The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Any good homeschooling resources that TheMotte would recommend?
I want to start homeschooling my two elementary school aged kids from this year (one is early elementary, the other late elementary). What are some good resources for learning at home? I'm interested in online tools (Khan Academy, stuff like that) but also premade programs and curricula, mail order/correspondence programs, anything like that. Also, any resources on being an effective homeschool teacher without formal training in education.
I want to teach the usual basics skills, but I'd also like to teach formal logic, Latin, computer skills/coding, and handwriting.
I think there was also a recent thread about homeschooling experiences on here... I'll have to dig that up as well.
I remember doing Sing, Spell, Read, and Write, and it worked well -- I still remember several of the songs -- but don't know what an updated version might be. We did Saxon math, for some value of "doing," but I much prefer Khan Academy. Some school districts have an official Homeschool Liaison, who will recommend something. Also, kids can often take electives at their local public school for free or very cheap. I took swimming, and was no good at it, but it was a positive experience.
This is the absolute last thing you should worry about. Don't bother even thinking about this at all. I have a degree in education, and education courses are entirely useless for homeschooling. They don't really teach classroom management, but if they were going to teach a useful skill, it would probably be that one. There was an entire semester long class about teaching philosophies, where we would look at a teaching philosophy, such as the one with an ideal tutor following an ideal child around and making everything a learning opportunity for him, and would invariably conclude each time "but we're training to be public school teachers, so while interesting, this has pretty much nothing to do with us." There was an entire semester long class on specific educational acronyms. We learned to think-pair-share 28 times. None of it would be useful to you at all.
How do the kids feel about the change?
Thanks, this is encouraging.
They are excited about it because they'll get to focus more on the things that they enjoy, but as young children they probably don't fully grasp it. Do you have any advice how to make the transition smooth? It will likely be accompanied by a move.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Check out this pdf by the Mathacademy called the Mathacademy way, very thorough document they themselves use, also get a subscription for jr once the kids are old enough, will sort all your math needs.
More options
Context Copy link
If your kids are smart(I assume they are) and want to learn Latin, they should be able to work through a unit a week of Lingua Latina per se Illustrata with the accompanying primer, assuming there's a tutor to keep them on track and assign homework(yes, homework is mandatory for learning a foreign language). Latin tutors are (relatively)cheap and you can get them from any university with a classics department.
LLPSI is pretty intense for an elementary schooler. There's much better material for young learners. Minecraftium is a youtube playlist of a Latin teacher playing minecraft while talking latin, and is a good example of something in the same "natural" style but geared for the younger audience. It's not a complete course by itself, but there's lots of other similar material out there.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
My memory of what books I used is pretty foggy, especially so for early stuff...but Abeka books were the main resource my mom used for writing/grammar/early math I believe. Saxon math for later stuff. We were going at it without internet though, and I think Khan academy is already going to a better job for a lot of stuff. Both Christian based resources, from what little I've researched there are equivalent secular curricula floating about but it has been a while since I've looked.
You should check out Lingua Latina per se illustrata for Latin. Very cool way to learn the language IMO, although online it seems to be a battle between this method and traditional grammar texts. Seems like it would be perfect for kids.
Thanks. I'm especially interested in the textbook series, it looks more interesting and serious than others I've seen, like the Minimus series.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I apologize in advance because what I'm about to say isn't what you asked for but I think it's important to comment.
Independent of how good of an idea homeschooling was in the past, I think it is going to become a much worse idea in the future.
One of the joys of my job is that I get to see every single slice of the population and something I've noticed is that young people are nervous wrecks theses days (especially post-COVID)...this is known - but also that a lot of home schooled kids are a lot worse.
I suspect this is due to decreasing opportunities for independence and socialization and regular school is one of the last bastions of that. This trend will likely continue to worsen as people spend more time online and less time touching grass.
I'm sure the research will catch up at some point, as it has with social media and COVID pauses, but at that point some people's lives will still be fucked.
