The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Seeking advice on sinusitis. I’ve had this and general upper respiratory things recurring for as long as I can remember. 30 years, maybe more. I remember a doc writing a prescription for some nasal spray drugs when I was 14 or 15 and reading his scrawled handwriting “acute sinusitis”.
Past couple of years this has been getting worse and recurring with greater frequency. Once led to an ER visit with literally unbearable pain, when I was placed on a hydration and strong painkilling drip and kept overnight. Past 3-4 months has been characterised by significant nasal blockages, sinus pain behind forehead, eyes, cheeks, teeth.
No joke, but I’m not sure I know what it feels like to breathe comfortably. One or both nostrils are almost always blocked, and I’m either clearing them violently or coughing up and hawking out viscous glue from deep within me.
Lifestyle: I’m quite fit. Run plenty. Marathon last year, aim for 60-80 miles a month, can fairly straightforwardly get off the couch and jog a half marathon (if slowly). Nutrition could definitely be better. Despite running, am still ~5-10 pounds above ideal weight and carrying some belly/visceral fat.
Interested to hear if anyone has had similar experiences and if so if they were able to overcome it. (I’ve often thought of this as a strong but passing discomfort, but then it never passed, and recently been having existential dread at this not going away and actually getting worse and leading to a dire quality of life over time.)
I agree with the suggestion that you see a doctor, preferably a specialist (an otolaryngologist or Ear/Nose/Throat doctor) if you can be referred to one. Chronic sinusitis can result from ongoing inflammation from allergies, from environmental irritants, or anatomical abnormalities (think nasal polyps.) It sounds like this is affecting your quality of life and that's a good enough reason to talk to a competent doctor if you can.
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My kid had her sinuses drilled out this past summer. Her ENT is cautious, so prior to surgery he had her take targeted antibiotics based on the infection(s) in her head. He had her treat her allergies. He did steroid treatments. She cut out potential triggers (dairy, sugar, wheat). But after a few years of throwing things at it and the concrete junk in her sinuses not clearing out, surgery it was. It was out patient. She was in significant pain for a week and then was generally exhausted and spacey for another few weeks. But she can breathe now. She doesn't have constant pain in her face. She doesn't catch every bug that comes along. She can get sick without bleeding out of her eyes (cool party trick!)
I recommend seeing an ENT. You can probably find one who will jump straight to surgery, but it might be worth making sure none of the "easier" things will fix it. My kid was truly miserable for about a week and my husband was almost to the point of calling her doc and begging for pain meds beyond Motrin + Tylenol. OTOH months later she's glad she had the surgery and seems to have halfway forgotten how miserable she was while healing.
That sounds rough. I got a single shot of tramadol after the surgery and that's it, they offered a nightcap shot, but I refused it and didn't need any meds after that, just felt like shit for three days.
I think hers was an extreme case. Every single sinus cavity she had was full of gunk and had been for years. And I think she was really sensitive to pain in her face. She also ended up with necrotic uvula (no big deal, the dead bit falls off, but it was additional pain).
Good pain meds would have been nice. But a humidifier and heat and ice packs and parents at her beck and call worked. The surgery worked wonders but I think it's definitely worth it to try other possible solutions first.
My sinuses were completely full as well and the doc was quite surprised I had no complaints about them: no headaches, no sensitivity. I guess I was lucky.
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Have you seen a doctor yet? You'll probably need an ENT.
This could be a million things. Atypical anatomy. Something like allergies or GERD causing odd problems.
Serious things are possible and you'll want to rule them out.
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Have you ever tried modifying your diet? I have a friend who said their sinutitus improved significantly after eliminating certain foods (dairy I think)
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There are over-the-counter mild nasal steroid sprays (active ingredient Mometasone furoate 50 micrograms/spray) that can alleviate some symptoms of sinusitis and can be used indefinitely. Go to a pharmacist and explain your symptoms and see what they recommend. Try a regime before considering surgery.
