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PaperclipPerfector  3mo ago (text post)   34129 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of July 29, 2024

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The point is men having casual sex are widely perceived as cool.

Yes, and the comment you replied to was making a normative rather than descriptive claim, and it’s wild and uncharitable to interpret it otherwise.

Were the anti-drug PSAs in the 80s that said “it’s not cool to do drugs” making a claim about the belief systems of teenagers?

I really do not think that is the case.

For example, is a man who constantly goes to strip clubs to pick up strippers for sex, or hires escorts on a weekly basis... do people consider this guy 'cool' for all the sex he has (and pays for?).

Is the guy who hangs around college campuses to hit on younger girls and seduces a new girl every month or hits up frat parties to bring drunk girls home 'cool?'

Is the guy who trolls the apps and hits on every single unattractive female he can find, and manages to bag one every so often, 'cool?'

I think the 'coolness' is ALMOST ENTIRELY derived from the status of the person engaging in the casual sex. A rock star, a celebrity athlete, maybe the guy who fits the 'bad boy' or 'outlaw' model to a T is 'cool.'

The mere knowledge that a guy engages in lots of casual sex isn't going to raise his social status much, but a guy with a lot of social status will have an easier time getting casual sex, and the fact that he gets so much casual sex is considered a perk of being so cool.

I.e. casual sex doesn't grant men status, men acquiring status grants them casual sex.

I think this is a kind of sleight of hand.

The image of a man who has lots of casual sex is perceived as cool. Movie starts and rock stars, playboy business gurus etc.

The reality is way bleaker - Bikers, gang members, drug dealers, drug abusers, semi-homeless but sort of handsome or a smooth talker, divorced uncles who cruise North Vegas casinos, real estate hustlers and YouTube "buy my course!" influencers. Their sexual partners are not starlets and supermodels - they're desperate, often addicted or otherwise compromised women who are so fragile that a literal smile is all that's needed to win their affections. The reality is that your median "playboy" probably has a familiarity with the criminal justice system and is not someone you would want to hang out with.

This is I believe both inaccurate and extremely uncharitable. Guys who fuck around are probably not mostly criminal losers.

Nor are they mostly superstars. We don't know the real mix, but men that are so successful and popular that women throw themselves at them are rare by definition. The most common non-"criminal loser" guy who has lots of casual sex is a mildly sociopathic college student/young professional: he knows his target demographic, knows how to steer the first or at most the second date towards sex, knows how to dump them the morning after.

But being a guy who gets fresh disposable poon every weekend is lower status than being a guy who gets a new supermodel girlfriend every few years.

Also I think its a reversal of cause and effect.

Guys who are 'cool' just have an easier time getting casual sex.

So casual sex is a perk of being cool.

So yes there's some association with coolness and casual sex, but I can think of a number of scenarios where guys who get regular casual sex are in fact deemed 'pathetic' by society.

Is a guy that goes to Thailand on a regular basis specifically to engage in sex tourism 'cool?' I can't think of a single case of such.

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