The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
People that went from not exercising regularly, to exercising regularly: what motivated you to do that? What got you started?
Personally I've enjoyed exercising since my mid-teens. I carry on doing it because I like having functional strength for the demands of daily living; and I also need agility and stamina to do well in sports I enjoy, especially tennis. When I was younger, I was also driven by the desire to look better. I did have success there, but I don't think about that aspect much anymore.
There are a couple of people in my family who, while they have normal or at least not-terrible weight, simply do not exercise. It isn't part of their life. While I know such a change largely has to come from within, I know from conversations with them that to some degree, they simply have never seen a reason to - having, perhaps, never really thought seriously about it. I'm curious about what angles I might take to try and convince them to give it a shot. I have a lot of social capital in this setting, and I do think I'd get a fair hearing.
I guess I may begin with the reason I want them to do it: as a defense against all-cause mortality, and as a method for keeping quality of life high well into middle and older age ranges. But I'm not sure how to back this point up or drive it home. Maybe if I had the right anecdote, blog, or article from a well-spoken source, it would help me.
In my 20's I had my manager/mentor drag me to the gym after a particularly stressful week of projects/clients. He introduced me to weightlifting as he had a background in amateur sport for which it was a benefit. I've been lifting on and off (just bought a rack/barbell/bench for my home gym) and I love the mental and physical benefits. Like others I started doing it for the girls. Now I do it for me.
I was also introduced to running when I was 18 for work related reasons. I've kept up with that (on and off) even when a gym hasn't been available. I go through periods of no exercise and generally get fed up with lack of energy/brain fog/being overweight and then go on a health kick to get things under control.
From my point of view, its much easier to maintain fitness as a lifestyle (or at least something familiar that you can return to) when you are exposed to it while younger. Have you tried to introduce an adult to say.. swimming or bike riding if they've never been exposed to those activities? Watch their looks of incredulity at their suggestion. You might as well suggest belly dancing on a public stage.
Although if I was going to suggest something to someone who had never exercised, Hiking would probably be the gateway drug. Almost everyone can walk a fair distance and if you get them to do it in the sunshine there is the double whammy of Vitamin D exposure and endorphins. Combine that with being their 'exercise partner' to keep them accountable and you have a better chance of getting some traction.
FWIW, I learned to ride a bike in my mid-20s. It took about a half hour of messing around in a parking garage (riding uphill as a learner is much easier because you can pedal harder without going fast) to get the basics down and then maybe like five rides outside to be reasonably competent.
Swimming, on the other hand, I've basically written off and triathlons with it. I can doggy paddle around or do a really goofy semi-freestyle well enough to keep myself alive if I needed to, but actually putting my face in the water is deeply uncomfortable and I just don't care to learn at this point. So, yeah, pretty much what you said.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I started lifting as a teen to get big for the girls. Stopped many times in between, always get back because not having discernable muscles as a male looks gross to me. I continue because I like doing the same thing for the 10000th time like an autist, if there is going to be a payoff. Unlike pure entropy curtailing with lifting you can actually get a lead on it.
More options
Context Copy link
I noticed that my wife looked much better than her age and wanted to match her looks. And I busted my back in a covid-induced coughing fit.
More options
Context Copy link
I started riding a bike because I was getting a little soft looking and wanted to move around more and explore. I got talked into entering a duathlon. I enjoyed the duathlon, but also found out that I liked running more than biking. I picked up running, got talked into a half marathon, did really poorly in my first one and was annoyed because I knew I could do better. After that, being naturally competitive, decent enough at the sport, and really enjoying it have been more than enough. Having been fully immersed in it for a long time now, there isn't any motivation necessary - I like running, I run almost every day, I run with a club and other friends, and the benefits are very easy to see. I have more trouble making the smart decision to rest than I do with just lacing up every day.
More options
Context Copy link
I was in a luxury college with a free gym and lifting courses. Yeah, pathetic story, but it's a counterbalance to "with sheer grit, determination, and weighted milk jugs."
Also change doesn't have to come from within if your surroundings make change the default choice. This is an underappreciated lesson that explains a lot about the last decade.
After college I got a free set from a woman whose son left, because she couldn't lift the weights to get rid of them herself. And a bench press the school was getting rid of.
