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PaperclipPerfector  1d ago (text post)   1173 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for December 27, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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People of the Motte, I am getting married one week from tomorrow. AMA, I guess. And thanks to everyone for many years of life advice. I've been lurking since the days of /r/slatestarcodex, and I genuinely think that the things I've learned from some of you have helped me reach this happy juncture.

Also - any tips to make the wedding day go smoothly, as well as the first few weeks or months of married life? It's just a small wedding we're having - 50-60 people and a reception at the banquet hall down the street. All less than 15 minutes from home.

Congratulations!

Congratulations!

And thanks to everyone for many years of life advice.

What were some of the best things you learned?

a small wedding we're having

50-60 people

We had eight people at our wedding, including us.

At my get-married-in-a-hurry-to-secure-immigration-status wedding we had about this many.

At my wedding about a year later in China it was about 400. This is a typical size.

I'll be aiming for this if, and when I get there.

Cool?

Nice. My dream wedding would be three people. The main squeeze, me, and the judge/clerk/bureaucrat/blankface providing the signature.

I envy you. Even now, this is the smallest wedding of anyone that I personally know.

I utilized the principle of only inviting the people close enough to me, that they would be hurt if they were not invited. I suppose I am grateful that that sphere has as many people as it does.

Congratulations! I've always really liked our past interactions, so I'm glad things are going well for you.

AMA, I guess.

Does she know about this place?

She doesn't - which is interesting, right? I do regularly bring up things I read about here, as "something I read about online," and we have great discussions as a result. But she's not the kind of person who gets gratification from reading tens of thousands of words of political and cultural discussion online all day; which is only fair enough. In fact, I'm not sure I have ever known anyone in real life about whom I've thought, "This person could be a Mottizen." It's strange to even think about how any of us came to this point - how many years' worth of obscure blog posts you have to read to know what some of our posters are even talking about.

Anyway - I'm not certain it would be a good thing for two Mottizens to date. (Has it ever happened that we know of?) I don't comment much in the real Culture War thread, not because I don't have opinions, but because I try to keep the culture war itself at arm's length if I can. If she were on here too, it would take over my life even more than it already has. Instead, with her, I can touch grass.

You wouldn't want her to anyway :) We are all each other's men with aspergers.

I wish you a happy and successful marriage. I joined themotte for non culture war reasons and got actual life changing advice about dating stuff so I have a lot of appreciation for people here.

How old are you, how'd youeet your wife and how many kids do you plan on having? What advice in particular did you get here that helped you out the most with marriage/relationship stuff?

What motivated your joining?

Slatestarcodex, I discovered it via Brian Caplan as I was googling Marxist economists to dunk on them, I realised that Scott was a psychiatrist and wrote a post crying for help as I didn't know I had adhd then.

I got the inkling that Scott is not super soy and stuck around, I'd see cross posting to themotte and the Wednesday threads here were better. I read some culture war stuff there.

I was kinda redpilled already due to having seen Moldbug and hbd issues. The people here were like those on slatestarcodex but more honest by every metric. At the time I hated my university, i went to a good program and still hated it as the only thing kids around me wanted was a job in bangalore and date 3s monogamously. Posting here weekly as rounded out a lot of issues I suffered from, dating being one you guys would know about.

Thanks man. I was going to tell you the other day - I feel like the quality of your posts has improved a lot over the last six months or so. I am learning a lot when you post these days. If you would just stop picking up lifting-related injuries, you'd really have it made.

I am 35 and she is 31 - it took me much too long to get it together, and I wish I now that I would've done this when I was 25. I would have liked to have maybe four kids, but as it stands I think we'd be very happy if we managed three; we're aware of fertility windows, and honestly I myself am a little concerned about how well I'll manage small kids in my 40s. I am already a little bit slower and creakier than I was in my 20s. Two is probably the true most likely outcome.

