The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
I agree with @self_made_human; you fucked up pretty seriously imo. I realize that you're not feeling the best and I'm sorry to pile on more, but you need to realize this now so that the next time you have someone good you don't set them aside because "what if I can do even better".
My wife and I have discussed this topic because I was in a similar boat as you - she was the first woman I ever dated, and I had to make a call as to whether I should pursue other options just to see what's out there. She, on the other hand, had dated many men over the years before meeting me. I mentioned to her (long after we got married) that I faced this choice, and basically there are two salient points she made based on her perspective:
It was good for me that I chose to not set her aside, because at minimum she would've started dating others and who knows where things go from there. More likely she would not have considered a relationship with me again.
Having dated many people she was able to gain perspective on just how many losers are out there. You're doing decently if you just find someone who is a good person even if they aren't good for you, let alone finding someone who is a good person and also good for you. So basically, if you hit that mark on the first try, be grateful because you saved yourself a whole lot of trouble.
If by some miracle your old girlfriend would take you back, I would suggest that. If she won't, then definitely don't make this same mistake again next time.
Or alternatively stick with her while you secretly search for someone who is a good person as well as is good for you. Now this is not an honourable thing to do, but there is no honour left in the modern west and I would not judge a man additionally for doing this beyond what I would judge any normal man who accepts and lives by the modern western belief system uncritically.
I suppose you can just marry the first four (or ten). You can fuck them as children, or murder men to marry their wives. Plus all the sex slaves. That would be the honourable thing in your religion, as per your prophet.
While @BurdensomeCount is clearly trolling for reactions, you're still to blame for being so willing to take the bait and swallow it whole, and this was pure personal attack. You've been banned four times previously for this sort of thing. I'm making it two weeks this time, only because I am feeling the Christmas spirit.
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