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naraburns  nihil supernum  2yr ago (text post)   2825 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for October 19, 2022

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

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What advice do people here have for living among people they can't stand or see as ideological enemies? I'm very contrarian. I have foolishly bought into the narratives from both the right and the left about why their opposing parties are bad but neither of the narratives from either party about why their own party is good. I have a very low opinion of nearly all fellow Americans. I have been traveling outside of the US for the better part of the year and it has been fantastic being able to meet people who barely know who Donald Trump is, but I'm absolutely dreading going back to the US and being pulled back into the muck and the entirely degrading discourse of the political environment. To make matters worse, I am self employed and can work from anywhere so any return to the US would be by my own will and it will absolutely make me feel like an idiot to be back in the culture I'm so happy to be away from. Though I will be happy to see my family again and experience the big beautiful open empty spaces and long straight roads that lead nowhere. (Those are the things I miss the most.)

So, yeah, any advice? Do I just need to get over myself and practice acceptance and just meet people where they're at? I had a really (to me) innocuous vaguely centrist comment get downvoted into oblivion tonight on reddit and it's triggering the same irritation that I felt every day while I was in the US so I just wanted to get some help from people who might be able to relate to being a contrarian in a world where everyone seems so invested in things you'd rather ignore. I wish I could go back to before 2016 when I didn't care at all about politics and was able to ignore the news. Should I quit reading the news and places like themotte cold turkey? I just find this place really intellectually stimulating in a way that I don't experience elsewhere so it would be such a loss to me if I didn't keep lurking here, but at the same time it's not helping me think more kindly of my fellow man

Albuquerque is middling-blue and Rio Rancho, a suburb which became a city, is middling-red. I get a sense here that politics is something which happens elsewhere, except at election time.

Both are mid-sized cities, 570,000 for Albuquerque, the 32nd-most populous city in the United States and the fourth-largest in the Southwest, and 105,000 for Rio Rancho.

There are tons of people in the US who don't care at all about politics. Find them. Or find like-minded people in the US and move to where they are.

What advice do people here have for living among people they can't stand or see as ideological enemies?

Move.

Did you read my post? I have been out of the US for the better part of the year now, I am having a great time not being near any Americans, but I don't want to live outside of the US long term. I essentially see everyone in the US as someone I can't stand or as an ideological enemy to some degree, but find the infrastructure of the US as the most hospitable place for me to live, long term, for practical reasons. Your reply isn't particularly helpful since I'm inclined to make peace with my neighbors at some point rather than run away from them like I have for most of my life.

If it makes you feel any better, both major parties are pretty hard at work on ruining the US, so it may not be the best place to live for much longer.

We're on the same page, but where do you realistically think is a better place to live?

I don't know. Switzerland, maybe? Low taxes, high wages, smart people, and excellent graphics. Singapore seems cool, too. Taiwan has low wages, but would otherwise be a pretty swell place if not for the threat from China.

Sounds like you already have a plan in mind and don't need advice.

My plan is to make peace with my neighbors, but I want advice for how to do so. I don't know where to begin. If I didn't need advice I wouldn't be here asking for it.

There's no magic trick to having positive human relationships, dude. Have you never small talked before? Asked someone about their day? It's not hard to have a casually positive relationship with your neighbors -- just be friendly when you talk to them.

I essentially see everyone in the US as someone I can't stand or as an ideological enemy to some degree

If you feel that America is hopelessly polarized, if you feel that all Americans are living and breathing only politics, it might be only your "bubble" you are living in.

Remember, 40-50% of eligible American voters steadily do not even bother to register and vote. Do you hate them too? Are they also your enemies?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voter_turnout_in_United_States_presidential_elections#Turnout_statistics

but find the infrastructure of the US as the most hospitable place for me to live, long term, for practical reasons.

Can you be more concrete what "infrastructure" you mean? The world is big place, bigger than you imagine, what specific American thing is there you cannot find anywhere else?

Remember, 40-50% of eligible American voters steadily do not even bother to register and vote. Do you hate them too? Are they also your enemies?

No, I am not registered to vote either. Like I said in my first post, I would prefer to return to the way I lived before 2016 when I happily ignored politics and didn't have strong opinions about political issues. But now I feel I've read so much about politics that I can no longer see people as having an opinion that they've come to on their own, but rather that every opinion I encounter is downstream of broader political culture war issues. It makes me feel so cynical and hopeless.

Can you be more concrete what "infrastructure" you mean?

Yes. I like the visuals of America between the coasts. I like the huge roads, big vehicles, straight highways that go on for miles and miles, the anonymity, the lack of a cloying, overinterested community that defines the rest of the world. 24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country. I have been to about 20 different countries, and while traveling abroad is my favorite activity, at the end of the day every country makes me feel claustrophobic compared to the US. There is no where in the world with the same degree of freedom of open spaces, space between you and others, space for ideological freedom and freedom to live your life the way you want. France has beautiful food and incredible architecture but you can't eat dinner at any time but between 7pm and 9pm and I was chided for having my car face the wrong direction while pumping gas a few months ago. Why I have to have my license plate visible to a camera while getting gas, I don't know, but that's just the one millionth difference between the US and most countries that irritate me. I could come up with a handful of other specific American things I couldn't find anywhere else, but those are the biggest irritations to me off the top of my head.

I like the huge roads, big vehicles, straight highways that go on for miles and miles, the anonymity, the lack of a cloying, overinterested community that defines the rest of the world. 24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country.

I would tell you to try Ukraine, but it's not the best place to live in rn.

Half of the country might have too high landmine content right now, but the other half should be a solid investment opportunity.

Yes. I like the visuals of America between the coasts.

24 hour grocery stores and gas stations all across the country.

This is true. Wide open empty spaces are found all over the world, but wide open empty spaces you can cross safely and comfortably are indeed only in America. In Sahara or Gobi desert, in Argentinian pampa or Brazilian cerrado you are on your own.

Even big trip across/around Australia is something not comparable to coast to coast ride.

https://www.jorishermans.com/blog/road-trip-battle-east-coast-australia-vs-west-coast-usa

Fortunately, when you are alone in your big car on the big road, you do not have to care about your obnoxious compatriots.

edit: link fixed

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