The primary thing that I think I mainly picked up on from relationship discussions on the Motte, was the legitimate futility of trying to use dating apps as an average-looking guy. It always felt a bit frustrating, but seeing the data drove the truth home. Instead I just worked on becoming a man that would be a good partner, and going out into the world a lot instead of staying inside on the computer. I remember years ago telling people about the concept of "micromarriages," which someone shared on here.

https://colah.github.io/personal/micromarriages/

There are a lot more general world-view things I learned from the Motte, but that concept is the most specifically applicable to romance - if you don't go places, you'll never meet people.

Accordingly - I met my fiancee at a fan group meeting of the local baseball team. It was handy to immediately have a shared interest to talk about, and it was then simple to ask her on our first date - which was to the team's Hall of Fame & Museum. And then while doing those things, we learned about each other's other interests, which made it easy to find new things to do together. It's all been remarkably smooth; maybe this is the fruit of spending many years going on bad dates, being in unsatisfying relationships, and generally gaining life experience.

I was going to tell you the other day - I feel like the quality of your posts has improved a lot over the last six months or so. I am learning a lot when you post these days

What stood out to you in particular?

I am learning a lot when you post these days

I am glad that my opinions help others. I learnt all I know from the internet, in particular from the neoreactionary sphere, themotte is a cool place because the people here select against low iq, dishonesty and hostility. As I learn more and read the nrx cannon properly, I should be able to have a better understanding of the world and what that can be done or I have done that is not just doomposting

If you would just stop picking up lifting-related injuries, you'd really have it made.

lol, yeah that and being more strict with my routine would sort my life completely.

I am 35 and she is 31 - it took me much too long to get it together, and I wish I now that I would've done this when I was 25. I would have liked to have maybe four kids, but as it stands I think we'd be very happy if we managed three; we're aware of fertility windows, and honestly I myself am a little concerned about how well I'll manage small kids in my 40s. I am already a little bit slower and creakier than I was in my 20s. Two is probably the true most likely outcome.

I would recommend the usual stack of meditation, sleep, and working out. I found these to help me even after extremely inconsistent usage. Though I personally would recommend as many kids as you can have, I wish you happy, healthy children.

The primary thing that I think I mainly picked up on from relationship discussions on the Motte, was the legitimate futility of trying to use dating apps as an average-looking guy. It always felt a bit frustrating, but seeing the data drove the truth home. Instead I just worked on becoming a man that would be a good partner, and going out into the world a lot instead of staying inside on the computer. I remember years ago telling people about the concept of "micromarriages," which someone shared on here.

I picked up PUA here which was amazing. The expliclit goal of which is to make you go from nerdy to fun and secure, online dating is a losing battle, cold approach is one of the best things a young man can do besides getting married.

but that concept is the most specifically applicable to romance - if you don't go places, you'll never meet people.

Yeah, this is also why I am writing more now besides the usual wellness Wednesday stuff. I want to write more regularly and publish them here so that I can at least attract a small number of new people and maintain the forum's quality. As for romance, I was totally stuck on one girl for four years until I met this British chick in Pai and finally got over my oneitis.

Accordingly - I met my fiancee at a fan group meeting of the local baseball team. It was handy to immediately have a shared interest to talk about, and it was then simple to ask her on our first date - which was to the team's Hall of Fame & Museum. And then while doing those things, we learned about each other's other interests, which made it easy to find new things to do together. It's all been remarkably smooth; maybe this is the fruit of spending many years going on bad dates, being in unsatisfying relationships, and generally gaining life experience.

Match made in heaven. Politics is inherently caustic, good to see such white pills here.

If you're reciting vows, make sure you have a printed copy of each person's vows and not actually two copies of your own vows, leaving your partner awkwardly confused at the altar until her sister manages to find a copy she was texted for review on her phone saving the day but leaving everyone slightly miffed at you.

...no reason in particular that comes to mind... Nope. Just something all people getting married should double check. Yup.

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