More options
Context Copy link
For me, the motivation was just to be able to function without great discomfort, since I'd been overweight/obese for about 5ish years when I started losing weight. By BMI, I was right around the overweight/obese boundary (30), which was making simple acts like sitting on a chair without discomfort from fat rolls or walking up one flight of stairs very difficult and arduous. It was probably a bad decision given my weight at the time, but I started running, and as I ran more and more, I found that I enjoyed the experience of tracking my stats and pushing myself to get faster or keep up longer streaks or to go on longer runs and such. Being in my early-mid 20s helped my body tolerate the punishment, I think. As I discovered the fun of athletic activities, I pivoted to other ones, and I landed on ultimate Frisbee as a dependable go-to exercise that I partake in throughout most of the year.
As you allude to, I think this is the kind of thing that can only come from an internal motivation. But one thing that I think I took away from this experience is that finding a sport or other activity that you find fun or engaging is a big BIG help for making exercise stick. I don't run anymore, partly because of my knees, but mostly because I don't enjoy the actual moment-to-moment experience of running. The runner's high was pleasant, and the act of transforming my body both in terms of its physical composition and in terms of actions the body is capable of performing was fun, but at the end of the day, if I could get all those benefits without running, I would. I wouldn't say the same for ultimate Frisbee. For that, the activity is the benefit, and the exercise is a side-effect. Running for 30 minutes is a chore, but playing ultimate for 90 minutes is fun the whole time and burns more calories while also likely hitting a higher max HR. I've been able to manage my weight and general fitness level pretty well for the past decade or so without putting much effort at all into fitting regular exercise into my schedule - I just have fun playing a game that also happens to require me to exercise.
So I think, from a 3rd person perspective, to get someone else to pick up exercising, one path I would try to follow is to find some activity that they find fun that also enforces exercise. There are plenty of fairly low-level, low-commitment activities that can be tried out, including ultimate, but also other pickup sports like soccer or basketball, or biking or hiking or indoor rock climbing or even something like MMA or BJJ (though usually those take more commitment). I'd actually invite them to partake in these various activities with me, since 99.99% of the time, when the conversation goes "X is cool, you should try it," "Oh thanks for the recommendation, I'll give it a shot!" the 2nd person won't even remember what X is 30 seconds later, much less actually try it (that 99.99% probably drops to around 90% if you actually invite someone, but that's still a 1000-fold increase in success rate!). And if you have some social status in this environment, certainly attaching yourself to this activity will make them more likely to genuinely enjoy the activity in itself.
More options
Context Copy link
In 2021 I went from basically never exercising to exercising intensely at least once a week.
One of the main reasons for the change was that my lifestyle was fucking me up. I was diagnosed with diabetes and had just turned thirty. Maybe encourage people to go to the doctor (which is a smaller ask), and then the doctor will scare them into exercising more for you.
I mostly still hate exercise. I hate many similar activities that I consider just "holding the line" against entropy. Laundry, dishes, cleaning, pooping, meals for fuel, sleeping, hygiene, etc.
I've only managed to have a consistent habit of exercise because I made it a lot of fun. I play a rec team sport with people for my exercise. Even when I was younger I found it much easier to motivate myself when I was playing a sport with people. I have recently expanded to exercising more a week, but my main reason for doing so is to be better at the rec team sport I play.
I guess my advice is:
A friend of mine was recently told he has type 2. Which sucks. Did you have to drastically change eating habits along with beginning medication/exercise? If this is too personal, ignore it.
So I'm not cjet but I was diagnosed with diabetes (type 2) in 2021. To be honest, I haven't been managing it particularly well because the #1 thing is lifestyle changes (diet especially, even moreso than exercise) and that shit is way harder than taking medicine. I'm not even at a point where it would be useful to work with a nutritionist to optimize my diet, I'm talking basic stuff like "stop drinking soda or at least switch to diet" and "stop eating sweets". I've tried pretty hard to make those changes but have been unable to make them stick for any length of time (best I did was 6 months).
There is a medication side to it too. My doctor prescribed me Metformin, which gave me awful diarrhea. I finally asked her for other options and she has me on glipizide, but at my appointment next week (if I can manage to fight through the shame and actually face her) I'm planning to talk to her about Ozempic. By all accounts (including our very own self_made_human), it really is effective at cutting your desire to eat things so I'm hoping that will give me the boost I need to stick to the diet changes.