Consider getting checked out for hayfever/allergies. I'm not sure how effective anti-histamines are for allergic based sinusitis (not a doctor).
Otherwise, yeah go find a referral to an ENT specialist (otorhinolaryngologist?) and tell them what you've said here.
Edit: Consider environmental factors that changed when this got a lot worse. New pets? New House? New city with new air quality/pollen count?
I took way too long to do this after moving to a new house and subsequently turning into a mouth breather, because I never thought of myself as a person with allergies. It turned out that, although I wasn't allergic to the oak pollen that would fall like yellow snow around my previous home, I was very allergic to the relatively invisible wild grass pollens at the new place. A year or so of allergy shots cleared it up.
Are the Nasonex sprays okay for indefinite use? I was prescribed Flonase nasal spray (way back when it was still prescription-only) as a temporary fix while the shots were doing their thing, and I was warned at the time that some of the OTC options let you build up a tolerance if you used them too frequently and would then have withdrawal issues afterwards.
I had allergy issues and went to an ENT (after basically asking a GP directly for a referral and giving them enough dot points about my situation that they rubber stamped my request). The ENT I saw put me onto this stuff and said that he (personally) uses it regularly for sinusitis. I didn't use it long enough to know if the active ingredient can create a tolerance.
I'm not a doctor at all, just a clumsy googling amateur interested in his own health (like many here).
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Cheers for all this. Did get new pet house cats (2) three years ago, which does coincide with worsening symptoms, but also my diet has slacked off a little too in that period of time after a very disciplined 2017-2020. Thanks again.
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Surgery. I used to live with one blocked nostril and multi-week coughs after every cold caused by backdrip, but after my breathing got even worse due to the development of AERD, I finally did the surgery: septoplasty, turbinectomy, endoscopic polysinusotomy.
Discharged after a single night in hospital, the following week was a pain, since I could only breathe through the mouth and had to sleep in a semi-sitting position, but as soon as the stents were taken out it was fine and got only better as the swelling subsided. Washing out massive bloody crusts with a neti pot was a very cool experience.
Definitely consider this post ENT specialist consultation. I literally have no idea what “washing out massive bloody crusts with a neti pot” even means.
The whole process was rather simple: I went to see the ENT doctor, he took a peek inside my nasal cavity and sent me to get a CT scan and referred me to a pulmonologist and an allergologist. Came back with the scan, he took a look at the CT scan and wrote up a diagnosis for the insurance company. They approved the surgery, I went to the local polyclinic for a surgery check-up, arrived at the hospital with the results and woke up with my nose thoroughly eviscerated.
How did you get viscera in your nose in the first place?
Surgery?
A humorless pedant explains the joke in excessive detail: the word "viscera" technically refers to the internal organs found in the torso, such as heart, liver, intestines, etc. "Eviscerate" originally meant removing those organs, for example while preparing a freshly killed animal for consumption. The other poster was joking that your use of the word eviscerated implied that prior to your surgery your nose had contained some unneeded heart/liver/intestines/etc.
Thank you, this was funny, to quote one mildly autistic PM I worked with.
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If it makes you feel better, I had issues with this for years as a kid, especially in winter. Not sure if it was something in the house, but it ended for good after I moved.
Have you moved between environments at all since it became an issue? Any possible clues there?
No, lived in same place for 15 years. Countryside, so air is pretty clean. Not ruling out environmental problems, though.
I suspected mold issues in the ramshackle house I grew up in. Not much of a lead, but if it clears up if you ever spend a few months away from home, it might be a start.
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I have sinus issues and do jal neti regularly, has helped me a ton. Get a neti pot, add lukewarm water, salt and do irrigation. When you do it, do not suck in or blow out water as that will cause it to get in your ears. Doing it regularly helps a lot. I was skeptical of it till I tried it. You can take an anti congestion spray and then do neti 10 minutes later if you have clogged nose.
