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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   2211 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for July 24, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

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I met a girl at a party. She laughed at my stupid jokes and said I looked like an actor, and she didn't even qualify "actor" with "character."

So obviously she's ignoring the message I sent her. Why are women like this?

That sucks bro. Being single sounds awful.

Don't worry about it. Not all women are, some are but not all the time. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry if this is a weak or unhelpful take but I feel like I have to say something because every time this type question is posed here there are multiple dudes-who-have-been-burned-by-women who make all sorts of generalized dismissive comments and I want to balance these out. Keep crossing those state lines and put it out of your mind. (And don't message her again.)

She could tell that you had never undertaken the Hock. Women can smell non-Hockers from a mile away. You need to strap on your boots and get to Alaska post-haste.

I'm pretty sure the reason only 40% of men reproduced historically is because it was so difficult to get to Alaska before planes were invented.

Its fine, you probably need to provide more comfort to girls before you end the interaction. I do not know why that works but whenever I can make myself look more relatable at the ed of the conversation (never the beginning or the middle), I seem to have no issues with texting them.

Still, you should meet more, good luck!

It's a numbers game. That's the bitter truth of it, unless you're maybe in the top 1% of men.

The answers below seem to capture the broad spectrum of possible reasons, including the most cynical (and cynicism isn't entirely uncalled for when it comes to dating). So my advice to you is to simply not dwell on it, mainly by reminding yourself there's plenty of other fish in the sea.

At least you're doing the right thing by meeting people in person, at events where there's room to socialize, it's far worse when you're merely another face and profile online. Talking to people face to face at least ensures you're the center of attention and makes them more willing to treat you like a human being, and eventually, it'll stick.

are you uglier than her or about the same or is she uglier than you? also how tall are you and do you have good hygiene?

Outside of the cynical takes you'll get by asking this online, there's four options that seem to be likely.

  1. Girls in their prime are often woefully ignorant of the assymetry in the dating market and she doesn't understand (or care, if you want to be cynical) how much more meaningful the attention she gave you was to you than it was to her. To her it was playful, and maybe an option she could explore later if other plans fall through, no harm done.

  2. She was interested but your message came off too desperate. Many such cases.

  3. She's interested but just hasn't come around to answer you. Of course, if she was really completely captivated she assuredly wouldn't forget or deprioritize answering you, but again girls in their prime are often unaware of the assymetry and to her an interesting prospect that's interested in her is a regular occurence so it doesn't feel as urgent to grasp it.

  4. She's playing games/trying "tactics". Of course average guys know the only tactic that women need to maximize getting our attention is "just be nice to us", but the advice women get from peers and media is just as disfunctional as the one men get.

Just because I'm a pedant, I believe it's asymmetry, though your spelling is much more entertaining.

Yeah, english's not my first language and there's some words like that where the right spelling just doesn't seem to stick.

What message did you send? How long has it been?

Yeah it is what it is. Out of all the Red Pill advice out there, the one that's most valuable is "abundance mentality". It's trivial to keep relationships going and get things started when you have 2-6 options, but I feel like women can smell when you're only talking to them and not in an exclusive relationship.

You can synthesize the right amount of communication delays for yourself by being busy as fuck with other stuff, but it's best to be talking to multiple women at a time. Godspeed.

You should have made plans with her at the party. Then instead of ignoring your message, she'd text you to tell you she needs to wash her dog and her hair ate her homework.

Yeah, the only real flake/ghost-prevention tactic is to bang her, so that she’s pot-committed and has skin in the game.

Otherwise, as you note, it’s highly likely you’ll get radio silence, or tortured with excuses like she has to wash her dog, her hair ate her homework, she left her grandma uncharged, her phone got sick and she had to take it to the hospital.

Although, in fairness to many a young woman, her phone getting incapacitated such that she’s unable to take and upload selfies is indeed an urgent care/emergency room-level event for her.

Some possibilities:

1. She wasn’t all that into you, but deigned to let you monkey-dance and court-jester for her to satisfy her need for attention.

2. You were just one of many guys that night she let monkey-dance and court-jester for her. She wasn’t yours, it was just your turn (to amuse her).

3. You were just one of many guys in her lifetime career at parties she has let monkey-dance and court-jester for her. For you, the day she graced you with her existence was one of the more important nights of your life. But for her, it was Tuesday.

4. She enjoys being a tease, leading guys on, and then rejecting/ignoring/ghosting/flaking upon them for fun (many such cases). Your torment is her amusement.

5. She was actually into you, but like most chicks she’s fickle. You didn’t strike while the iron was hot by banging her that night, and now the opportunity’s gone.

6. A shinier object appeared: Later that night some other guy chatted her up who she liked more.

7. Whether it be a pre-existing FWB or a new guy she met, some other guy banged her in between when you met her and when you sent your message, dicking away (possibly that very night) her emotions and memory of having met you.

8. She has since gotten many likes/comments/messages on Tinder/Instagram/SnapChat/etc. to fill her need for attention, fading away her emotions and memory of having met you.

9. Some or many of those messages she received were from Chaddier guys than you, even if they’re out of her league and are just fishing for a pump and dump, pushing you down her tier-list and fading away her emotions and memory of having met you.

10. You’re now just one of many orbiters texting her; your message was another bucket of water thrown into the ocean. Her reaction upon seeing your message, if she bothered to read it at all:

You: hey its me, ur SerialStateLineXer, the actor from the other night

Her: I don’t even know who you are

11. She’s really into you, you’re the only guy she’s talked to recently, and this could be the start of a beautiful relationship, but she’s legitimately busy with work, school, or one of her many interesting hobbies and just hasn’t had the chance to—elohel, just kidding.

12. A combination of some or all of the above.

Seems like she enjoyed your company but doesn't want to go on a date (assuming that's what you texted her about). That may only have become clear now of course, but often you only find out once you try.

You may as well ask why the sea is blue and why the stars don't fall out of the sky.

The latter two have significantly easier to understand answers.

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