Overall it isn't great but I haven't had serious consequences yet. I know they'll happen, I'm not fooling myself. It just turns out I'm a real failure as a person and I keep falling off the wagon (so to speak) because of my weakness. But I am continuing to try because... what else can I do really?
Just be careful, I had a friend in pretty much exactly the same situation as you who went on Ozempic. The nausea and reduced appetite meant they were eating almost nothing and went into ketosis. As they were diabetic and that toppled them into diabetic keto acidosis. They ended up in the ICU for 4 days after their blood sugar topped 860 and was still climbing. So just make sure to monitor your blood sugar maybe a little more tightly than you otherwise would in the initial stages. But once they were stabilized and more watchful Ozempic does seem to have helped in the medium term at least. They did also lose 40 pounds from the whole ordeal, but it doesn't seem the best option for that.
More options
Context Copy link
Thank you for your response. I asked cjet because as I say a friend of mine was recently diagnosed. I was wondering to what degree lifestyle/diet changes are major part of managing the disease. My friend has also been a smoker probably the better part of the last 30 years and that would have exacerbated all sorts of issues. I don't know how he's dealing with it all. I periodically check in on him but it's hard to gauge the "Everything's good!" responses. I don't know if he has the typical diabetic symptoms of fatigue, etc. Or more pronounced symptoms. Or to what degree he has tried to make dietary adjustments. I can't imagine him suddenly eating cauliflower "rice" or the other recommended foods for people avoiding carbs. Also he lives alone so there's no one there to suggest he lay off the S'mores or whatever.
I'm sorry to hear you're finding it difficult to be as vigilant as you would like. I also cut all sugar for a while just as a personal project, but my blood glucose is fine. Six months sounds like a substantial amount of time. I wouldn't have thought backsliding as it were would be easy after a half year of abstaining (from sugar or whatever).
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I've only barely resumed a fitness routine (push-ups, given that I can't be bothered to take a gym membership for the months or so till I leave the country) after several years off, so I can't comment for myself.
But my younger brother? He's absolutely insane, he's hitting the gym like it owes him money, and when I ask him why the fuck he bothers since he doesn't give a shit about female (or male) attention, his justification is that "I'm doing this to mog women".
So yeah, his entire impetus for being fit is just to flex in front of women who are into him while ignoring them entirely. I'm in awe, I think he's the only sane person on the planet, and approaching levels of based I can't comprehend.
TIL
More options
Context Copy link
I really doubt that it's his real reason why he's hitting the gym so hard. For me, after around 3 months of hitting the gym consistently without skipping, it actually became really enjoyable and now I'm looking forward to every workout. I feel on top of the world after every workout, the mental clarity and physical pump is incredible. I thin your brother is addicted to that.
I must respectfully disagree, given that he's my own brother and I do know him.
We used to hit the gym together back in the day, and I was far more serious about it to boot. If he was addicted to lifting for the sake of lifting, I'd have known by now, but no, mf genuinely only does it to make other people seethe with jealousy. Sure, he probably does get some satisfaction out of starting to build muscle, but it's not the driving motive given how much he bitches after leg day.
Fair enough. To me, it just sounds like something an edgy teen/twenty-something guy that watches too many tiktoks/ig reels would say to own brother/friend to sound cool. I'm myself in that age range and have been around people with similar attitudes. But regardless, if that's truly what motivates him, more power to him.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
Your brother sounds like he took way too much inspiration from Miss Havisham in Great Expectations, lol. I kind of love it though.
Ah, to live in an endless state of kenjataimu, I can only dream.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
I'm easily disgusted, and I became disgusted with myself. I was disgusted by the little bit of flab under my chin, I was disgusted by my skinnyfat paunch, I was disgusted by my weak forearms, I was disgusted by my diet of microwave dinners and Diet Coke. I resolved to have a body and life I could look at without feeling disgusted. I don't know if this is considered the "healthy" thought process or motivation for physical change, but I don't really care if it isn't. I like feeling the difference in strength when I move things around, I like being able to run and swim longer, and I like the difference in how women behave around me. But I've also been doing it for long enough now that it's become an integral part of my daily routine, so I just do it without thinking too much about it anymore.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link