100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
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User ID: 2039
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1hr ago
For more perspective here is my resume
Your projects section is counter-productive. Don't tell me what you've built - show me.
Setup a GitHub repo and sling whatever code you have already developed at it. Then writeup a 1000 or so word guide on how you did everything.
Constantly apply to every job listing
This is a low success strategy and will burn you out. You're still early in your career so I empathize but the reality of the matter is that you do need to be networking with people so that when you need a job or you want to move up for more money, your talking to a human whom you know and who knows you already. Resume blasting was mostly dead five years ago and with AI HR systems it is 100% dead today.
Networking in a nutshell:
- Find people who are working on things in areas that genuinely interest you. Twitter is bizarrely high leverage for this. I have scored many clients via cold DM on twitter because they posted something like "I am working on a banana counting machine" and I DM'ed with "That seems cool. I've been in the banana counting game for 10 years. Want to trade notes?"
- Add value in whatever small way you can without expecting anything in return. The default way this is done in networking is to recycle your network meaning you see that Person X is into thing Y, and you also know that Person Z is into thing Y. You introduce them. That's sort of networking 101. I think a better strategy is to shoot random e-mails / texts / DMs to people you already know asking for nothing but a 15 minute catch up call. No objectives, just listen to them talk about work. People like to be heard, a the kids say, and just kind of generally strategizing about work and career with other people pays off well if you're actively engaged and earnest present with it. If you're not, you'll come across as a scuzzy network robot.
- Returning to twitter - this is where real tech networks exist and evolve. Linkedin is a hellscape for jobseekers and ... in general. There are some things that Linkedin is really useful for (mostly, getting to people who are Linkedin addicts but have budget and authority). I'd say skip it or use lightly.
- (And this one, I think is 100x more true in the age of LLMs) Have a digital public presence that is your own. Not linkedin, not even twitter. Build a blog. Substack is getting pretty cringe and hearing someone say "hey take a look at my substack" is almost a counter-signal. There are plenty of other plug-and-play blogs that don't force branding and their platform into your face. If you're already semi-regularly posting on forums, you can carve out the 1 - 3 hours per week it takes to post a solid 1000 word blog post. Once a week is fine for someone employed full time.
One of the many failures of the boomers was in failing to teach their children the reality of networking and jobs. My own folks, as much as I truly do love them and as much as my upbringing was 11/10 fucking awesome, failed at this as well. I was told, up until college, that you got a job by working hard, having a slick resume and a good handshake. Then I got to a fancy college and all of my friends who had grown up knowing the game went "lol, no, bro, it's networking."
Whatever the outcome of LLMs, I'm quite certain that the returns to cultivating deep relationships will grow ever higher. I feel good and bad about this. It's good to have meaningful connections to real people but, on the other hand, schizo posting with you degenerates is fun the entire original promise of the internet was that physical proximity no matter constrained meaningful knowledge sharing and productive interaction. I suppose the remedy would be a fundamentally new protocol that enforces "humanness." Twitter's recent bot nuke is a gesture in this diretion, but now I am getting off topic.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2hr ago
Experimented with so-called "hostage tape" because I am worried about becoming a mouth-sleeper-breather.
So far it sucks. It manged one good nap with it but, at night, it seems to lose its adhesiveness and fall off. Then, to add insult to injury, in the morning it looks like I was snacking on Oreos in bed. There's a noticeable black reside about my lips.
Silver lining; the breathe right nasal strips really do work, imho.
Anyone have any history in converting themselves from a mouth breathing caveperson to a nose breathing patrician?
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2hr ago
What if I am strictly a Caucasian dater?
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
She could have pushed against all that, but by being older, a lot of the default choices were already locked in by him. It would have taken a lot of effort to change some of those defaults,
She could've also stopped dating him, right?
"locked in by him" is written in - literally - the passive voice. How passive is this woman?
Every couple, before marriage, should absolutely sit down and have complete conversations about finances, divisions of responsibility, future plans (where to live), career expectations, etc. If there's a hard disagreement on something, this is a good time to walk away without signing the most consequential legal document of your life.
The woman you described above affirmatively agreed to every single item you listed by signing the marriage license. There is no power differential.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
but the issue is that many, if not most, of the ways we describe the social role of men are in some sense zero sum, and in such an environment there will be social defeat.
