domain:open.substack.com
hydroacetylene
just now
They’re from a generation where it was more normal.
hydroacetylene
1m ago
Why is this such an issue? Restrooms have stalls. I couldn't tell what gender was in one if I tried.
Because it is an issue. Normie not-very socially conservative women really care about there not being biological men in their or their daughters spaces of partial undress.
FCfromSSC
Nuclear levels of sour
3m ago
I mean I could but most of what I think of as victories I would imagine you would classify as defeats.
Why speculate when you could give it a try and find out for sure?
No amount of anger at the establishment makes the "Trump is a king and he is going to hit the make the economy good button as well as the decrease prices button" worldview any less delusional.
There are degrees of delusion, and "We can trust Elites/The System/The Science/The Acolytes of Codified Procedure to police themselves and secure good outcomes, because they've done such a good job in the past" is considerably more delusional.
Trump is in many ways a buffoon. He is winning a straight popularity contest because his opponents are arguably worse.
cjet79
5m ago
Obviously I only know what you have presented, but I can imagine a scenario where it is still possible to resurrect the relationship. In this scenario she preemptively broke up with you, because she thought you would do it instead of a long distance relationship. Or that you'd cheat on her in the long distance relationship. If she has a past personal experience with it, or close friends it has happened to this is almost certainly on her mind. If you didn't fight her much in the moment on the no-LDR thing, you probably came across as agreeing.
If you think this is the case, then this might be the path to fixing things. You'd need to have a sit down talk with her, and you'd have to put yourself out there:
- Say that being around her and not having a relationship hurts. Ask for a serious sit down talk.
- Say that you love her and want to stay with her even in a long distance relationship.
- Offer to travel to help the long distance relationship. Or think about taking a vacation there in the middle of her away time.
You will come across as desperate, and that is fine. It is ok to be desperate around a woman who knows and loves you, especially if that desperation is for her. You need to create the reassurance in her mind that you won't hurt her, and that the only one doing the hurting is her to you and herself.
If she does take you back, know that the relationship will start to feel different. This is not a bad thing. You were in a honeymoon phase of love. Its a time mother nature gives people to make sure they are fucking a bunch and having a kid to tie them together. But the next phase to make it work together is partnership. You need to be a team together. People do this by moving in together, getting a pet together, working on a project together. My wife and I sort of started at this phase because we met at work and already know how to work as a team together. But you two already have a project ahead of you that you can work on: keeping the love and affection alive during a long distance relationship.
I will again repeat that I don't know everything about your situation and my read on it may be totally off. I do think that your assumption that she found another guy is almost certainly wrong. If she is the cold-hearted bitch that would have strung you along like that and seemed so loving, then she wouldn't have broken up with you. She would have just proceeded to cheat on you and not have a bit of guilt about it. My experience and the experience's I've seen other people have with psycho types is that they tend to not try for true breakups with people. Because relationships are one-way streets with them. They are not held back by the terms of the relationship, only their non-psycho partners are held back. I do remember a case somewhat similar to yours where the psycho boyfriend moved away for a three month gig, and did not inform his girlfriend till the day he was leaving. And then immediately went on to cheat in the other city while claiming to do a faithful LDR.
Dig up your old feelings of love for this woman. There is a decent to good chance that she made a decision in fear and uncertainty and with a desire to avoid being hurt. It might be a decision that she regrets. If you still want to have a relationship with her there is probably a path to that working out. If you want things to be over and done with, commit to that path and fully block her.
hydroacetylene
6m ago
Is 98% of the same outcome not a solution? It’s a solution that comes down hard on one side, but a solution nonetheless.
MartianNight
7m ago
Why is this such an issue? Restrooms have stalls. I couldn't tell what gender was in one if I tried.
This is a fully-general argument against having women's bathrooms at all. Which is fine if you want to argue for unisex bathrooms, but it's not an argument for keeping bathrooms nominally segregated while letting males into the women's bathroom.
MotteInTheEye
9m ago
It does require a separate app install on mobile though, right?
SubstackNecron
15m ago
I mean I could but most of what I think of as victories I would imagine you would classify as defeats. The truth is it doesn't matter as more that one person can be wrong at once and as a great man once said "facts don't care about your feelings". No amount of anger at the establishment makes the "Trump is a king and he is going to hit the make the economy good button as well as the decrease prices button" worldview any less delusional.
hydroacetylene
17m ago
Uh, normie Twitter is very much a thing. Sports and pop culture and local news that isn’t about politics is pretty easy to come by.
SophisticatedHillbilly
23m ago
I think the answer there hinges on whether you’d vote for a pro-abortion anti-Griggs candidate or an anti-abortion pro-Griggs candidate if they were head-to-head.
netstack
Texas is freedom land
32m ago
That’s still unworkable because you can’t separate outside knowledge.
If you’re sentencing someone to women’s prison, do you really rely on passing? If I’ve got a vendetta against a trans coworker, can’t I out her no matter how well she passes? If my buddy Big McLargeHuge, manliest of teenagers, wants to get into the women’s locker room, what’s stopping me from playing wingman by accusing him of insufficient T?