For context, I am extremely suspectible to throat infections and have had to use anti bioticis very very frequently for it. Jal Neti is the safest thing I do daily to help me stay better.
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Same problem here. 2nd generation, too - it's certainly genetic. Not overcome it so far. I breathe hard, I often wake up at night from not getting enough air, and I get recurring and long-lasting colds at a rather bothersome frequency especially in cold weather. I can do sports just fine when I'm not having a cold, which sadly means not that often, but breathing is troublesome at rest and at sleep.
Xylometazolinechloride works fantastically at fixing the issue...but is said to make it worse with prolonged use, so I don't.
I once got my face scanned and they detected some deformations in the cartilage of the nose which seems to block one nostril almost entirely, and my Otorhinolaryngologist (do anglos really use that term?) recommends getting surgery to fix it. I've been putting it off. So surgery it will have to be at some point, but my confidence in it actually helping is low since a family member with the same problem had it and still catches a cold practically every other tuesday.
Its Ear/Nose/Throat (ENT) doctor/specialist where I come from.
Same as in Germany, then.
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I build reward systems to try to get myself to be productive. These generally involve working set amounts of time on a few different tasks, dieting, and rewarding myself with things like going out to eat or watching a movie. It's very stressful to start a system, and in one sense "stressful" to keep it going and work hard rather than spending all my time reading and playing videogames, but overall I'd say I'm much happier while in a system and being very productive.
Systems generally last a week or two, followed by a few days to a week of malaise before I start a new system. I'm on to number 90 since I started counting them. Each system is honestly very useful in the sense that I learn more about how my own brain works. Only recently (in the last 3ish systems) have I learned that an enormous failure mode for me is to "break" the system in seemingly positive ways, either by deciding not to hold to the system's rewards or do more work than the system requires. I feel stressed, decide to do 8 hours of work rather than 6, and then end up doing no work at all.
I'm smart enough (1600 on SAT), but anything more than a year out feels fake so I'm stuck in a reasonably good white-collar job rather than anything more impressive. And I have no college degree so if I ever lose that job, it's bad news for me. I'd like to live up to some fraction of my potential. Adderall helps a lot but is scary--it can help me work way harder, but days when I don't want to work it also helps me game for way longer and waste more time before getting bored. It's a motivation multiplier, but right now my motivation is negative.
So, how to defeat akrasia? How does one lengthen their time horizons and truly spend time better? I have a reasonably good expectation that these systems will eventually work out when I understand myself better but I'd rather not wait 10 years for system 1000 to find one that really works long-term.
Having a nice, comfortable, good white collar job seems like a good place to figure out what, beyond work, you really want in life and how to get it.
For sure. As far as I can tell I'm the only thing standing in my own way, so the only question is how to get more work done.
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I think I recommend that you stop trying to goad yourself with rewards. If the only reason you’re doing something is a reward, it’s only going to work so long as the rewards are worth the pain. And of course the other part is that you’re setting yourself up to see the task as an unpleasant thing to be suffered through so you can get to the reward.
Try just scheduling the task and removing any obstacles to doing that task at that time. If you’re exercising, for example, schedule that, and just … exercise. Make sure it’s a kind of exercise you like, or listen to music while doing it, but do it, and stop when the session is over. Put the gym clothes on a chair in the bedroom and keep the weights there and so on to make it easy to just start doing it automatically. And sooner or later, you’ll just automatically do it. You’ll get to the point where working out at 3pm on MWF is just something you do.
Another thing to try is get a group of people and just start doing things together. If you’re working on programming than a group learning to program will be muc( better than just doing it alone.
I don't directly reward myself for the reasons you've outlined. There's virtually no conceivable reward that is actually "worth" getting started with work in the morning. Generally the system is mostly its own reward--if I follow it then I get to exercise in the evening, for example, because I've gotten enough work done over the day. Normally I never feel like hiking because I feel like I lack the time, but with a system it becomes possible because I know I've gotten a reasonable amount of work done by the time I go.
