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ZorbaTHut  2yr ago (text post)   2752 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for September 7, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Let's test the new site Wednesday Wellness.

So, how do you find something that gives you energy to get out of the bed everyday? My only desire in the last 8 years is going to bed and do not wake up.

Yes, tried meditation, medication, CBT, private therapy, group therapy, exercise, every self-help method I could find... I just need a purpose, damn it! Everything seems so arbitrary and grey and boring and I just feel the feeling of cosmic terror sinking inside me and I do not think I can move, just disappear.

Lame, but 8 hours of magnesium assisted sleep makes it much less of a struggle for me. Optimized: no caffeine, no alcohol, hard exercise almost daily, viewing sunlight at morning and dusk, and a blacked out cold room. I wake up naturally after nearly exactly 8 hours daily, and while i don’t want to get up, i can. I know it’s not what you asked, but just getting up recharged and doing something will help

My wife and kids need me, so I must get up and do what needs to be done. Best motivation I can think of. I don’t think a man can get really motivated without duty, honestly. We’re not really wired that way.

I also work a job with meaning (before that I had a job I liked better fay-to-day, but was less meaningful), which is a big plus for job motivation.

Something's missing. From the stuff you tried, it sounds like maybe it is that you don't spend enough quality time with quality people.

As for myself, I try to keep a stable representation of who I want to be and what I deserve, and then I pay homage to that by getting up, going out, connecting with people, working out, etc.

So, how do you find something that gives you energy to get out of the bed everyday?

Priorities, commitments, obgliation. You have to do something and the pain will be greater if you don't. "Time to go work in the shit factory."

The only reliable thing that gets me out of bed is regular breathing. Just make every breath roughly the same amount as the last breath, for 1-5 minutes.

As for the cosmic terror, I suppose a kind of philosophical idealism keeps me free. The very fact of my existence implies things about the universe. I don't know exactly what things it implies, but it seems to warrant a certain amount of careless groundedness.

I used to be on (I think) dexedrine. I hated it, because it would keep me awake for 20+ hours, even at the lowest dose. One time I took it before bed and woke up 4 hours later feeling more refreshed and energetic than I've ever felt in my life.

I stopped taking it after that, because I got worried that I'd never be able to survive without the stuff if I continued, lol. So I still dread getting out of bed each day.

Have you tried sleep hygiene and such? Make your bed, clean your room, clean sheets, have some nice scent (lavender), only use your bed for sleeping, no phone/computer in bed, no eating/snacking in bed, stuff like that?

how do you find something that gives you energy to get out of the bed everyday?

Coffee and stimulants.

Maybe you should try having someone or something depend on you. A lot of men don't shape up until they're forced to.

Dunno about the latter. When I was on my own and free to go about each day as I pleased I practically jumped out of bed every morning to get at doing the things I wanted to. Now that my life is almost entirely about being a provider and caregiver and the course of each day is mostly outside my control, I stay glued to the bed each morning until I'm forced to force myself to rise.

Coffee still works though.

Agreed. If you don't have a pet, I would recommend getting a dog. Maybe a cat if you don't feel you can take care of the dog or have to leave it for eight hours.

It may seem burdensome but it is useful for keeping yourself to a semi-regular schedule. Also, you can trade petsitting with friends which is a great way to strengthen bonds.

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