There are plenty of reasons to avoid traditional school (safety, poor quality, woke bullshit) but the benefit is probably worth it and if you are going to home school you'll need to dig out chances for your kid(s) to socialize adequately.
Yes, this is key. We're hoping to have them out of the house doing something with other kids their age at least 3-4 times per week, plus playdates, playing in the park, etc. One of the two is very outgoing, so we're already thinking about how we're going to handle this and looking for homeschooling groups and activities that are not tied to schools. We very much want to avoid the "house arrest" model of homeschooling.
Have you ever heard of "homeschooling pods"? I think getting into one of those would be one of the easiest ways to get pretty much all of the benefits of public schooling's socializing your kids.
I hadn't heard the specific term, but that is exactly the sort of cohesive group I was hoping to find. Thanks for the tip!
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Sounds like you've thought a bunch about this!
Were you home schooled? Personally I feel like I'd have missed out on all of the activities and dumb stuff of school if I skipped it, but that doesn't mean that is the "only right way."
key thing is being involved other ways - church, neighborhood two huge ones that are admittedly probably harder than they used to be. Once you hit high school might be worth starting to get more involved - taking some AP classes, dual enrollment at local college, and highly highly recommend music and athletic extra curriculars.
More options
Context Copy link
I wasn't, but I think I might have liked it. Probably like a lot of people on here, I enjoyed reading almost anything as a kid, from children's fiction to reference books and encyclopedias, and I always wished I had more time for that (well, that and PC gaming). I also used to write and draw for fun, but my enthusiasm fizzled by the time I finished middle school. I think I would kept them up had I learned how to properly draw or had a chance to write about the things I was interested in (history, fantasy, adventure) instead of analyzing e e cummings poetry or whatever.
I'm still a bit worried about their ability to make and maintain friendships without school, though. Friendships happen when you have forced repeated contact and shared experiences, and I've heard that some homeschooling circles have a constant flow of people coming in and out (but I guess some schools do too). We will have a good family friendly neighborhood and a nearby church, so that might help. Sports will probably be important for this as well.
Yeah this will help a lot.
So many people are maladjusted now and have no or few friends and I cannot imagine how much harder it is for the young. Like it's hard enough to find a GF for functional wealthy adults now.
A freshmen in high school? Yikes. And home schooling might be much, much worse.
However it seems very clear you are actively thinking about what you are doing and what the plan is and aware of limitations - fantastic prognostic indicator.
Since it seems like you've thought about this quite a bit as well -- any particular sports you'd recommend for building camaraderie? Any specific recommendations for boys or girls? I assume that team sports that require cooperation and some leadership (soccer, football, etc) are better for boys than individual(?) sports (tennis, martial arts, rock climbing). I have no idea what would be beneficial for girls.
Please don't think I'm some kind of expert on this, I'm not haha, but I do have some thoughts given your question.
The tricky part is that socioeconomic class, finances/resources and location are so so important (did I see something elsewhere about you living in Japan? I know fuck all about that).
That said the most important thing is that sports and exercise are like diets. The most important criteria is that you actually do it and can stick with it. Team sports are obviously better for what we are talking about but if your kid will only do tennis you'd rather them have some interaction with others and healthy lifestyle habits than just play Fortnite the whole time.
So - listen to your kid you can try and convince them to some extent but it is better to work with what you got.
Something else is that kids often end up following their parents or very very much not. If you have some sport you play your kid may try follow you in it (regardless if it's helpful for what we are discussing). They also may absolutely hate it and run into the opposite direction (again, listen to the signals you get from the kids). This can be very confusing when 2 kids absolutely fucking love the parent's sport and the third fucking hates it. I have nephews like this it is hilarious for everyone except their parents.
Another thing is to look for stuff that fills multiple roles. Are you upper-PMC and belong to a country club? Get your kid involved in a country club sport so they make connections as you make connections! This doesn't have to be business, the after school soccer league may get you in touch with people in your neighborhood for playdates, just being friends and other crap like that. If something speaks to you on this front, try that, if you have benefits that increases engagement.
