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Culture War Roundup for the week of August 12, 2024

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The appeal of 50 Shades of Grey and similar stories is that yeah, a lot of women really do get turned on by the idea of being dominated, and some part of them wants a 6/6/6 alpha the same way some part of most men want a barely-legal bikini model, even if they love their wives.

It is important to note that the female fantasy is to replace their husband with the 6/6/6 alpha, while the male fantasy is to add the barely-legal bikini model to a harem with their wives. Men are polygamous, women are serially monogamous, because a woman can only be pregnant by one man at a time, while a man can get multiple women pregnant at the same time.

Women's sexual desires are fundamentally evil in a way that men's sexual preferences aren't.

Women's sexual desires are fundamentally evil in a way that men's sexual preferences aren't.

why you think so?

If you're a guy who got dumped for a 6/6/6, you're now unmarried and free to look for another wife. If you're a wife who got sidelined for a bikini model, you're still married but receive only half (likely much less) of the commitment, and there's now one less woman for the rest of the men in society, statistically leaving one man completely without a match. It does look like the man's fantasy as you described it is the evil one.

What makes wanting an attractive and successful husband evil?

That part is normal and (according to the red-or-darker-pill view being expressed here) even biologically imperative. Presumably the evil part is the part where (again, according to that specific view) they're prepared to dump their existing husbands on a dime for him.

I don't think I'm anywhere near to fully agreeing with this, but I have seen a lot of media geared to women that treats female cheating very casually or sometimes even as virtuous, while this is rarely the case for male cheating in media aimed at men, and it's bothered me before.

Also, when women practice promiscuity, they prefer to do it in the form of serial monogamy / branch-swinging. In men's case, it's plate-spinning / soft harems. I don't think I need to describe how society treats these behaviors vastly differently.

while this is rarely the case for male cheating in media aimed at men

I definitely seen this glorified in many cases in media aimed at men (and not only in blatant porn or things pretending to not be a porn)

Pretty much no woman who is already married with children (having entered the marriage childless) is going to be able to ‘date up’ after divorce unless she picked a truly terrible husband. At best she’ll date sideways, most likely down.

Perfectly true, but media aimed at women such Eat, Pray, Love continues to sell them the fantasy that they will do better after a divorce, lots of women believe it, and destroy their husband's lives, their children's lives, and their own lives chasing Chad, not realizing that if Chad didn't want to settle down with them when they were young and childness, he definitely is not going to want to settle down with them now that they are old single mothers.

Do you have any actual statistics to back this up? I see y'all in the manosphere claiming this a lot, that it's just a typical woman thing to dump a good husband on a whim because she thinks she can do better. Women be dumping their loving, devoted husbands right and left, abandoning their kids, doing it all with no warning or justification, because a passing chad gave her tingles. Daily, hourly! And they're such stupid delusional cows, they have no idea that Chad Thundercock is not going to wife their newly divorced ass up!

It sure is a story y'all like to tell. And no doubt it's happened a time or two. But for every story like that, women have a story about the husband who left his good and faithful but aging, sagging, graying wife for a younger, fitter lass with boobs that still kiss the sun.

Whose story is more truthy? Which actually happens more often?

The reality is that most people don't casually derail their lives on a whim just because someone cuter winked at them (and if you married someone like that, your vetting instincts really need an upgrade). The man who dumps his wife for a younger model probably has his own version of the story, and so do the wives of the men who claim their wives just "destroyed their lives and their children's lives chasing Chad."

People can be shitty to each other, they can make bad choices in love, and they can be emotionally immature and irresponsible. What do you have besides resentment and just-so-stories to justify the assertion that women are more guilty of this?

I think that media is specifically geared towards the bottom of the barrel women who are already engaging in terrible or trashy behavior.

Women's sexual desires are fundamentally evil in a way that men's sexual preferences aren't.

That's, uh, quite a take.

You know, I have said this before and I'll say it again: evolutionary psychology has a lot of explanatory power, but humans are not hardwired circuits of evolutionary psychology. We are not spermatazoa and eggs being inexorably guided towards union in our every thought and action by chthonic reproductive forces. (And if we were - if what women do is just their evolved natures - then how is it "evil"?) At the very least, you must acknowledge we all live on various bell curves, in which some of us adhere to the "modal male/modal female" behavior more than others.

Detached from evpsych "Why women are evil hypergamous whores" arguments, I think the moral claim that it's "more evil" to want to replace your spouse with a hotter spouse than to want to make your spouse part of a harem is pretty weak. Why should a man find it more objectionable that his wife harbors desires to fuck another man instead of him than a woman should find it objectionable that her husband harbors desires to fuck other women in addition to her?

I have the intuition that adding a relationship is less bad than replacing a relationship. Like, if a married couple that already has a child decides to have a second child, or if a person who only has one friend one day manages to get another friend, that's a perfectly normal and positive development. Whereas if a couple has a second child and then throws out their first child into the streets because the second child is taller and stronger and smarter and they have decided that they want to invest all of their resources into one child, that would be evil.

Likewise, the desire of men to add a second woman to their marriage seems to me a lot more honest and healthy than that thing women do where they swear they will love you forever only to turn around and act like you never existed the second a better option comes long.

I think I would have preferred being the senior member of a harem to that.

I have the intuition that adding a relationship is less bad than replacing a relationship.

In a polygamous society you could call adding a wife "adding a relationship," I guess, but in our culture we don't see it that way and it's just cheating. Not at all the same thing as adding another child.

Likewise, the desire of men to add a second woman to their marriage seems to me a lot more honest and healthy than that thing women do where they swear they will love you forever only to turn around and act like you never existed the second a better option comes long.

Damn, dude, find you some better women. I mean, if you sincerely believe that "that thing women do" is just something that is natural to all women (AWALT), why do you even want to have a "relationship" at all?

You do know that men also have been known to profess eternal love for a woman only to dump her for a younger, hotter model, right?

I think I would have preferred being the senior member of a harem to that.

I doubt you would, actually, and certainly you wouldn't prefer being a junior member of a harem.

I doubt you would, actually, and certainly you wouldn't prefer being a junior member of a harem.

Ergw strikes me as having a bit too much pride to agree to be one of these guys, but if the only alternative to such relationship is separation, a person who is sufficiently in love and scared of being alone would put on the horns.

Goddamn, that picture...

That's one of those images about which people are going to start saying "That has to be AI because it can't be real."

Anyway, yeah, my point is there are worse things than being alone (for women too!) and if you really believe the entire opposite sex is evil, that would be enough for a rational person to just nope out.

Obviously, I don't think these people are rational, and schemes to "control" the evil hypergamous whores that they imagine represent how "trad" societies did it are, as hydro put it, patriarchy fan fiction.