The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Update on my fat wife.
Thank you for the responses and thoughtful discussion, and special thanks to our ladies who participated. I am mulling over what dietary changes I might pursue; it’s just I know nothing of nutrition.
I did 7 pull-ups yesterday. When I started I was able to do 3 with enormous effort, and the most I had ever done before that (in high school) was 4. So I’m excited about that.
My wife commented on my body for the first time last Friday, and again last night, each time concerning my chest right after doing some exercises, when I had what I think the initiated call a “pump.” What interests me though is these new muscles that are cropping up from the side of my ribcage a few inches below my armpit. I knew there were muscles there but only in a theoretical sense. As far as I’m concerned they just sprouted up from the bones.
As for her, she joined me on one of my runs on Monday, and it was her idea! She expressed interest in running more with me, but not on my schedule. She also got a little interested in my pull-up tower, and I told her about negative pull-ups. I caught her doing some (and crunches) one night, but she hasn’t systematized anything.
Female here, with one point that's missing from the previous thread: you don't mention how old your wife is, but if she's anywhere in the mid 30s- mid 40s range, then normal perimenopausal hormone shifts will absolutely cause a natural change in body composition and fat distribution, particularly increasing visceral fat in a way that gives that "pregnant" look, without any changes in diet or exercise. Stress and sleeplessness make this fat-deposition pattern worse (so if you see things that could reduce her stress levels, that might be a good approach), but I'm not aware of anything that can fully reverse it. Just go to the mall and glance around and see how many 50-year-old women you can find who still have a 25-year-old's waist shape, regardless of overall fitness or weight: it's a vanishingly small proportion.
Thank you for your reply!
I wasn’t aware of this, and you make a good point that I should keep in mind. I was instead prepared to blame it all on American culture and obesity patterns.
But no, she’s in her late 20s and has only suffered the post-teen slowdown so far—and also as a teen her belly wasn’t flat, which I found cute at the time because the fat was staying near her belly button, and not creeping below.
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Yes, I hit my 40s and rapidly developed a belly, after having a flat stomach my whole life. It's distressing!
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The big enemies are: liquid carbs (like soda and juices), dry carbs (like rice crispies and hard candy), fatty carbs (like chips, Twinkies and chocolate). Basically, you want wet but chewy carbs in your diet (like fruit, vegetables, legumes, potatoes, maybe some rice and pasta). Eliminate the big enemies and you will see the effect immediately.
Try to learn to enjoy the feeling of emptiness in your stomach. When it starts nagging you, think "fuck yeah, I can feel myself getting leaner already, I'll eat when it's time, it's not hunger, it's just maladjusted appetite".
Calculate how much protein you eat every day. Aim at 2g/kg and prioritize lean sources if you need to eat more: whey powder, chicken, turkey, lean fish, seafood. If you can see your serratus muscles already you'll see the results very soon.
Man, my wife 'taught' me that this is not necessary. She jams soooooo many vegetables into my stomach; I feel soooooo full on basically negligible calories.
You have a good wife.
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I read your first post and I'll not comment about your wife, but its funny how you expressed something along the lines of "I do not want to be a gym rat or get humongous. ".
My brother in Christ, I've been trying to get "humungous" for years, actively trying, and I'm still not there yet. Trust me, you won't get too muscular by accident, in the same way you won't accidentally get a PhD from Harvard after reading a book.
I hope understanding how much effort it takes to simply do more BODYWEIGHT pullups (to get big you will have to do many with additional weight :P), dissipates that concern of yours.
TIL you weren't a Muslim
I'm agnostic.
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Christ is a prophet in Islamic theology
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"My brother in Christ" is used online in general as a somewhat sarcastic way to address someone. It doesn't necessarily mean someone is a Christian.
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This came up last time. I thought in the context it would clearly read as “I don’t plan on being a gym rat or ever being humongous.” In the very next sentence I elaborate by mentioning simple equipment which will very obviously not turn me into Mr. Universe.
I’m not nervously wringing my hands, scared that I’ll wake up as gigachad.
If I appear frustrated, I guess I’m concerned that I’m somehow coming off as naive enough to believe that being a bodybuilder is easy.
it's hilarious to me that these responses have basically proven your point. You dropped that line in, very clearly to specify what your goals were and avoid gymbro pointers, and you've gotten gymbro pointers about how you can't accidentally become a gymbro.
It's impossible to avoid, every gym bro wants to point it out so fucking bad.
I'll stop pointing it out even preemptively the day people stop saying " I don't want to be big, I'm okay with your size". That's not a compliment!
My bete noire:
I don't care if you make Charlemagne black and George Washington gay, but I will go nuts when I see characters in media be absolutely jacked and shredded and we never see them work out. Like we see every fucking aspect of his life in The Bear, we never see even a hint of gym time, dude is yoked.
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