site banner

Culture War Roundup for the week of September 9, 2024

This weekly roundup thread is intended for all culture war posts. 'Culture war' is vaguely defined, but it basically means controversial issues that fall along set tribal lines. Arguments over culture war issues generate a lot of heat and little light, and few deeply entrenched people ever change their minds. This thread is for voicing opinions and analyzing the state of the discussion while trying to optimize for light over heat.

Optimistically, we think that engaging with people you disagree with is worth your time, and so is being nice! Pessimistically, there are many dynamics that can lead discussions on Culture War topics to become unproductive. There's a human tendency to divide along tribal lines, praising your ingroup and vilifying your outgroup - and if you think you find it easy to criticize your ingroup, then it may be that your outgroup is not who you think it is. Extremists with opposing positions can feed off each other, highlighting each other's worst points to justify their own angry rhetoric, which becomes in turn a new example of bad behavior for the other side to highlight.

We would like to avoid these negative dynamics. Accordingly, we ask that you do not use this thread for waging the Culture War. Examples of waging the Culture War:

  • Shaming.

  • Attempting to 'build consensus' or enforce ideological conformity.

  • Making sweeping generalizations to vilify a group you dislike.

  • Recruiting for a cause.

  • Posting links that could be summarized as 'Boo outgroup!' Basically, if your content is 'Can you believe what Those People did this week?' then you should either refrain from posting, or do some very patient work to contextualize and/or steel-man the relevant viewpoint.

In general, you should argue to understand, not to win. This thread is not territory to be claimed by one group or another; indeed, the aim is to have many different viewpoints represented here. Thus, we also ask that you follow some guidelines:

  • Speak plainly. Avoid sarcasm and mockery. When disagreeing with someone, state your objections explicitly.

  • Be as precise and charitable as you can. Don't paraphrase unflatteringly.

  • Don't imply that someone said something they did not say, even if you think it follows from what they said.

  • Write like everyone is reading and you want them to be included in the discussion.

On an ad hoc basis, the mods will try to compile a list of the best posts/comments from the previous week, posted in Quality Contribution threads and archived at /r/TheThread. You may nominate a comment for this list by clicking on 'report' at the bottom of the post and typing 'Actually a quality contribution' as the report reason.

8
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

I mean, presumably it’s only funny coming from me because there is no plausible path whatsoever to me actually impregnating Taylor Swift. (Teardrops drench my screen protector as the finality of this admission fully sinks in.) Whereas Elon, I think, sincerely means it and thinks there’s at least a non-zero chance she’d express interest. If I was in Musk’s position I’d probably shoot my shot too, although I’d like to imagine he has the resources and clout to arrange a more favorable venue to attempt that conversation with her, rather than a flippant tweet. What do I know, though?

Now if anyone here wants to help me concoct an elaborate plan to surreptitiously swap my sperm donor sample in for Elon’s, I am all ears. I will contribute little or nothing to the logistics or execution stages, as I need to conserve my energy and limit stress to ensure I’m producing the best possible sample.

I mean, that's my point. Elon still jokes like what he says doesn't matter, while enjoying the audience adulation he gets because it does matter.

If he was in any way serious, oh, Lord.

Though a run in at MNF where a drunk Jason Kelce punches Elon Musk to defend his brother's honor would be THE BEST.

Travis (not Jason) Kelce knocking Elon's teeth in would be the culture war Big Bang to set everything right again.

The King of Chad DudeBro's who is dating the queen of The Popular Girls erases high flying nerd who got too big for his britches.

Cue Kickstart my Heart by Motely Crue while Zombie Regan drives a Pontiac Firebird straight into the Oval Office.

Why Travis over Jason specifically? I picked Jason because it has the added layer of male brotherhood, and because his retirement removes the in game impact.

The offensive line doesn't score points. If you don't score points, nobody cares.


That's be being hyberbolic and, as a football fan, I, of course, understand how important line play is. Offensive line dudes, in particular, tend to be highly intelligent.

I chose Travis because I'm writing a farcical vignette on the internet about celebrities fighting.

Ah but in Philly the offensive line was scoring points

In all honesty I didn't appreciate just how crazy the brotherly shove was until I watched it live. It's insane. You could feel the tension on the defense, they know EXACTLY what's coming and know they're unlikely to stop it.

Though a run in at MNF where a drunk Jason Kelce punches Elon Musk to defend his brother's honor would be THE BEST.

Ah, but who paid the bartender to over-serve Jason? Elon did. And who has been taking the best Brazilian jiujitsu night classes money can buy for a year and a half in preparation for this moment? Elon has. And when Elon vanquishes Jason in hand-to-hand combat as Taylor looks on, mouth agape and heart aflutter, and with all of America watching in stunned adoration, that’s the perfect time for him to make his move.

(And that’s when it becomes very important for you guys to have come up with an airtight plan to make sure the Hoffmeister Sauce Switcheroo will go off without a hitch. We have one shot at this, guys.)