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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   2629 thread views

Friday Fun Thread for August 4, 2023

Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.

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How to Open Jars as a Woman or a Weak Man

We've all been there. We go into the fridge for a late night snack. The jar of unopened pickles sits there, taunting us. How will we get to the delicious contents there-in?

It might be tempting to simply take the jar and shatter it against the counter, allowing one to grab the pickles up off the floor. It's true, this is a convenient and compelling method. We can deal with the pickle brine and shards of broken glass the next morning.

But this might not be the great solution it seems at first glance. For one, your roommates might be disturbed by the sound of broken glass. It's also possible you could get pickle juice on your socks.

Another popular method of opening a jar is to pass it around a group of men (or, hilariously, a woman) to allow the best and strongest among them to open the jar. This can be effective, although often the person who opens the jar is merely the beneficiary of the person immediately before who loosened it up. The moral hazard of allowing one person to claim credit that is properly due to society at large should not be encouraged.

The laws of physics state that warm water passed over the lid of a pickle jar will cause you to burn your hand while not eating pickles.

You could also try whacking the lid against the counter or with a hammer or something, but now we're just back to the first method again.

No - for women and weak men there is one true and best way to open a stubborn jar. Use a glove or oven mitt with some friction. Works every time.

Whack the bottom with the heel of your hand a few times then try again.

If that doesn't do it, the never-fail solution is to put some dents in the edge of the lid by tapping around its circumference with a utensil. The best option for this is holding a butter knife by the blade and hitting with the handle.

Not sure how bad this is for the seal if you're intending to reseal it long term, but this always works.

Break the seal. I'm too impatient, and sometimes using a bottle/can opener doesn't work if you can't get it under the lid, so I just pierce the top of the lid with a sharp knife, the seal pops and I can then unscrew the lid.

Yes, this had disadvantages, but you get to the pickles fast and who cares past that?

This thing: https://www.thegripjaropener.com/ - makes jar opening non issue. I'm sure there are many variations of it, I just posted the first that came up in search results. I am probably strong enough to open many jars the old way, but I never do anymore - why bother? I only wonder why this thing is not the standard in every kitchen.

The laws of physics state that warm water passed over the lid of a pickle jar will cause you to burn your hand while not eating pickles.

I use boiling water from the kettle then grip it with a towel to open it. I'm pretty careless while cooking and often get burns and scratches but I never got burned doing this.

I have a strap wrench I got for some maintenance task long ago. I keep it in the kitchen now because it also works great for opening any stubborn jars.

My mother has a big plastic gripper to open bottles and jars.

The old "rubber husband" trick...

My girlfriend showed me that you could release the vacuum by prying under the lid with a knife. I can't believe I didn't know that was an option until then!

Just do it with a butter knife, or you will pry your hand open sooner or later.

Use a bottle opener on the edge of the lid, if it is a metal lid. This breaks the airtight seal, letting air in and allowing the jar to be easily opened. This is especially fun after the jar has been passed around and everyone looks tired - you effortlessly open the jar and look smart.

Turn it upside down and bang it on the bottom with the palm of your hand until you hear a little pop in the air seal.

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