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OK, so I don't bring my dog to grocery stores or other places where the norms would suggest not doing so, but I do want to give you my gut response to the question anyway:
I don't care that you don't like dogs. I don't think you're evil for it, but I do think it's a sign of uptight neuroticism. My dog is a shy yellow lab that never barks outside her own home. She walks directly at my side and doesn't approach strangers. If someone was afraid of her, I wouldn't deliberately inflict her upon them, but I also think it is absolutely just their problem. If, for example, I was at a bar patio and someone was bothered by her presence, I would say that it's entirely incumbent on them to go somewhere else - the dog is normal and pleasant, the anti-dog guy is the unreasonable party, and that's up to him to act accordingly.
I'll agree that there is an annoying fraction of dog-havers that think their dog belongs everywhere. The flip side of this is that I've seen people on local Reddits whining about dogs on patios because they have allergies or they're scared of dogs. I am not at all inclined to accommodate their delicate systems and sensibilities.
I think a big part is sanitary conditions. You are bringing an animal into a place that sells food. Dogs simply cannot meet the sanitation requirements of those kinds of establishments. That dog sniffing the lettuce uses that same snout to clean its privates. They also can’t talk and need to shit and piss and yes they’ll have accidents. Great.
The other problem is that most dogs are poorly trained and socialized for the environments they’re in. Yes your dog is the exception, at least by what you say here. But your dogs presence means that the establishment is going to be taking in less well behaved dogs in the same places. And the reason is that those who don’t train their dogs absolutely belief that their animal is well-behaved. And they will Ask To Speak To Manager if they aren’t allowed the same access to restaurants and bars as your dog. And they will pester other guests, pee or poop on the patio, and possibly growl at or nip at other guests. I’m not going to object if the owner of the place decided pets are okay in outdoor spaces around th3 restaurant. My objection is that normalization of pets everywhere is creating sanitation and safety problems especially for the people with allergies and phobias.
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To ascertain your exact position, here's an example situation.
X and Y are total strangers who are walking along the same road (largely-untrafficked gravel road with no footpath; they're walking on the road itself) in opposite directions. X has a dog off leash, Y has another human walking with him. When X and Y reach, oh, fifteen metres apart, the dog breaks off and charges Y. Y waits for the dog to get close, then hooks a foot under the dog's belly, lifts it into the air, and throws it away from him (all with the same foot i.e. it was scooped up on the front of the ankle and inertia held it there throughout the movement). Dog lands with no damage and returns to X. X yells at Y for "kicking my dog". Is X justified?
No, because dogs should be leashed (or so predictably well behaved that this wouldn't happen). Controlling your dog is part of the basic social requirements of owning a dog. I will probably tend to think Y overreacted unless there is actually an apparent threat, but the entire situation is created by X not fulfilling the basic requirements of owning a dog.
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I don’t (obviously) think it’s uptight neuroticism. I don’t like barking, I don’t like dog hairs getting everywhere, and I don’t like the smell. Those all seem like reasonable non neurotic reasons to dislike dogs.
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Sure, I’m in agreement with you about your dog, taking at your word her behavior training and socialization- I used to have a chocolate lab who was much the same, and bringing her to a restaurant patio was a fun thing to do in the spring that didn’t hurt anyone. But many dogs in public are not nearly so well behaved, and this is a major problem for bringing dogs in public.
I absolutely don’t give a crap about the tender and delicate sensibilities of people who are bothered by dogs in a space. But there are often legitimate issues caused by those dogs.
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