So, the rewards aren't just direct "10 points for 1 hour of work," it's more "keep in mind that if you keep the system you get to go on hikes every day or two" which is much more motivating.
Scheduling is good, and actually my top priority right now. I think keeping a steady work and sleep schedule would solve most of my problems. The only obstacle keeping me from it is work--if I haven't gotten enough work done then I really don't want to commit to doing anything else that requires attention or effort. If I could just get my work done consistently I'm sure everything else would fall into place.
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I think for many people, this is the one clear advantage the structured environment of university/community college has: it takes the long-time-horizon task of "get a degree" and breaks it down into many medium-time-horizon tasks ("this semester, I need to pass those two courses") and short-time-horizon tasks ("this week, I need to hand in these exercises"), and it introduces an element of accountability that these tasks get done within a certain time frame (failing a class).
So if "living up to your potential" means getting a more impressive job and a college degree, start by finding a degree that interests you and find out what its course requirements are. Then work towards getting an associate's degree that shares many of those classes. You can probably do the first few classes online, at night, and not pay much money for them. If that works out, you transfer the credits to a 4 year college and get a bachelor's.
If you're in an industry that works around certifications, you can also start getting a couple of those. Basically same principle, but you might get your company to pay for them and find it easier to work it in around your job.
That's a good point about college which I hadn't considered.
I work in programming so certifications are definitely a thing, might be a good idea to take a day and turn my long-term goal of becoming a cracked programmer into a series of medium-term goals.
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Diarrhea every day for the last year or so?
Every morning I pass solid stool that looks normal and healthy. Then an hour later I’ll need to go back, and it’ll be diarrhea. Pretty much every day.
What’s up? Should I be concerned? No accompanying stomach ache. No other discomfort or symptoms.
Maybe try an eliminating diet to check if the food you're eating is causing the problems. I remember having a similar problem when I initially became lactose intolerant. Stopping all milk consumption fixed it.
Do you know why you became lactose intolerant?
I had a pretty serious case of pneumonia in 5th grade, the doctors pumped me full of who-knows-what and my body simply lost the ability to process lactose afterwards. The condition is actually quite common outside of Europe and the US.
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This is the kind of thing you should bring up to your doctor. My husband started having colon polyps in his 30s.
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Seconding bartender, coffee reliably gives me the shits in ways tea or even energy drinks don't.
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Any correlation with what you're eating in the morning? Caffeine, nicotine, salty food, alcohol the night before?
I can't think of anything drastic. I've been abstaining from lunch for about 2 1/2 years, so for a while now dinner will be my first food of the day. But that change did not coincide with the change in bowel movements.
I've had a heavy coffee habit my entire adult life, and same with salty food.
...You know what, you might have solved it for me. I consume much more alcohol than I did about two years ago. It's a few nights a week that I drink now. So should I be concerned about the diarrhea?
Yes, you should be concerned, about your alcohol intake, and about your colon. Speak to your doctor.
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Like SteveKirk said, your body's reaction to coffee can also change rapidly without much warning. I had a switch-flip moment too and I can basically no longer drink it. I ask about salty food specifically because if your gut is kind of weak eating a lot of salt can dump water into it, so it depends if you always eat a salty breakfast/drink electrolytes in the morning. w/r/t alcohol, that's certainly possible. If it happens on days when you didn't drink the night before, it's probably not an acute effect, just that your gut health may be poor in general and alcohol isn't helping. I'd take a look at your diet and try to shift overall to something better for your gut.
You can't drink coffee anymore? What actuality happend? It isn't random.
It's not that I literally can't drink coffee any more, but I have to combine it with some kind of light morning exercise, moving around, etc. If I drink it while WFHing I get crazy jittery. Started pretty soon after I went to WFH. Then abstaining from coffee does other things to tolerance - e.g. drip coffee sits much worse on my stomach, and I have a strong stomach when it comes to other stuff. Can still do energy drinks, tea, etc. just fine.
