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The idea that you should find a partner by fucking around through your teens and twenties until you find a girl you want to keep is incredibly recent, though. Basically Europe/Anglo only, between 1960s and now.
What makes conservative sexual policy stupid is trying to reject the Sexual Revolution for people their children’s age while keeping all the related social frameworks and assumptions that underlie it.
So you get ‘sex when you’re young is bad’ combined with ‘arranged/facilitated marriages are evil because they prevent twu wuv, as is anything that even slightly impinges on women’s sexual autonomy’. You can have either position but not really both, especially when you cripple your childrens’ game and then throw them into the tinder meat market at 20.
You are right about the recency, but sadly wrong about the spread. Hollywood and Harvard have exported the sexual revolution around the world, with a little help from the US military. The false life plan is now the standard across much of Latin America and Asia. I think Muslims in the Middle East and Africa are the last line of defense humanity has against this poison.
In particular, mainstream conservative boomers have brought into the cult of education and careerism, especially for women, and expect everyone to not even think about marriage until after they graduate college at 22 and spend a more few years getting established in the workforce. In this, they are in complete agreement with the progressives, dissenting only in believing that chastity should be preserved until then.
But, of course, humans are not made to be virgins until 25; we reach sexual maturity in our teens. That is when we are meant to start having sex and becoming independent of our parents. Instead, we rot in classrooms memorizing random trivia and practicing useless skills, enforced by a legal and social regime that views teen marriage and teen labor as barbaric abuse.
The only possible results are stunted or disobedient individuals.
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Yes, the ability to have sex and be more or less guaranteed for that not to result in pregnancy is an incredibly recent development; and the kinds of people who take advantage of that technology (and encourage taking advantage of the same) tend to be somewhat less encumbered than what the past several million years of evolution suggest they should be, to the point that someone closer to that prediction would/should believe that a serious malfunction.
There are two types of conservatives: those who have realized this and ally with the less-encumbered as described above, and those who turn inwards and die (their daughters become progressives immediately after leaving the house and remain that way for the rest of their lives, and their sons don't figure out becoming progressive is a bad move until it's too late for them to ever leave the basement).
What about instead noting that we’ve done quite well at stopping underage sex and taking the required next step: reviving the social apparatus for allowing responsible (by the conservative rubric) young people to find a healthy mate, while shutting out the thots? It doesn’t require much to start, just a practice of actively coordinating unattached acquaintances of the right age.
I was speaking to a Chinese person yesterday: her husband is a 667 programmer and therefore relatively wealthy but unable to date. Her cousin interacted with his cousin, they swapped photos, then WeChat contacts, and the marriage was two months later.
But I’ve noticed that Western parents are simultaneously incredibly intrusive and demanding about careers whilst absolutely rejecting any responsibility for their hothoused children’s marriage. I don’t get it. Well, half the problem is that most of said parents are divorced, but I still find it incredibly annoying.
These two things are at odds. If you believe teenagers should be thoroughly desexualized (and if you even use the term "underage" that way, you likely do), you're going to think the "right age" is 25-30 for both parties. By that point you have enough sour grapes from the men and enough "thottery" from the women that your "active co-ordination" isn't going to be better than the Tinder status quo. One of the things you want from a marriage is the concept and expectation that you'll grow together, and that's much more likely at 20 than 30.
Indeed, money makes all the difference. The Japanese might have the right idea with the company dating services, and since you only see your spouse for a couple of hours one day a week the dynamics of a marriage aren't exactly going to be that deep.
It's the same thing you just described, but up one level: if you don't understand how men and women actually work (perhaps because you think man bad woman good, which is the traditionalist-progressive compact, or because you're just not self-aware enough or too tired/don't have time to deal with it, which is the issue with the liberals), then you're not going to be able to fix issues built upon faulty understanding, you're just going to make them worse.
I think I haven’t communicated my perspective well. I think that a good marriage time is say 21-25.
Two months is admittedly brief but part of the point of having a supportive infrastructure is that people shouldn’t need or expect to be fucking around in their teenage years. So the resentment/thottery dynamic shouldn’t take off so much. And yes, I think that we should discourage media that tries to display fucking around and experimenting as being a natural part of growing up, since it isn’t and never has been.
Part of the reason I prefer doing it this way is admittedly selfish - I fell into the situation described and would like society to uphold its end of the bargain. But the other half is that I don’t believe the ‘promiscuity then marriage’ dynamic works for more than 30-40% of the population at most. Maybe another 30% get married but are already kind of bitter and difficult by that point, and the rest stay in perpetual bachelordom of either too much sex or too little.
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