site banner
PaperclipPerfector  1mo ago (text post)   2638 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for September 27, 2024

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

2
Top Bottom Old Controversial Comments
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Gentlemen, I am pleased to announce I have finally found a decent pizza place near me. I have no earthly idea why, but this has been a remarkable weight off my mind.

Hey, glad to hear it. I've been pulling for you. I'll sleep just a little better tonight.

I have finally found a decent pizza place near me.

Keep your voice down. David Portnoy might hear you.

For various reasons I make our pizzas, and with some success. The usual pepperoni/Italian sausage (a facsimile I also make) but also a chicken ranch (half spicy, half not), a Mexican, once a cheeseburger pizza, and the meatless margherita.

Once you have a dough recipe and figure out your oven, the rest is fairly straightforward.

It's hard to do a good Neapolitan style pizza in a home oven.

Not if the oven has pyrolytic cleaning. It requires some tinkering with thermostats though.

Yes, but Sicilian/pan pizzas are very easy at home with no specialist equipment

I enjoy making my own, and it’s always a great hour with the kids rolling out their base and painstakingly preparing toppings and watching everything bubble and rise nicely.

That said, I am also on OP’s side in that there is a pure form of joy in finding a local place that does it consistently well. There’s a guy near me, Eastern European fella, he and his wife work flat out 8 hours a day 7 days a week and close the place for 2 weeks a year. They have 500+ 5-star Google reviews in a town where 50 would be in the top 3%. Unbelievable dedication to his craft. (He’s a bit of a pompous a-hole but every silver lining has a cloud.)

Have you tried digornio pizza?

I have not. I have tried a few other brands of frozen pizza though, and never had one better than "mid".

I have sampled a lot of them and I generally agree. The walmart sam's choice brand ones were mostly edible, the great value brand ones less so. Unfortunately I think they discontinued the former. Red baron is okay if you're already tipsy when you start eating it, which has usually been the case when I've had it. Digiorno was forgettable and not worth the expense over the cheaper ones. Some of the expensive ones can be pretty solid, but at that point you aren't really saving money over getting takeout and they only make sense as something to bring to a remote and isolated vacation rental or something like that.

The last one I had that I actually kinda liked was one of the latter, a $12(!) california pizza kitchen-branded frozen pepperoni and honey thing. Tasted pretty good but absolutely not worth $12 when I could pick up a substantially larger hot and freshly made one from $mid_tier_national_chain or a similarly sized hot and freshly made one from $local_good_pizzeria for the same price.

If you can afford it some of the options on Goldbelly are worth it. Much more upscale (but also more expensive) than traditional frozen pizza. You can also find some pretty prominent review/ranking places like OneBite that can give you some ideas for what frozen pizza is worth it.

Digornio is ass.

A nearby deli has Italian frozen pizzas that are already half baked in an actual pizza oven (such that they have that nice blackened crust / base going on) before they add the toppings and flash freeze them. Set the oven to 450f, let a metal tray heat up for a half hour and then put the frozen pizza in for 10 minutes and they come out pretty great. But they’re also quite small and cost like £8 ($11) and therefore come at a minimal discount to picking one up nearby.

Oh wow, even Red Baron?

Dude Red Baron is pretty mid. Also so is Little Caesars for that matter. I think you might just have low standards for pizza.

I always assumed RB was low tier. My parents only did Tombstone when I was a kid which is disgusting. However my in-laws have turned me onto the Classic Red Baron crust. For sometimes as low as $2.50/pizza (normally $3.50-$5.00) it's legitimately the most insane taste and calorie/$ ratio on the planet.

Home Run is too fatty for my taste, Screamin Sicilian is better than almost all of them but too expensive.

Yeah. It wasn't bad, but it didn't blow my socks off either.

What’s your definition of decent pizza?

To paraphrase Justice Stewart, I know it when I taste it.

He probably means something as good or at least a little better than Little Caesars

Every time I eat Little Caesars, I feel like I want to die. The pizza helps me here, because it makes me feel like I am actually going to die.

At first I start to sweat. I lose feeling in my limbs, my stomach aches in a concerningly numb way, and my eyelids become heavier than my crushing guilt. Actual ambrosia would not be worth the feelings it creates.

And yet I still crave the Caesar. Despite smoking many times throughout my life, I have never once failed to resist the cravings to do it more. Nicotine has nothing on that hellish pizza. An entire day’s worth of willpower is burnt if it ends up in my presence.

May Satan take that whole chain (but maybe I’ll have just one slice before he does.)

My man, surely you've visited a pizza joint that isn't an international chain?

Ya for sure, I don't think my school pizza was an international chain! Don't be ridiculous man.

I can’t tell if you’re being serious. Little Caesar’s is by far the most revolting pizza I’ve ever tasted. Pizza Hut, Papa John’s, Domino’s, Sbarro—hell, even Great Value frozen pizzas—are all far superior, even though I wouldn’t rank of them as great pizza either.

Little Caesar's does have one notable advantage: it's cheap AF. Back when I was in college (20 years ago, eep) it was only $5 for a large pizza. And while the quality wasn't great, it was at least ok. When you're a broke college student, being able to get half a pizza for $2.50 is awesome.

I mean if you want to get all hoity toity about pizza. Sure you can go high end with Papa johns, but I didn't realize we were talking rich people pizza.

What is this place?

This website is a place for people who want to move past shady thinking and test their ideas in a court of people who don't all share the same biases. Our goal is to optimize for light, not heat; this is a group effort, and all commentators are asked to do their part.

The weekly Culture War threads host the most controversial topics and are the most visible aspect of The Motte. However, many other topics are appropriate here. We encourage people to post anything related to science, politics, or philosophy; if in doubt, post!

Check out The Vault for an archive of old quality posts. You are encouraged to crosspost these elsewhere.


Why are you called The Motte?

A motte is a stone keep on a raised earthwork common in early medieval fortifications. More pertinently, it's an element in a rhetorical move called a "Motte-and-Bailey", originally identified by philosopher Nicholas Shackel. It describes the tendency in discourse for people to move from a controversial but high value claim to a defensible but less exciting one upon any resistance to the former. He likens this to the medieval fortification, where a desirable land (the bailey) is abandoned when in danger for the more easily defended motte. In Shackel's words, "The Motte represents the defensible but undesired propositions to which one retreats when hard pressed."

On The Motte, always attempt to remain inside your defensible territory, even if you are not being pressed.


New post guidelines

If you're posting something that isn't related to the culture war, we encourage you to post a thread for it. A submission statement is highly appreciated, but isn't necessary for text posts or links to largely-text posts such as blogs or news articles; if we're unsure of the value of your post, we might remove it until you add a submission statement. A submission statement is required for non-text sources (videos, podcasts, images).

Culture war posts go in the culture war thread; all links must either include a submission statement or significant commentary. Bare links without those will be removed.

If in doubt, please post it!


Rules


Recommended Posts And Communities

Recommended Realtime Chats