May run in the family, my mum consumed heroic quantities of coffee when she was working, then one day it started giving her awful headaches and she was on decaf for two decades.
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I think this is the case. My diet is complete garbage, but I wouldn't expect it to turn my poop liquid. Thanks all for the responses. I'll have to improve what I eat I guess.
Yeah a bad diet will make your intestines more permeable in such a way that your body's more likely to dump water in there, or at least that's what I've heard the link is.
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Are you in your 30s now? Coffee never used to do that to me either, until one day at about 34.
I'm nearly 30 but not quite. Looks like I can look forward to these sorts of things accelerating.
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Learning social cues, self-perception and being in the moment (long post, slightly incoherent :) )
I noticed something interesting recently, ever since I started cold approaching, I can now read sub communications fairly well. A few days ago I saw my parents arguing where I could somehow see what they were actually trying to say vs what they were saying. It's somewhat like watching a movie with subtitles on and its in a different language. We try to hide so much whilst talking, many day-to-day habits that are unconscious copes similarly. The internet provides good feelings instantly, like a girl, its feeling, has zero net benefits but hey, we all want to feel good.
Most of my life, I sucked with girls. I used to hang out with nerdy kids since i wanted to go to a decent uni, my uni had no attractive girls at all, the guys hated doing anything besides bedrotting so I met zero girls via uni believe it or not (this is the average south indian experience btw, dont let others fool you). Many here would remember my post from 10th march 2021 on another wellness wedesnday thread where I was super upset about a girl meeting other dudes as I was stuck inside my house thanks to covid and my parents.
She was the first reactionary adjacent girl I knew. I never have met her but she lived about 5 hours away in the capital. Back then I believed in the obviously false Madonna/whore complex, wishing to just get a girlfriend who I could marry. Being around hindu twitter did not help as it only has losers, lo and behold they convinced me that pre-marital sex is bad and people doing it are unmanly. I always had these intense dantes like crushes on girls I would barely talk to. This girl saw me for a chode that I was back then. She did give me some crumbs of attention but I ended up just being super desperate and she met other guys. Which is how I learnt about cold approach.
Once I finally started cold approaching, I started liking women again. At a point I really hated them, that was because I was low status and saw no quick solutions. The day I got drunk last week, I texted a bunch of girls, including the one I met in pai. She looks ok but I just connected with her really well, first time i actually liked a girl again after my horrible oneitis situation. She did remember everything about me even how I cannot drink because I had bought concerta there though I stopped taking it before pai. "I have very few encounters, I remember you verywell" but later said "dude, what is the point, you are in India".
She was right, she could sense that I was simply texting her to get some validation or have sex, with the latter being impossible rn and the former being extremely needy. This is how I started actively paying attention to more cues and instantly saw a lot of things most people miss out on since I have done far more than most have with girls or ever will as most never approach.
I write this because I recently read parts of the tyler digest again and came across the rsd blog that has been dead for 14 years. Tyler the guy who started it had mild autism and his approach to pickup was one where you focued more on being a better person. I highly recommend you check out the tyler digest, in particular, stuff like "points of change", "the way that you percieve the world", "self limiting beliefs" etc. Seriously read the one titled "the way that you percieve the world", it is barely 3 pages. This blogpost is on the same line as that post.
The post rings true, for years I would write about my issues here on a forum that is mostly about culture war discussions. With my irl friends or the ones from far right hindu circles, I would eventually get mocked for trying to get adhd meds or being depressed but here people would appreciate me for being honest. Many would come text me that I write well despite me sounding like a lunatic half the time, or how they looked forward to reading more about my life. quite a few even added me on other platforms and helped me as much as they could. Almost all of them are happier people than the ones I used ot hang out with online, way more succesful too. This is also what I am trying to be like now.
