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Notes -
Women in male-dominated communities like heavy metal or video games often complain about men gatekeeping them, which typically takes the form of a man aggressively demanding that a woman name three songs by the band whose T-shirt she is wearing.
What women don't realise is that sometimes this gatekeeping is carried out for the woman's own protection, to avoid the woman being accused of tacitly endorsing neo-Nazism and white supremacy, however unintentionally.
/s /s /s
Some of those women just have personality disorders. I remember the first time I was accused of "Gatekeeping" was in 2012.
A woman asked me to teach her to play magic and to " help me build a deck or whatever." I said it's best to learn with something preconstructed before building your own, let's sit down together with some starter decks, and she immediately accused me of Gatekeeping by not letting her make her own deck. Then she said I was just like her Father and her Brother. Then she called me a Niceguy and then a Creep. I guess she was more interested in bullying male geeks than actually engaging in any geeky hobbies.
That's how you know it's time to give someone the cards and knowledge to make a good standard deck and then introduce them to your modern or legacy (or vintage if you're old/rich).
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You know, I think of how I have conversations about mutual interest with my friends. Like say we both just played a game. It immediately launches into how far did you get, did you find the secrets that I found, what difficulty did you play on, etc. Just some fun dick measuring banter. At some point the tide turns and it goes from dick measuring, to earnestly trying to learn a thing or two you might have missed from the other person.
Alas.
I don't even see it as dick measuring. More like trying to figure out how much shared experience of the game I have with them, when I do that.
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I used to play ranked CSGO at a high level and that means for every 1000 male players there was 1 female player.
The problem being the females used to be universally much worse at the game than their elo. Reason being they usually have high level guys willing to play with them and help them go up the ranks. Lingo for doing this was called boosting.
All female players I came across barring none were boosted to oblivion and that made their teammates frustrated. People berate and roast their teammates anyways regardless of demographic, females just got female specific insults thrown their way instead of being called a faggot. Women interpret this as hostility specifically towards them when in reality everyone gets their fair share of hostility. Thats common within all male dominated hobby groups, girls are just not used to those dynamics. When you call your teammate a fucking idiot, its just that he was being a fucking idiot, its not personal.
Certainly in online games in my experience there seems to be little correlation between being a fucking idiot and being called one. The correlation is usually them doing something the other person did not agree with.
I've been called an idiot for piloting a Centurion (a very non-meta pick at the time) because it is my favorite mech. I am playing for fun, they care about winning. We have different goals. Berating teammates is one of the most most annoying parts of online gaming, and I used to play rugby! And online gamers (or some of them at least) manage to be much more committed dicks over a fun bunch of pixels than a bunch of testosterone fueled macho men risking broken bones. Online gaming is I think worse than other male dominated hobby groups in this respect because of the anonymity and distance. and because some people get so attached they think it is more important than it actually is.
It's just a game. If someone messes up, it's ok.
Well then play single player. People playing meme vehicles and doing badly in them in competitive online games where you require cooperation to win are very annoying, and using the word 'idiot' may even be appropriate. After all, typically the team that loses is punished with rewards, thus anyone not pulling their weight is messing it up.
Nah, it isn't. I try to win within the context of each match but if they want to run cookie cutter builds that are super efficient but boring that is entirely their look out. I won't call them idiots for it if that is how they have fun, I just want the same courtesy in return. Having different priorities within the context of the game does not make one an idiot in any way shape or form.
I really don't get how that game works and I'll take it at your word that such a situation is possible.
I mostly play War Thunder where there isn't such a thing as a 'super efficient but boring' build. I guess you could say that about attack helicopters that theoretically can destroy the entire enemy team within 30 seconds, but it's a quasi simulation so if you play them the there's going to be air defence missiles closing in on you at 3-5 machs and that'll be that.
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From the other side, if a game has a competetive mode, you expect your teammates to actually try to win. The teams result affects your elo. I was very high ranked so that wasnt much of a problem. But if you are playing for fun stick to casual mode.
One twist to these kinds of dynamics, as someone who was quite high ranked in a couple of games myself, is that berating your team mates is a poor decision just on the strategy level. You can maybe if you have a good rapport established, suggest other players do something else, especially when citing some game reason, I don't know CS GO but maybe a gun choice is poor because it doesn't fit as well into the team composition this game rather than just being a dumb idiot choice in general. If they push back at all it's pretty much a losing play to continue to antagonize them. You really can go up a few ranks in team base competitive games just by minimizing the number of times your team mates tilt.
In my experience in Red Orchestra 2, playing as a squad leader and berating bad campers so they'd stop hiding and go assault the objective, in worst cases summarily executing them for 'cowardice' kind of worked.
It's also fairly in character - summary execution for failure to carry out orders was a thing in the Red Army.
In other games, explaining why what they're doing is stupid is usually enough - no need to call them idiots.
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Sure, but that doesn't mean everyone has to be in whatever the meta pick is. That makes it boring. I'm still going to try to win in each game, but I'm not going to only be a missile boat or a light speedster just because it's meta if I don't enjoy that.
Competitive or not, unless you're playing for money it's competition for fun. And as per the lore a good chunk of people should be in boring work horse mechs (in my example at least). I might as well say, if a game is based on lore of some kind, you expect your teammates to adhere to that.
But the difference is I don't call them idiots for adhering to boring (in my view) cookie cutter builds. I let them do their thing, even though arguably it also makes the game more boring for me. Because it's their choice.
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MWO? I had a good time without being berated once upon a time, but I hear the player base has enormously shrunk since then. I think as it shrinks, it just gets sweatier and sweatier.
Indeed, and it was hit and miss back in the day. I haven't played in a decent amount of time though to confirm if it is better or worse now.
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In my experience, there is little correlation between how one perceives their own performance, and how a neutral ovserver would. Non-Asian people tend to overestimate their capability, which is in psychology called Illusory superiority.
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