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Small-Scale Question Sunday for November 24, 2024

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We're coming up on the holiday shopping season in America. So, mottizens, what are your recommendations for gifts for friends, children, parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, lovers, frienemies at work, etc?

Historically I am good for one (1) banger of a gift per year. I absolutely crush it with a large and thoughtful gift for one family member, and then the rest end up as "well I spent $25-50." Marriage has been great for me, because my wife is really good at getting gifts for everyone. But she'd like me to contribute more to the process, which is fair. So I figure it's good to start getting ideas together, especially for some of the people in our circle who are difficult to buy for.

My dad's theory of gifts has long been that the best gifts are something you'd want, but would never buy for yourself because you wouldn't spend the money. To this I would add things that the recipient wouldn't think of or know about, though this always has more danger of the recipient not actually liking it. There's a long theory of "buying experiences" but I generally try to avoid it unless I can personally take them there and know their schedule well enough to know they can go with me, I hate the gift card as a concept ever since I worked retail for a couple years and realized how few giftcards are ever actually used.

Thoughts I have this year:

-- For theory one, YETI items outside of the coolers. I've long been impressed by YETI's ability to essentially invent the status cooler as a market. Over time I've gotten a few of their other items, and I have to say they are all very nice. I got their espresso cups when they were on sale at Ace Hardware (an admittedly odd place to buy espresso cups), and I really like them. Their mugs come it fun colors, are objectively high quality, and are the kind of silly indulgence that most people won't buy for themselves.

-- For theory two, these emulators haven't achieved a ton of penetration in my social circles yet. I'm looking around for the best price/quality combo, and for ones that are easy to cleanse down to kid-appropriate games. Though to be fair, Twisted Metal 2 was the first game I got for PS1 and I turned out ok, I think.

-- For experiences, I have purchased rentals on Turo for a fun car for a day. Prices for something fun have been decent since the mid-engine vette dropped, and the cybertruck is a good option this year for something wild but fairly normal.

What are y'all doing? Especially for parents and women?

My dad's theory of gifts has long been that the best gifts are something you'd want, but would never buy for yourself because you wouldn't spend the money.

I take a similar approach: buy a nicer version of something than they would buy, or even have already bought. E.g. they may have a couple $10 knives - buy a $100 knife.

I don't know, and am starting to understand how my older working class relatives ended up giving each other lame things like jeans, socks, and toothpaste. Anything desirable enough to be excited about must be discussed at length (we're currently considering a three day trip to a nearby city). We're low enough SES that this includes things like an $80 espresso machine. We're both picky about personal items, and it's very obvious when someone isn't using the thing you got them. I will be missed if I leave or get home early/late by even 10 minutes.

At least 5 year olds are fun to buy gifts for. They are the best gift recipients. We got ours pajamas, after previously not having any, and she was so happy about it, and wondered out loud if Santa had placed the pajamas on the store rack for us to see, since it's so great having princess pajamas.

If you know people well enough that you think that you've found something that fits what they like, and that they would buy, but they don't know about, that's good too. But that can be tricky to do.

My dad's theory of gifts has long been that the best gifts are something you'd want, but would never buy for yourself because you wouldn't spend the money. To this I would add things that the recipient wouldn't think of or know about, though this always has more danger of the recipient not actually liking it. There's a long theory of "buying experiences" but I generally try to avoid it unless I can personally take them there and know their schedule well enough to know they can go with me, I hate the gift card as a concept ever since I worked retail for a couple years and realized how few giftcards are ever actually used.

I broadly agree with both your dad's and your theory. The general issue with personalized gift-giving, is that often you end up muddling into subjects in which the gift-reciever is more knowledgable and idyosincratic than yourself: For example, I have a friend who really likes romantic novels, and I don't know much about them, should I gift her a critically acclaimed one? A silly, but popular one? Am I going to end up gifting something that she has already read?

My own advice, that doesn't overlap with what you've already said, would be:

  • Look for things on the edges of the area of overlap of your interests: You might not be able to figure out which are the best rugby jersey to gift your rugby-obsessed cousin, but you might be able to find him a great rugby-related book.
  • Rather than "gift experiences", gift consumables: Even if they're willing and able to buy it, a coffee-head will always appreciate a good bag of coffee.
  • Contary to the neuroticism of my first paragraph, an obvious gift is often a good gift, most people aren't thinking too deeply about this: A lion plushie for your friend's newborn named Lionel is likely to stand out, the bar for thoughtfulness is that low.

I generally believe in consumables theory, that you really can't go wrong with them and they will almost always be used. For the past few years I've often fallen back on a gift box of pastrami and pickles and such from Katz Deli. It is the kind of thing most people would never buy themselves but every man I have given it to greatly enjoyed it.

Obligatory reply with warmed over Jehovah's Witness nonsense that Christmas shouldn't be materialistic, or that such and such is a waste of money and you should give people I-Bonds or crypto or gold bullion or whatever.