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Culture War Roundup for the week of May 13, 2024

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  1. Before the Sexual Revolution became the new norm*, it was not standard practice to hit on girls outside your social circle as a single man. In fact, the unstated consensus was that your relatives or friends will introduce you to some girl in their social circle, thereby vetting you for her sake, and sort of vetting her as well, although that wasn't seen as equally important, I think. This is how rank-and-file people paired up.

  2. Mandatory military service, hard physical labor, service in the Boy Scouts, boarding school, time spent in all-male environments in general were all social norms throughout the West for large numbers of men. This had the aggregate effect of toughening men up to a degree, which served to at least partially offset/balance the effects of hypergyny / female hypergamy on the mating market.

  3. There was social consensus that masculinity is an ideal and is clearly defined. This wasn't undermined by any social institution. Boys were expected to assume this role, with sticks and carrots put in place accordingly.

  4. Feminists will happily complain that patriarchal societies enact slut-shaming, which is more or less true. What is left unsaid is that there existed the parallel practice of cad-shaming. Both single men and single women lived under the surveillance and control of their social circle to a degree.

"Eligible" in this context means "eligible for marriage or at least long-term commitment" i.e. "to be considered as a future husband". Which means a couple of things: not addicted to any substance, not a gambler, not a domestic abuser, not a rake, not a violent thug etc.

*So sometime between 1970-1980, depending on social circumstances. That was the cutoff point, I think.

"Both single men and single women lived under the surveillance and control of their social circle to a degree."

Yet, somehow, prostitutes continued to be healthily employed in every major and probably minor European city even during the most buttoned up times. Which proves the feminists point - there was never actually true equality, even in repression.

  1. How is prostitution being normalized evidence of inequality? Do you see it as proof that womankind's lot is uniquely bad?
  2. What does this issue have to do with equality in the first place exactly?

patriarchal societies enact slut-shaming, which is more or less true. What is left unsaid is that there existed the parallel practice of cad-shaming.

If being a john was seen as (relatively) normal yet prostitutes were pariahs, then this parallel practice of cad-shaming wasn't as prevalent as slut-shaming, and the feminists are justified in leaving it unsaid.

Well, yes, this is a classic misunderstanding. Cads aren't johns per definition, they're men who prioritise casual sex and other forms of hedonism and avoid the social role of the father, the husband, the provider and worker. It's not a matter of visiting brothels or not.

Visiting brothels sounds like failing at the social role of a husband to me.

And if it's fine because husbands weren't expected to be as faithful as wives, then this is again evidence of inequality.

Yes, it was fine. And it's not like the current social regime is not as unjust in other aspects, so it doesn't matter.

Anyway, why are you also bringing up inequality? This entire subject has nothing to do with inequality.

It's not like there isn't room to criticize past societies, but I don't get the whole equality angle. Even feminists don't want equality.

So sometime between 1970-1980, depending on social circumstances. That was the cutoff point, I think.

There were actually two sexual revolutions. One just after WWI, where a greater degree of free choice, longer period of courtship, smaller age gaps, and other things we associate with the west as opposed to other cultures today became the norm, and a second one where people admitted to having fornicated.

For pre-first sexual Revolution courtships, read a little house on the prairie. One of the books is functionally the story of how it went down(I remember the story of my great-grandparents, who were on the very tail end of this system). A minority of conservative Christians want to bring the system back, but as any of them could tell you, it’s not working very well.