Speaking of which, you may be the kind of person who likes the things your kids like because they are your kids. You might need a leg up. If you fucking love basketball, try basketball - you being excited about the games, wanting to go to the games, and paying attention at the games...all these things will help with secure attachment.
Your kid will know if you consider going to events painful, and that one dad paying shit attention makes everyone uncomfortable.
Okay specifics. Teams sports are probably better until/unless your kid has something resembling specific preferences, especially for home schooled kids -meeting people (and a variety of them) working together, all that bullshit. I'm reminded of an 80s cocaine Goldman anecdote about hiring managers tossing out all the resumes without team sports backgrounds because "he wasn't a team player."
Personally I did football and martial arts as a kid. The former was great for social development, I'm just as nerdy as you'd expect from a poster here but I'm entirely capable of making my patients forget that. You'd be amazed at home much mileage you can get out of laughing at the Bears with someone you have zero commonality with. The other big American sports are good for this just not as potent. Martial arts teach personal discipline in the most condensed way and still have some social elements. Unlike football it's easy to find classes. No idea how you would pull that off for football. And no I don't have braaaaaaaaaaaaaain dammmmg.
For girls I still think team sports are the way.
My female relatives did some combination of Volleyball, Basketball, Field Hockey, and Soccer. The last I think might work best for you. Travel Soccer can be expensive but it's cosmopolitan in a way that might appeal to Motte tastes and can get some experiences like sending your kid to Europe with a bunch of other girls to see some shit, get some experience, and so on.
Can also be adjusted a little bit up and down depending on time and financial resources and it is a little lower on physical risk than some of the options (and also can attract a higher class crowd than some of the other options).
Anyway, this got long.
Number one piece of advice is obvious and basic but worth repeating - don't cram a square peg into a round hole. Use what's available, what matches your resources and interests (and also your kids!). The best diet, the best exercise, the best lifestyle change - is the one you will do, consistently. Stick with sustainable.
And don't get too mad if your kid is a hopeless nerd and not about it. There's sometimes stuff you can do (and also a time to give up).
You will also note that a lot of parents will try and use sports as a way to get a leg up on college admissions. This isn't a bad idea or anything. I've seen tons of people leverage something like a fencing or tennis background into an Ivy League, but if you are going the home school route the socializing aspect of team sports probably outweighs those benefits (and if they have the genetic potential over the average SSC reader than they'll probably smoke the coursework anyway).
More options
Context Copy link
Girls should do rock climbing if it's available. It's co ed until the very highest levels.
Boys should do at least one thing very directly competitive that will hold them to account.
More options
Context Copy link
Are there any sports club near you? I am much more confident on my ability to homeschool my eventual kids because I know they can get pretty much all their socializing from our club. It also doesn't lock you into a sport they don't enjoy, they can drift into the one that interests them.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Homeschoolers IME(and I know a lot of homeschoolers) go one way or another. There are plenty of homeschoolers who are ready to be functional adults, not nervous at all, mentally healthy and well rounded... at 16. There are also homeschoolers who are the opposite of that at 25. There is much less in between.
Do not go it alone when homeschooling. Do not delay normal developmental milestones, even if you think there's a good reason for it. If you are homeschooling a boy, he needs to be working for a non-family member and in sports the whole time(girls can usually handle most of the things these accomplish for themselves if allowed to). Shelter a level less than you think you need to.
More options
Context Copy link
This was always the case. If you're going to homeschool, you have to make sure you socialize your kids in other ways. When I was growing up, my parents did that through groups with other homeschoolers, through church, and through other youth activities (scouts, 4-H, etc). I don't think that it's worse than before or anything, I think that this was just something you always had to do if you were going to homeschool your kids.
I agree it was always important but my fear is that it is going to be increasingly harder to do. :/
I see... I misunderstood your comment.
I don't know how clear I was - what I see oncoming is an increase in anxiety disorders (for instance) and that will likely be way worse for homeschooled for non-home schooled (but both will be bad).
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
The thread in question (including my contribution)
Thank you!
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link