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PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2494 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 9, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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As is typical for any male who spent a large part of their youth trying to maximise their success with girls, I'm no stranger to bad romantic advice. That said, I don't think I've ever come across a suggestion quite as bizarre as that given in this tweet:

Since #TamponTim is trending I'll point out that in high school, any boy who casually was like "Oh you got ur period? I stashed a pad from the bathroom in my backpack in case one of my friends needed it" -- that boy would be king stud. That boy would be drowning in prom invites.

Reponses ranged from the incredulous, to the half-heartedly supportive, to the hilarious, to those advising young men that really, this isn't a good idea.

Still, I had a good laugh, and it made me curious as to what are the worst romantic ideas that other people here have received or seen. Anyone got anything more extreme than this one?

This tweet was also discussed in the CW thread.

My bad, I missed that!

This is sabotage. I literally can't wrap my head.

There was a weird local fad Senior Year of High School (thankfully just before social media took off, so it stayed contained) where dudes would get down on one knee to ask their dates to prom. Just seemed way too over the top and kind of histrionic.

Luckily I was really cool and took my friend's sister (who was in college) to prom and it totally wasn't a pity date.

She got us liquor. 10/10 would be a dork again.

These "promposals" are still happening, especially in the age of social media. They're as elaborate and cringe-worthy as you'd expect.

In the heyday of the feminist wars, there's been a ton of advice about continuous consent. Nothing makes romantic partners clamp up faster than a "Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

I still have seared into my memory the annoyed "ugh, c'mon, just do it" from every single virginity experience after I did my last confirmation. It was just a dumb movie trope that I couldn't let go of.

Imploring men to be emotionally vulnerable is also extremely counter-productive. There's a tiny minority who take stoicism too far in their long-term relationships, but it's largely a solved problem from millennials onward. There are far too many whiners, as a rule, and the number of relationships you can instantly torpedo with emotional texting is significant.

Nothing makes romantic partners clamp up faster than a "Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

How about a "is that... Gulps... your pussy..."?

"Can I kiss here? Can I touch here? Can I do this......" over and over again.

The best response to this was George Will.

(Paraphrasing) "These are instructions for sex written by people who have never had sex and want to keep it that way."

If I change the meta so no one ever gets laid, I look normal by comparison!

All this advice written by well meaning men and women for respectful fully informed consent requiring communication somehow less sexy than signing a performance contract, and yet all the smut women read is full on bestiality rape cuck stuff. Its fucking hilarious how the hest selling gacha game for women features universally good looking prettyboys with chiseled abs that repeatedly state their intent to violate any concept of consent if the MC keeps up with her antics. Guys will hornypost on main but the subreddit for that game makes gooners seem normal.

What game is that?

Its a gacha game called Love And Deepspace (abbreviated as LADS). Shot to 2nd place in gacha monthly earnings (est 40m USD) last month, which is enormous for a girl-focused husbando collector.

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money, when men are clearly the ones wasting thousands on glorified jpeg waifus in fairly mid games, and LADS hardly has a significantly better gameplay loop, and it turns out girl games just needed something that shamelessly catered to their preferences. Which, as far as I can tell, is 'six packed prettyboys with oversized bulges and permanent pouts'.

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money

The US Bureau of Labor Statistics can answer that question with its Consumer Expenditure Survey and Time Use Survey. For example:

  • Dollars spent per year in the 2021–2022 period on "toys, hobbies, and playground equipment": 69 for single men, 94 for single women (for dollars spent on "pets", it's 282 vs. 647)

  • Hours spent per day in 2023 on "playing games": 0.50 for men, 0.24 for women

I keep wondering what women do with their time and money

There's an interesting column called 'money diaries' where PMC women post their spending. My wife has sent me a few of them and you're more likely to see avocado toast and conspicuous consumption than gacha games.

From the biggest link on that page:

Therapy: $600 (I pay out of pocket $200 a session, which is steep, but I’ve been working with this therapist for years and I love her)

Do you worry about money now?

Yes, because I have an anxiety disorder and am currently not working but I know that I am incredibly lucky and much more financially stable than many of my peers. I am on my second week of two months of unpaid leave from my job. I have been experiencing burnout and depression for the past six-plus months and so was saving as much as I could to take this step. I am also receiving a stipend from the state of Colorado for this leave, which is awesome and unexpected, and has alleviated my immediate spending concerns a bit. But I’m unsure what will happen after my two months’ leave is up. While I’m excited for the possibility of a new job/career/life course, I’m also bracing myself for financial instability and to cut down on my spending as much as possible.

Jesus Christ, the state of Colorado is subsidising this lady to pay $600 a month to a therapist to not help her fix her problems after years so she can not work?

I swear, neurotic people are utility monsters. And I say this as a neurotic person myself.

Though my favorite part is this:

I realized in college just how privileged I am. I hope to take this privilege and do good with it as long as I live.

I hate to say this, but I'm not sure she's off to a good start.

I think “can I kiss you” can be hot, but I’m probably a loser.

As a culmination of a date where the line had plenty of opportunity to be crossed but either party pulled back to continue dialing up the vibe, sure. I don't think the modern dating meta has any players sufficiently skilled in social cue generation and exploitation to perform such a game. There weren't that many in the past either, but media actually showed such concepts existing. Watching Sex Education made me fear for the dating prospects of my kids.

Worlds of difference between:

You're on a late night walk, after a few drinks, fingers touching. The conversation is fantastic, the heat of the day has been replaced by cool breezes, and you step between puddles of light on the silent street. Your fingers grip theirs more tightly, and the steps stop - they turn, look, and smile questioningly. "Can I kiss you?"

and a train of constant checking about every single individual sex act, no matter how innocuous.

I know a group of 3 people who met at my wedding and literally "continuously consented" their way into falling asleep from exhaustion before fully consummating their threesome. I've heard dozens of horror stories from women and men wondering what they did to fuck it up. Exasperating.

TL;DR: You're not wrong at all, but it can absolutely be taken too far.

wondering what they did to fuck it up

They took sex advice from the Junior Anti-Sex League, what did they think was going to happen?

Their only mistake was not recognizing the source of the advice. Which is unfortunate, but also the way it goes.

That's not quite what he was describing though, and he's not exaggerating. There's some vintage footage of a debate panel featuring Christopher Hitchens and Naomi Wolf (I think), where she was literally arguing for that.

It's hard to believe it isn't satire. It looks like an opening to a Shane Gillis bit.

I am just trying to imagine any man ever doing it... literally they would be so utterly ridiculed - by women, and only then by other men. It's as if some progressive alien tried to give out romantic advice to humans.

I can see it working under extremely specific circumstances, but so rare that to carry around feminine hygiene products at all times on the offchance of it creating an opportunity to hit up a lady is utterly irrational.

Seriously, you could make a better opening by pissing yourself in front of her. No girl wants to publicly acknowledge her period, at least peeing your pants allows you to use self-deprecating humor.

The best case scenario otherwise is that you become 'that' friend who is kept around because he's exploitable and desperate and is so far from a possible romantic interest he may as well be a eunuch.

at least peeing your pants allows you to use self-deprecating humor.

Or you match straight out of the gate on a pissing kink.

That's like a rookie hitting a grand slam their first at bat.

Trot around the bases and enjoy yourself, kid.

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