Rov_Scam
33m ago
The advantage of Facebook messenger is that it allows you to send private messages to people you either don't know or don't know well enough to have their phone number, enhanced by the fact that the large user base makes it pretty easy to find people. This was at least the case ten years ago when practically everyone of a certain age was on Facebook and used it regularly, and when you'd get a friend request from practically everyone you met. Now it seems like most people, especially younger people, either don't have profiles or don't look at them. I seldom look at mine, and it seems like most of my friends who used to post frequently have slowed down over the past several years. So these days it doesn't work as well as it used to because there's less likelihood that you'll even be able to find someone on Facebook, and even if you can there's a decent chance they won't see the message.
SMS is horrible for group messaging. You can't take yourself out of a group, and you can't edit the recipients without starting a whole new message. You also can't type longer messages efficiently since you don't have a real keyboard. It's fine for certain things but ongoing group texts about nothing in particular should really be on another app. I was able to switch a couple of mine over to Discord and it's been a 100% improvement. I'd like to get my ski group on there but that's going to be a tough sell.
aardvark2
33m ago
He died before conquest of China was even completed and his grandsons were mediocrities. He probably would if he had twice more DALY. If anything, the empire continying to expand for decades after his death (unlike Alexander's) is quite an accomplishment.
ThisIsSin
The boob tube emits harmful XXX-rays
39m ago
Well, it’s certainly a shared moral foundation among traditionalists (anti-trans) and progressives (pro-trans), to the point that “man bad woman good” is the root of both positions. Liberals don’t do this as much, but they have their own problems and aren’t as dominant as they once were.
The fact this is maladaptive and contrary to reality (for traditionalists, bad TFR means women are shirking their duties; for progressives, they’re just being turbo-selfish about equity since if their ideas were applied correctly they’d lose all social license) doesn’t generally enter the picture for either one. That said, it’s only been 100ish years since that came true and humanity has evolved in the natural state for 3 orders of magnitude more time, and old habits/instincts die hard.
SkoomaDentist
40m ago
Known better as just the messages tab om facebook. Which a lot of people my age use. Also works seamlessly on laptop & tablets unlike sms or whatsapp.
But really the #1 killer feature of FB messages is that they’re tied to your name, not to your arbitrary phone number. Want to send someone a message? Just send one. No need to try to hunt their phone number.
FCfromSSC
Nuclear levels of sour
51m ago
It is. The rest of the game is just absurdly good, and I'm confident they'll iron this part out in short order in any case. I've made it to Vulcanus, and am figuring out the smelting system in preparation to World War Worm. It's amazing how much better things have gotten from what I previously would have sworn was the perfect game.
cjet79
51m ago
Resurrecting an old discussion?
I think I said all that is necessary at the time.
07mk
55m ago
Heck, I'm middle aged but not quite at that age yet, and I'm pretty much 99% of the way there. The older I've gotten, the more I've realized that there's just no good reason to care about how other people perceive my body outside of a certain small subset of cases. Certainly not when they're strangers who are males in a locker room or other communal changing space. If other people dislike the sight of certain parts of my body, first of all, I empathize, but second, that's their problem, not mine. If the sight of my junk displeases them, I'm not going to lift a finger to help them solve their displeasure; I've got enough of my own to take care of, thank you.
This whole problem with being or viewing same-sex nudity in these kinds of contexts seemed pretty strange and somewhat arbitrary to me when I immigrated from Korea to America at the age of 6, and it took me some effort to adapt to it. In Korea, already by the age of 6, I was accustomed to going to public bath houses where men and boys (and, I presume women and girls as well, in their own half) of all ages would just freely walk around with everything out and minimal effort to cover anything up.
faceh
57m ago
I have come to despise the proliferation of messaging apps with slightly different functionality, and each one tries to justify itself somewhat differently but end of the day the features anyone cares about are identical.
"Meta" missed a huge chance to live up to their name and build up interoperability with every major messaging app so that Facebook users could end up having a single account on one app that allows them to chat with everyone on every other app through one interface.
sun_the_second
1hr ago
That just sounds like an implication you're a gangster who isn't afraid of cops and likely has a blood feud with one, to me.
ControlsFreak
1hr ago
Facebook messenger? That sounds like some niche service that you want me to get to contact you. Don't you have, like, SMS on your phone?
Hoffmeister25
American Bukelismo Enthusiast
1hr ago
If a man can successfully pass as a woman then he should be allowed to use women's restroom, although it seems like saying we "allow" that is pretty meaningless in that case. If we can't tell that it's a man how could we stop him?
The problem here is that the percentage of MtF who “pass” is vanishingly low. It’s nearly always spectacularly easy to “clock” an MtF - especially once you hear the voice.
I’m actually agnostic about so-called “bathroom bills” myself, but however we end up resolving the issue, “an MtF can enter the women’s bathroom if nobody notices it’s an MtF” is not a solution, because it will lead to 98% of the same outcome as “no man can enter the women’s bathroom.”
Do you have any recommendations for finding good hobby discords for, I dunno, underwater basket weaving? I see a decent number of active Facebook groups for such things, but Discord seems to have poor discoverability.
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