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PaperclipPerfector  10d ago (text post)   2619 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for December 8, 2024

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.

Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.

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how do you balance letting your child(ren) make their own mistakes and take the consequences in a controlled environment, even when you disagree with their choices? When do you step in?

Well, that depends. Do I lack the time, the energy, the intelligence, or the personality to bother to connect with my kids (even for rational reasons)? Did I forget how I was like at that age, or am I forgetting on purpose? If I do, I'm just going to do the parental equivalent of copy-pasting code from StackOverflow or GPT-4 and hope for the best. This is a programming exercise, after all, humans are just meat-based neural networks.

It also matters who's giving the advice. So

“If I caught my kid looking at extremist material it would be a two prong 'congrats you just lost ALL media privileges' and a 'instant therapy or else'.”

is obviously a progressive woman (less often, a man) who hates her sons (or hates her sons because they do not sufficiently hate themselves, for the perceived sake of someone else's daughters) because her peer group told her to.

This is also the kind of woman who, by genetics, is not only more likely to have teenagers that rebel against her (and have peer group influence dominate her sons just as her peer group clearly does to her right now), but to take that extremely personally.

This advice should, obviously, be ignored by those parents who are not progressive, are not women, and who are not susceptible to peer pressure to anywhere near that same degree. (The fact that "opinion discarded" isn't obvious to some parents is a personality/risk management thing.) All of which are why you have no problem thinking this is wrong, and not trying to stamp out the possibility By Any Means Necessary.

In contrast, I think even moderate drinking or drug use is fairly risky for developing brains, and I think the laissez-faire attitude towards it is dangerous.

I think the laissez-faire attitude towards propagating stupid memes like "developing brains" is more dangerous than moderate drinking or drug use if you're not a parent given to those things in the first place.

Of course, the problem with moderate drinking or drug use is an obvious one- you're their boss, and it's very awkward to go far into more vulnerable states of consciousness with someone in a position of power! That's why it has to be done with peers, and depending on where that occurs, that's the dangerous part (especially if they have a reason to go full Rumspringa on you). Bars would actually be one of the safer options for this, but that's the one place they're banned from due to that infinite parental/societal wisdom.

Isn’t it kind of convenient that my moral inclinations and my opinions of the practical difficulties of implementing a ban line up so well for different activities?

Parents are generally just as stupid and selfish as their children; conversely, children are generally as wise and self-controlled as their parents.
News at 11.

obviously a progressive woman (less often, a man) who hates her sons (or hates her sons because they do not sufficiently hate themselves, for the perceived sake of someone else's daughters) because her peer group told her to.

This is also the kind of woman who, by genetics, is not only more likely to have teenagers that rebel against her (and have peer group influence dominate her sons just as her peer group clearly does to her right now), but to take that extremely personally.

Another aspect is that she’s very much like a fish out of water in this situation. She grew up in an era when society was already transforming culturally to what it is now, but was still running on the fumes of the crumbling patriarchy, so traditional mating norms were in force. (As another commenter observed here a couple of months ago, it doesn’t occur to normal people to spend mental energy investigating things that work.) The idea that young men would resort to looking up Youtube tutorials and whatnot just to find girlfriends is inconceivable to her. She lacks any point of reference. It all seems a bit scary.

It also matters who's giving the advice. So

“If I caught my kid looking at extremist material it would be a two prong 'congrats you just lost ALL media privileges' and a 'instant therapy or else'.”

is obviously a progressive woman (less often, a man) who hates her sons (or hates her sons because they do not sufficiently hate themselves, for the perceived sake of someone else's daughters) because her peer group told her to.

This is also the kind of woman who, by genetics, is not only more likely to have teenagers that rebel against her (and have peer group influence dominate her sons just as her peer group clearly does to her right now), but to take that extremely personally.

This advice should, obviously, be ignored by those parents who are not progressive, are not women, and who are not susceptible to peer pressure to anywhere near that same degree. (The fact that "opinion discarded" isn't obvious to some parents is a personality/risk management thing.) All of which are why you have no problem thinking this is wrong, and not trying to stamp out the possibility By Any Means Necessary.

Are you saying that progressive mothers shouldn't ignore that advice? I mean, they're going to get away from you eventually, and "has a formative experience of being abused by a crazy feminist" is TTBOMK a large risk factor for getting hardcore into the manosphere.

Do note what "or else" likely signifies here; you're probably talking about child neglect and/or law enforcement involvement under dubious pretences, because there aren't many other levers left to pull for a mother who's already confiscated all modern entertainment and who's too scared of retaliation to try beatings. Certainly, starvation/threats of eviction/threats of LE involvement were Mum's go-to levers to pull when I was a teen.

I drank with my dad and his friends when I was a teenager. I don’t quite understand why that can’t be normal(I understand very well that it isn’t, I just don’t why it can’t be).

And as an aside, I was under the impression that even moderate pot use was pretty bad for teenage brains, but for alcohol to be worse for a teenager than an adult would require fairly large quantities thereof.

I drank with my dad and his friends when I was a teenager. I don’t quite understand why that can’t be normal(I understand very well that it isn’t, I just don’t why it can’t be).

Because most parents rule their children through fear, especially during the teenage years.

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