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PaperclipPerfector  9d ago (text post)   25746 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of November 25, 2024

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Had our first around 4/5 years after our wedding. Despite what I was taught by Risky Business, it's not always that easy to get a woman pregnant.

Sure, fertility issues are understandable. I’m confused more by people who marry with the intention of delaying childbirth.

To clarify, do you find this more confusing or uniquely confusing compared to not marrying until later?

I find it confusing that a non-negligible number of people marry without intending to go ahead and have babies whatever the cost. Delaying marriage because you don’t want no baby seems pretty easy to wrap my head around. Having a baby and stopping at one because you don’t think you can handle more seems easy to grasp. Going ahead and getting married with the intention of not having a baby for years just seems confusing.

I loved my husband. He loved me. We wanted to spend our lives together. Marriage provided a legal structure to that decision, and offered protections that living together wouldn't. We didn't even have the "do you want kids" conversation until we'd been married several years, and were fortunately on the same page when we got to it. OTOH, both of our siblings married specifically with child-bearing in mind.

IME, religious weddings seem to focus a lot more on the idea that marriage exists for kids. Health insurance, property inheritance, SS, medical care decisions, and specifically committing to building a life together with someone you love and respect were plenty of motivation for us.

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