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I mean, that's my point. Elon still jokes like what he says doesn't matter, while enjoying the audience adulation he gets because it does matter.
If he was in any way serious, oh, Lord.
Though a run in at MNF where a drunk Jason Kelce punches Elon Musk to defend his brother's honor would be THE BEST.
Travis (not Jason) Kelce knocking Elon's teeth in would be the culture war Big Bang to set everything right again.
The King of Chad DudeBro's who is dating the queen of The Popular Girls erases high flying nerd who got too big for his britches.
Cue Kickstart my Heart by Motely Crue while Zombie Regan drives a Pontiac Firebird straight into the Oval Office.
Why Travis over Jason specifically? I picked Jason because it has the added layer of male brotherhood, and because his retirement removes the in game impact.
The offensive line doesn't score points. If you don't score points, nobody cares.
That's be being hyberbolic and, as a football fan, I, of course, understand how important line play is. Offensive line dudes, in particular, tend to be highly intelligent.
I chose Travis because I'm writing a farcical vignette on the internet about celebrities fighting.
Ah but in Philly the offensive line was scoring points
In all honesty I didn't appreciate just how crazy the brotherly shove was until I watched it live. It's insane. You could feel the tension on the defense, they know EXACTLY what's coming and know they're unlikely to stop it.
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Ah, but who paid the bartender to over-serve Jason? Elon did. And who has been taking the best Brazilian jiujitsu night classes money can buy for a year and a half in preparation for this moment? Elon has. And when Elon vanquishes Jason in hand-to-hand combat as Taylor looks on, mouth agape and heart aflutter, and with all of America watching in stunned adoration, that’s the perfect time for him to make his move.
(And that’s when it becomes very important for you guys to have come up with an airtight plan to make sure the Hoffmeister Sauce Switcheroo will go off without a hitch. We have one shot at this, guys.)
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