The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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This is one of those things I keep seeing people post online but I just don't see in the world around me.
What do you do with your week, what are your hobbies, where do you go on a Sunday afternoon.
If your answer is you "I don't have any hobbies" and "I don't go out on Sunday", that there is your problem.
Why would you peruse another Masters Degree instead of say a job, a gym membership, or a Pilot's license? (For some reason FPOs in my area just seem to collect attractive 30 year-old women) You want to improve your dating prospects? My advice is to get buff, read books, and become interesting.
Meanwhile circumventing the ban just makes you a bad actor.
I am pursuing a job, and indeed it takes up the bulk of my day (~80 hours a week or so). Unfortunately, this job, though financially extremely rewarding, is in a very male-dominated field and my coworkers, though amiable enough in the office, are mostly settled down and not the most social creatures. Hence my reliance on dating apps.
As for my hobbies, I’m a big fan of singing karaoke, playing board games and trivia. Yes, I’m aware that I am a bit of a walking stereotype. My Sunday (well, Saturday) nights are largely spent doing those things with friends. My friend group is reasonably gender-balanced compared to my workplace but there is, I feel, a cultural tendency within the group against asking out other members of the group; instead the vibe is that dating should be kept separate (and, it is implied, app-based) so as to avoid causing drama. In any case, I don’t think there are any currently-single women in the group.
Point well taken that I can and should get into shape. I do think that is the highest-marginal-return-to-attractiveness thing I could do right now, but I don’t see how that would meaningfully widen the top of the funnel. I suppose I might meet someone at the gym, but again, my read of the cultural milieu is that making passes at the gym is generally frowned upon (as always, rules 1 and 2 apply, etc. etc.). The thing is, I was already reasonably happy with my results on Hinge, so I don’t think lack of attractiveness is the biggest issue. My issue right now is that the pipeline has dried up.
Oof, and you're considering pursuing a second degree on top of that? No offense, but that there might be a good chunk of your problem.
Anyway, your milage but in my experience Trivia and Karaoke are actually pretty good options for meeting people because you've got multiple "ice-breakers" built into the premise. "Hey, I'm flying solo tonight you mind if I join your team I got [subject covered]", "I've always loved that song", etc... The trick is to find a regular Event/Spot that has a decent distribution of Men and Women and make it part of your routine. Get to the point where you know the staff and they know you, so that you're not "just some creep on the prowl" you're "Mike the engineer, who does a really good Jon Bon Jovi". Networking isn't just for business.
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Do you expect the job to stay like that for a long period of time? Do you have any plan for what you will do if you do find someone?
It seems like the lack of slack in our day is both making it more difficult to pursue the sorts of social events where you might meet a woman, and also will be hard to manage if you do find a compatible woman, let alone one considering a serious relationship with the possibility of marriage.
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The only women who will entertain a conversation in public with a stranger all have boyfriends and are desperate for attention. The ones who are single will say "Ihaveaboyfriend" as you open your mouth.
I've heard people in real life refer to dating apps as the only socially acceptable way to meet people, unless you're in a group of friends and they're in a group of friends, otherwise you're a creeper. Direct paraphrase. Mind you, I was also present for some uber-progressive woman making fun of dudes' pictures on Hinge, then saying that she'd never go on a Hinge date because she doesn't want to get assaulted. Someone asked her why she was on Hinge then, but by that point I had checked out of the conversation and that entire social circle.
Again, this is something I keep seeing people post online but I just don't see in the world around me. Part of me suspects some sort of coordinated psyop by the tech-bros who own shares in social media companies 'cause near as I can tell @100ProofTollBooth's got it right. There's never been a better time to just go outside and talk to girls.
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Where do you actually meet women though? My hobbies are all men.
Pick a spot with a decent distribution and just go. Honestly @iprayiam3's suggestion isn't half bad.
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Buy a very cute dog of a smart breed, and train him to, on a subtle cue, 'accidentally' get the leash tangled around a woman and her dog. Then take him to a crowded park / trail and troll for hotties.
That doesn't work either. The only time women engage with my cute dog in public is when I'm walking with a female friend, it's a night-and-day difference. Or if their boyfriend is around, then they'll engage with the dog.
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