The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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I read all of your posts on this site; I must admit I experience a bit of schadenfreude when reading your woe-is-me posts. But I'm not completely cruel. Reading your posts about living in Thailand made me feel very excited and happy for you. It sounded like you were having the time of your life over there. You put too much pressure on yourself to be successful. You hold yourself to this ideal of what you think you should be and as an outside observer it just seems so exhausting. My advice is to strongly consider going back to Thailand. Go back and continue to explore the social connections you made. Take a year; hell, take six months. It's not the end of the world or the end of your career to do it. And you might find that what you think really matters now doesn't actually matter all that much. You're a young guy, you have plenty of time to be miserable. Go back to Thailand and embrace that experience of feeling good that you so clearly had.
I know that you won't listen to this advice. But really, take a second and think about it.
Well, my ex roomate was the one carrying the finances and with him leaving thailand, I cannot go back so that is that. My other co founder and I will finally start working for real which is why I am shifting to another town here. Once I can have some semblance of money coming in, I would move out as soon as I can to some other location.
My main concerns in life are
Now, my other co founder has an e commerce thing so I am hoping that I can get some money from that and then spend time working on my startup, get enough skills to be employable on my own and then try to shift to bail or some place. If my startup takes off then that is even better but this is the scenario I hope for. I am taking the month off and just reading because even my co founder realised that I was in stress.
I would love to go back but I cannot. I came back because I relaised that my roommate would not work as much as we should and was working on an idea that I did not even like or think would work out, what is even worse that since I was not the code guy, whenever things would go wrong, I would get blamed.
One big thing I loved there was that I could just do what I wanted to, I could visit nightclubs and talk to girls, something I genuinely really really like. It is the one thing I could act on since I could not work on something else living off of someone else's dime, I could not work out or do any combat sports since I had a partial tear in my right shoulder a few months ago. Sure I get chastised for it but I like meeting random girls, flirting with them and having a good time. I dont drink, I did do drugs for a few days in Pai where I was visiting for a week but no more.
I am not that young though, 24-25 is not young, I have 5 years before I hit 30, more than that neuroplasticity sets in and after an age you are not youthful anymore. I want to make the most of my youth, whatever remains of it. I will try to move to Bali once I get some money coming in, if all goes well, maybe the US. I can remember being 14 and instead of actually studying, I chose surfing the internet, a decision that I regret daily as it became a habit, like smoking, where whenever something bad would happen or if I needed to work on something, I would just take the easy way out. I can tell myself that maybe I am not meant to do anything computer related but that is a cope too since everything is kinda boring in the initial few days, you get good and things become fun, I never crossed that threshold so it is important I do so now.
I appreciate the advice and your intentions. I want to post weekly updates here and pray to god that I succeed with my startup stuff this time.
LOL
Ed:
If you are actually looking to improve your tech prospects I'd suggest moving to someplace that's, like -- got a lot of tech stuff/startups going on?
Thailand has a lot of lazy expat partiers and/or sex pervs looking to indulge those habits on the cheap, and Bali is much the same but with more Australians -- fun as these places might be, they will not help your career development.
I will try to move to the US soon if I can. Bali is great, ultimately i want to visit the US as a tech guy running his own thing since that is the Florence of tech startups of today, SF I mean but in the meantime, if I can visit bali, it would be fun. Really cute girls there too, partying, from around the world.
Thailand had so many sex pervs man, quite insane. I went there because pieter levels recommended chaing mai as its cheap, safe and very clean, amazing for a digital nomad. I miss that place though, so many memories, I feel like a grown up now in ways because I lived there, away from parents and in a different nation, first time leaving my country.
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This is a matter of perspective. I said the exact same thing about myself when I was 25, but looking back now (I'm 39) that age seems very young to me. I realize why you say this (I said it myself, lol), but try to reframe your perspective if you can.
I am worried that I will just end up being this way at 40 and that will be worse than death in all honesty. Another year of this and I am done.
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