My issues with girls existed primarily because I was not just low status but also deep down extrmely negative. My mind would find ways to tear everyone, literally everyone down so that I could feel good about myself. Unfortunately most people I meet are like that. It is rare to meet someone who is doing well and genuinely happy in a way that he/she can sense good in others. Most people think that pickup is where you go and learn a bunch of tricks and tactics to get a drunk girl to sleep with you yet this is simply untrue. Girls can sense how a guy feels, in most cases better than the can sense how is he is feeling himself because most of us lie to ourselves. The routines people crammed were just ways for them to not act like a scared person as their brains would feel calm when repeating the routine, therfore their subcommunications were not needy. Over time the person would get accustomed to positive outcomes and would shed all the routines.
Themotte does not like pickup and that is fine, in fact most suggestions I got from people here about not doing this stuff were well thought out and in good faith. I still wanted to share this article and the thought behind it. I would feel a little bad if I were to get a ton of downvotes on my commetns but that is sorta silly anyway.Now, just be happy or positive is cliched self help advice yet are we not all better off trying to appreciate things that are good instead of just trying to tear them down. Results come from actions, for years I was told to walk around the world pissed off, pissed off at my situation, at others and especially myself so that I would act yet it does the opposite. I would argue that trying to find genuine joy but still having habits that help you act in the direction you want to be in regardless might be a better way of looking at things, as at least you wont have crippling anxiety, after all what is the point of either negative or positive emotions if you are so result focued and if you simply focus on results, would being happier not help since then you will be able to work more?
I see trying to find joy in stuff as a better path towards ultimately doing more as the alternative made me feel worse. My brain always painted the past in a good light or make the distant future look good, it was finally when I took a week off after stopping work with my roommate and going to pai for a week that I felt good again. No matter how much I want to, I can only live in the now and present times are not as bad as I make them to, leaving culture war aside. My fondest memories up until then were me in high school, somehow stuck in 2016. It sounds very cheesy, I will get downvoted for wriitng another inchorenet rant but I don't want to lie about stuff. There I finally felt like life could be happy again, this sounds fucking crazy if you think about it. It was not even some high end vacation, I was living in mud huts with 4000 baht in my wallet for 7 days. My life condition was not any better as i did feel like shit once I came back and wrote updates, all my problems still existed which somehow could not prevent me from enjoying the present moment, even the little things.
A 23 or younger version of me would have tried to tear that place down, as talking about positivity and just being in the moment can be hippy talk, which it is to an extent and pai does have a ton of hippies. You can be present in the moment, work a lot and also have a positive outlook towards the world. This would seem like a cringe self help lesson to me but after experiencing some stuff and thinking about it, I would want to live this way. Ever since I started taking my meds, I can sense people around me having similar issues as I did. Most are unhappy, they lie about it and constantly seek validation and tear others down, barely get any work done and end up just sulking all day. A very sad sight, I am not above them by a lot, but I did get lucky to at least have had a bunch of unique life experiences which make me try my hardest to be that way.
The only two girls I ever liked as an adult were girls who were genuinely happy, something I was convinced was impossible up until a few days ago. They both looked good, way above average but not the kind that would make every guy drool, I met a few of those too. In ways I wanted to be like them, both were far more productive than any of my friends and somehow saw good things in me more than my friends did.
So yeah tl;dr try to look for the best in everything and be as productive as you can.
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I had my first therapy session of my adult life at 24, yesterday. My psychiatrist who precribed me concerta (36 mgs) makes me attend mandatory counselling with a psychologist in her clinic every week. I have been to told to focus on these things in particular
Besides these three things, the rest of her recommendations also outlined a schedule for me. She taught me some groudning techniques like how to walk super slowly whilst feeling your entire foot. These are to be used during breaks when I work. Apart from that "tratak meditation" where you just focus on one object (say a burning lamp) for minutes on end. I still prefer the stuff over at tantra illuminated but I will try this out. Reducing my screen time when not working to less than two hours, its hard as I am so used to getting validation from girls via texts or surfing, luckily the meds should help with this.
