The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
-
Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
-
Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
-
Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
-
Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
TL;DR:
I do not want her to become reliant on me to exercise for a few reasons:
Some background on her and us:
My plan:
Any other advice or ideas that have worked for you all, man or woman?
Why is the amount of exercise so important to you? Don't you know that body fat amount is determined nearly entirely by diet?
Exercise and type of exercise, genetics, and age are all important factors in the degree of body fat, and in the case of genetics, its distribution. I'd agree, however, that sorting out one's diet is key. Unfortunately I think that can only be done from intrinsic (i.e. personal) motivation.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
She might do better to find a physically active hobby that she enjoys and/or a physically demanding performance goal that she cares about enough to train for. Or just integrating a higher level of activity into her daily routine (though this is obviously contingent on logistics)--self-propelled commuting and/or errands, treadmill desk, whatever. A modest actuarial improvement in health outcomes is not enough to motivate most people to do something that would otherwise be pointless.
I'd also not expect much change in her appearance/body composition merely from starting to exercise. Lots of people can quite easily eat enough to keep up with whatever energy output they can sustain. If she's not bound and determined to change her physique, her physique probably isn't going to change much.
Alternatively, get her into a punishment/humiliation kink and have her do burpees and tuck jumps and so on as punishment, as per a greentext that I can't find at the moment.
(ETA: https://imgur.com/bdsm-AD4fXMr)
More options
Context Copy link
I don't have any experiences with these things, but going to the gym together seems like a great way to find time to socialize with each other while you get your lifts in. I saw lots of couples when I was going to the gym a few months ago, and it seemed like a great way to spend time between sets.
If she's on the treadmill, then it's a bit different, because if I'm exercising hard on there, I won't be able to talk. But I second CertainlyWorse's advice on building a habit for her. If you go to the gym yourself, it should be easy to schedule something and shift the time around a bit.
More options
Context Copy link
I haven't done this, but you could consider building a regular exercise habit with her over 3 months or so and then encouraging her to exercise alone (and telling her why; eg that you want her to learn how to do it alone as you won't always be there to bring her). Like you, I think a habit (system) is better than a target.
Otherwise, consider if weight gain will be a deal-breaker in your relationship and do it early before you get married/join finances/have a child together. By weight gain I mean eventual long term descent into chronic obesity, not temporary weight gain from having a child. This might seem hyperbolic, but its a much harder issue to deal with later in a long term relationship or life partnership. Might as well stare it in the face sooner rather than later.
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link