that bad, I thought cutting off the last inch or two would get rid of it. Also, I had no spares to replace it with. I kept going, and every step of the way in, it spread even more. I kept attempting to stabilize it by filling it in with glue, but that didn't seem to work as I could only address the exposed portion of the crack which was retreating deeper and deeper into the wood unseen. It resulted in one of the toppers having a distinct hollow feeling in a few spots. If it gets even worse than it already is, I guess I'll just make a replacement. Because I have that option. In the future, cracked boards get thrown out, no matter how far along the process I am.

I was once asked if my adventurers in woodworking and the money I've spent has been "worth it". It was hard to quantify when I was making little experimental practice projects, or unique one off's like an oak computer case or a bookshelf for old PC game manuals. When I made the cabinets for the kitchen I probably saved about $300. This table however, I probably saved myself enough money building it myself versus buying one that it pays for all of my tools and then some. If I had the means to make more tables and reliably sell them, I'd be almost tempted to.

Next up, a set of 4 chairs, mostly with the off cuts from the table. Gotta stretch that $450 I spent on lumber as far as it'll go.

Great stuff! I need to get back into the shop.

Dude, that looks beautiful. I salute your skill at creating something so nice, it must have taken quite a bit of practice to get to that point.

Nicely done! I haven't done anything remotely similar since woodwork in school. I was terrible at it, and glad when I could give it up, but there's a feeling that comes from crafting something physical that you can't really get elsewhere.

Thanks. There is something deeply sentimental about making the furniture that goes into your home, that you and your family enjoy and make memories around. The making memories is what I'm looking forward to the most. Every night my daughter wants to play games at it now. But she's only 4, so we've mostly stuck to Carcassonne, Kingdomino and Ingenious because she can handle the matching tile placement, and we do the score for her. I'd post her adorable pictures, but we're trying to keep her internet profile nonexistent. Last thing we need is her in a bunch of digital fingerprint databases from birth.

Great work and looks amazing! Getting your shellac to look perfectly even is super hard, so if that is the worst you have I think that is pretty damn good!

Thanks for the post and pictures!

Thanks.

One thing I keep wondering about is how much I should really put some elbow grease into it when I'm doing the final rub with 0000 steel wool and furniture wax. I did notice the more aggressive I got, the more I got it to a glasslike smoothness. But it would be straight up warm from the friction when I was done, and I was worried about how much finish I might actually be rubbing off with all the effort, so I ultimately erred on the side of being more conservative. Maybe I'll experiment a bit more with my approach as I work on the chairs since I just care about them less.

It's annoyingly inconsistent I think. I've had great results with really working hard as you described. And then sometimes for no seeming discernable reason the same thing seems to take some of the finish off. I'm sure there was something I did wrong, as I am not an expert by any means.

Your work looks really, really good, so I think you can definitely be proud of that!

I know when I did mine and polished to a glass finish, my steel wool pad was already pretty gummed up and dull from the wax. I have raw dogged with steel wool and gone through the shellac in a flash. I was actually just reviewing a Paul Sellers video where he's doing a shellac finish with wax, and he just barely touches it with a dry 0000 steel wool pad, and then comes after with the wax. Never hurts to keep trying different techniques though.

Why shellac instead of an oil?

I like the look and feel of shellac over oil. I also don't like how long it takes an oil to stop off gassing.

Probably because it's a lot more fun to say.

Very nice

I really enjoyed the album and the story, thank you. I love how the table matches the hardwood floor in your game room. Also, I am stealing the design of your improvised 45deg shooting board.

You know, in person it doesn't match as much as it appears to in that photo. Also, not real hardwood, just LVP.

I wouldn't both "stealing" my design, it sucked and didn't work that well :P You can see I shoved a feeler gauge in there to try to micro adjust the angle. Might have worked better with an actual hand plane though.

Awesome post, thanks for the share. Enjoyed the progress pics as well.

Possibly the funniest paragraph ever written in a court opinion:

In the fall of 2021, Complainant, [Appellant] Dawson's 14-year-old daughter, asked him if she could go to her boyfriend's house. Dawson agreed but conditioned his permission on her letting him “eat her out”. Sometime after, on a day when Complainant stayed home from school, Dawson acted on this.

Source (found on this government webpage, though you would be forgiven for expecting a link to ArchiveOfOurOwn or Literotica)

I misread this at first. I had thought the daughter said "eat me" as a retort. That would have been twisted-sitcom funny.

No, this was a proposition from the father from the start. We do not share the same sense of humor.

Yeah, I don't think some guy doing sexual things with his daughter is funny either. More, "wow there are some degenerate people in this world".

Speaking of, which one of you degenerates created asstr.xyz and then stopped maintaining it? It is dead.

There's an Internet archive copy from ??? https://web.archive.org/web/20220621041856/https://asstr.org/main.html

Link from the ATF wiki, which amazingly was the 2nd Google result for asstr

Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Child Porn?

The more moral ATF that at least pretends they don't want to bang your kids (not the government one--the pedophile forum)

Did the judge rule on whether it's gay to eat out your daughter after she's had sex with her boyfriend?

I dunno man, seems kinda gay to me.

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