My hiatus from work is ending, I will finally start some basic front-end stuff for the first time in my life from tomorrow or day after, and will post updates on it. Being good at this stuff would ensure that I have a safety net of having a remote job as long as I have enough skills and know enough people. off to the gym now, I am working out with a quarter of the weights I was using before my injury on upper body lifts that are not tricep or bicep-focused. No point in rushing shoulder rehab.
yavat sthäsyanti girayah saritaś ca mahitale / tavad rāmāyaṇakatha lokeşu pracarisyati //
-The Valmiki Ramayana: Critical Edition, 1960-1975, 1.2.35
As long as the mountains and rivers shall endure upon the earth, So long will the tale of the Ramayana be told among the people.
It is Diwali on the 31st of October, most important hindu festival so most people are back in their hometowns. Somehow I dont feel that I am missing out by not interacting with people I once knew as most in my hometown or here in general refuse to think beyond their city or neighbourhood. The festival is alright, I don't have the same level of enthusiasm for it that I once had, partly because up until a few years ago I would psyche myself out with my religious identity to find some meaning in life which was clearly not good. Funny how that changed, I am still religious, its just hard to know whats true and whats not given how many scriptures are considered scriptures that are not actual scriptures. Hindus disallowed a bunch of stuff and it later got hardcoded. Vegetarianism and purity spirals against the use of nightshades, and overreliance on grains are all due to poverty which Brahmins later rationalised. Pointing this out gets me scolded so I just follow along.
Regardless, a very happy Diwali to everyone here. Do check out Goldman's translation of Valmiki Ramayana. Lord Ram lived a very depressing and tough life to uphold dharma. Diwali marks his homecoming after a 14 year exile with his wife sita. Lord Ram was born to king dasarata, into the solar dynasty or suryavansa, simialr to gautam buddha. His father had 4 sons from three wifes, one of whom claimed two boons he promised to her on the day of his coronation. This meant that he would have to live in exile like a monk for 14 years and his younger brother bharat would be coronated instead. Dasrata could not say no and dies due to grief, asking for forgiveness from Ram. His wife and one of his brothers Laxman accompany him on his exile despite him arguing against it with both. Sita gets abducted by Ravana, a being of immense power who had not lost in battle and was seen as threat by all beings, divine or mortal. Ram gathers an army of simian creatures named vanars to fight a battle against Ravan and ends up slaying him in his country of Sri Lanka. The slaying of Ravan is celebrated as vijaydashami or dusshera. Tomorrow is his homecoming.
It can be argued that it was the happiest day of his life, one of the only ones as a family man since his wife, Sita was pregnant with his twin sons, both being unaware of it at the time. She ended up exiling herself from Ayodhya, his capital sometime later after people developed a false perception that she was unfaithful despite it not being true. They lit up the entire city of Ayodhya with lamps to mark his homecoming. He could have said no to the exile or many things he saw along the way. The popular conception of the epic is that he was this immortal all-knowing deity who walked the earth without any issues but Goldman's translation of the Valmiki Ramayana states that he was a mortal, who did not know that he was Vishnu in human form, unlike Krishna.
His living descendants funnily enough still make up a good portion of the armed forces here today. Ramayana is not like the Vedas where you have hard to decipher hymns or like the Mahabharat where you have hard moral choices at time. It is the quintessential epic, you can sum it up in in a paragraph, it is not super dense. The values inside of it are the very bedrock of what the religion. His is a hero's journey that captures everything good my people once had. He is seen as the human personification of Aryan or Dharmik ideals. Most people celebrating the festival know very little about it since no one here reads scriputres, the ones who do read them unfortunately choose ones that have been edited to make them PC.
Lord Rams has unfortunately been usurped by political forces who edit out scriptures to make him seem like an anti-caste sjw since Indian demographics would hate someone like him.
We will light up some fireworks, there was a time that every Diwali I would play an Arkham game or watch an animated batman movie. Pretty fun. My mom makes kheer, Indian rice pudding which is hands down my favourite thing to eat ever.
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