The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Masturbation
More options
Context Copy link
Unfulfilled libido, while distracting, is actually helpful in terms of augmenting male drive and motivation. It adds a certain dynamism and vigor to your tasks. The downside is the distraction, but there's a balance to be had in there. There is nothing shameful about masturbation, and the risks involved in chemically messing with your sex drive (and downstream effects on general motivation) just aren't worth it in my view.
Within reason.
"Ballpark six to eight?"
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Why on earth would you want to do that? It's one of the best parts of being a man!
I've seen this request multiple times over many years. Libido is basically seen as a distraction for a certain type of guy (autistic/hyper focused) and just another problem to be solved for maximum lifestyle efficiency.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
No safe way around it. You can jack off regularly to reduce the effects of male urges but any other treatment is you messing your hormones which isn't good.
Perhaps mindfulness and you being around more sexually arousing things may dessensitize you.
More options
Context Copy link
May I ask why?
The causality arrow is not unidirectional.
Your desire for sex will increase your odds of a good-paying job, house, muscles, etc... It will especially increase your odds of meeting women.
Maybe instead of looking to decrease libido you should try to increase it? Despite the messaging, men and women both prefer men who have strong agency. This is deeply tied in with sexual libido.
In the mean time try to get over your shame at masturbation. But curb your porn use if you feel yourself getting addicted.
More options
Context Copy link
This is a tale as old as time and saltpeter. Your reasoning is sound I suppose (get rid of the urge then I can focus on being a chad) but only if the world worked in considerably more simple ways. Start messing around with hormones and you dance with the devil, and, to quote Joaquin Phoenix in 8mm, "When you dance with the devil the devil don't change. The devil changes you."
You won't magically switch off the sex urge and then still have the same vigor. The surging testosterone is meant to man you up, to use a well-worn, much-maligned, and favorite phrase. So use it.
A good-paying job and a house and muscles don't just turn up at a certain age. You have to work consistently and tirelessly. There are many, many resources (more than in the History of the world) to help you toward one or all of these goals. Self-castration (even if chemical) seems an ass backwards strategy.
Don't get me wrong. I do not look back with warm nostalgia on my days as an 18-yr old who thought about sex nearly constantly (I really should have put more effort into swimming). And the slow lessening of libido as I get older is not entirely unwelcome (lessening, but by no means eradication). But that's the natural course of life in a way.
More options
Context Copy link
How is it a waste? You should use that energy and drive to improve yourself so that you can attract a mate. Killing it seems counterproductive as it would likely passify you further.
More options
Context Copy link
Just FYI, even if you succeed in killing your sex drive, you'll still like and desire girls.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
SSRIs
More options
Context Copy link
Fasting will do it.
More options
Context Copy link