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PaperclipPerfector  7mo ago (text post)   3592 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for May 5, 2024

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NBA Star Rudy Gobert misses game 2 of playoff series against the defending champs to attend the birth of his child.

Thoughts? Yeah, the birth of one's first child is a big moment, but this is also the biggest moment of the last 20 years for his team (who gave up quite a lot to get him I might add). Apparently, he was expected to just make it back in time for tip-off, but weather delays pushed his flight back. I'd be pretty pissed if I was a Timberwolves fan tbh.

Minnesota won, so it doesn't matter. If they lost, it would be a big deal, but they won, so it's ok.

I've told my wife that I have no real desire to be in the room during the birth. It feels like the ultimate nightmare version of standing around awkwardly around pretending I'm helping the plumber.

It doesn't have to be. If you pick up the right prenatal classes there are a number of helpful things you can do. supporting her physically (depending on position), massaging her legs, feet, back (useful if she is prone to cramping), to more esoteric things like counter-pressure. Your wife may also not be in a position to advocate for her needs. Which isn't a problem if your medical/birth team are good, but its always possible you get an issue, you'll have to go to bat against.

In my case for my third child, the midwife waited too long to decide on an episiotomy and I had to tell them my wife was prone to a tear and if they didn't cut it was going to be much worse (a lesson learned from births 1 and 2).

Your call of course but I think you can plan find ways to be useful.

Somewhat related, Scottie Scheffler has been on the biggest tear golf has seen since prime Tiger; in late March/April he won four out of five tournaments in a row and narrowly missed winning the fifth - some $20ish million in winnings. All this while his wife was 8+ months pregnant; I can't find speculation as to what the precise due date was but comments from him seemed to suggest late April so now she's overdue. He is skipping the big money event this week but more to the point he was very vocal that if his wife went into labour he would step off the course mid-round. He said this also applied if he was leading in the last round of the Masters (which he won comfortably). Now it's not a team sport (besides I suppose the caddy) but the question is essentially would he potentially compromise his individual legacy as a golfer to be with his wife during labour.

I think being present for your child's birth is one of those things that is important because you really don't want them to later learn you were willingly working rather than waiting to meet them as the earliest possible moment.

If I WERE to do that, I'm sticking at least half of whatever purse I win into a trust to provide for that kid's care by way of apology.

If he’s making $20m in a month I can’t see what’s so pressing about avoiding his kid’s birth.

This is an interesting question. On one hand, were I tyrannical dictator of the universe I would ban all spectator sports, so I don’t think the playoff game is important. On the other hand, what is very important is that a man fulfill his responsibilities to his friends and supporters. So while the game itself is insignificant, the social relations on top of it are maximally significant. So the player would be in the wrong if these social relations are more important than being at the birth of your child. And now the final layer of complexity: is it actually important for a man to be in the hospital room while his wife gives birth, and is this contingent upon the significance of one’s social obligations? To the first question, history says men usually were not present during the birth of their child, except for elite families. To the second, I think yes — when more people are relying on your husband, this means a lessened or eliminated obligation to be present during childbirth. Lastly, there’s the unique situation here where the NBA player’s entire livelihood relies on playing the game, and this livelihood allows the wife and child to live amazing lives, so I think it would be wrong for the wife to complain.

Another point is that the girlfriend likely moved to Minnesota to be with him and doesn't have a strong local support network. If she had a mother, sisters, and best friends since childhood in the city it would be less of an issue.

He could fly her mom, sister, maybe a friend or two into the city to help support her?

You'd be pissed? It's just a sport. Entertainment.

My first thought was I didn't even know he was pregnant!

Seriously though, it registered as kind of weird, but a man's got a right to his priorities and I wouldn't question him either way. I'm probably always going to have a soft spot for Gobert after people gave him so much shit for joking about Covid.

Rudy did everything right.

Looking at the calendar there were no games Sunday - Friday last week. So they could have induced then or flown her out to Denver. Looks like people didn't think Gobert was critical enough to do either.

I'm not a big sports fan but I'd guess that NBA players have missed games for much less important reasons.

I'm more impressed than anything that Gobert had the wisdom as a man, father, and husband, not to suggest his wife make medical decisions based around a basketball game.

Wait till you hear about how many people in India insist their kids are delivered on auspicious dates; though since c-secs are the norm for anyone who can afford them, and those are usually done when the baby is ~mostly done baking in the oven, shifting the date about by a handful of days isn't the biggest deal in the world.

But yeah, he's got his priorities straight. Maybe it would be different if he had accumulated a million TBIs, but basketball is a comparatively civil sport.

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