I believe this to be true right now in our very fucked up social reality, but there's a ton of historical prescription for how to remedy this.
Male only small groups.
The last remnants of this today are found in the military. You can be totally average across the board and even below average in a few things and still be considered to be a "good marine" if you just get the basics right; show up on time, clean uniform, clean rifle, Yes Sir, No Sir, can exeucte orders. You may not ever progress up the hierarchical ladder, but you can still enjoy the esteem of your peers and superiors within the group because you're a net benefit, however small, to the overall group mission.
Hyperindividualism turns this "collective net benefit" into an adversarial ranking in which you are competing both with the defined "enemy" (who is preventing you from accomplishing your mission) and within the group itself for status.
People bemoans the lack of "loyalty" from companies to their employees, even long tenured ones. It's worth noting that this concept was its strongest when the workforce was still strongly majority male.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
I agree with what you say here and in many other posts.
The biggest single policy device would be to end no-fault divorce and to make adultery a crime (perhaps without incarceration time).
"Til death do you part" has to mean what it says.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
jailbroken woman
Thank you for this bon mot.
despite having intentionally optimized for finding such a girl
Any tips for the young trad turboautists on the bored to replicate your success?
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
Can you maybe offer, at least, some perspective or background on why you feel this way?
Right now, this post is just three or so "boo outgroup" assertions.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
1d ago
goes to the Bahamas to cry on a cruise ship
Don't get a Bahamas mourning wife, get you a St. Barts mourning wife.
Got a few million? / start chasin a billion.
Aim higher, king.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
which is now being taken by a young floozy.
My research into step-children on various adult oriented documentary websites suggests this outcome is often welcomed by the male heirs.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
but when she's 65 and at the age when most people are looking to enjoy their retirement, he's going to be at the age when most people are looking at assisted living.
This thread also made me think about just this.
I wonder if we won't see some sort of "divorce of love" memetic concept develop. That, in age-gap relationship, the elder partner, once they hit say 80 or so, permits the other partner to date freely again in order to spare them of unintentional hospice nurse status.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
I agree that this is probably just a rationalization. If the couple consists of a man and woman who are from two very different ethno-cultural backgrounds, I doubt you would hear this objection.
This is gold. Seriously.
"Age-gaps, am I right"
"ohmygod yesssssss uggghhh"
"Miscegenation, am I right"
"..."
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
Most "redpill" pickup artist advice basically boils down to "find an emotional unstable and needy women. Then, use these tactics to manipulate her into sleeping with you."
If that's the strategy a guy chooses, he's going to overexpose himself to emotionally unstable and needy women. It makes sense that would create a false perception of the median woman and therefore lead to a lot of misogyny despite the "success" of the pickup artist.
The corollary to that is strippers. (Side note: I should do my effortpost on strippers). Having dated a few of them in my pre-Jesus days, they all develop a cynical misandry-lite because so many of their male interactions are with drunk men attempting to do or say nasty things to them. Strippers do have an extra cognitive dissonance; many, many of them are hardcore progressives who believe what they're doing is "sexual empowerment" manifest. That this, in reality, entails literally crawling around naked for money thrown at them by cro-magnons means their mental model of the world is much like a snake eating its own tale tail.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
Makes sense. It's men playing indirect chess with one another via their daughters. Yes, very patriarchal but actively with the intent of a better, or, at least, better risk adjusted outcome for their daughters.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
That's a better examination of it. Thanks.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
as a practical matter, a lot of women really don't actually like the fruits of the sexual revolution.
Agreed, and I'll take it further (farther?)
A lot of men don't either. The very heavy movie Shame is somewhat about this. Although it's further down the line and gets into themes of real sex addiction, the movie can also be seen as the emptiness that comes from being a really rich and hot dude who sleeps with whoever he wants.
This post is an excellent summary of how many, many of the online "pickup artists" have success across a decade or more and bed perhaps hundreds or thousands of women ... and then lose their fucking minds.
To me, it's almost a "fish don't know what water is because they live in it" situation in terms of how obviously sexual libertinism is actively harmful to 99% of humans and the 1% who it does "work for" are pretty much sexual pathologists who we should highlight as cautionary tales for mental disorders instead of "liberated" heroes.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
Like a 40 year old who only wants to date people 18-20? Pretty suspicious.
For a male....No? Nothing at all suspicious.
20 - 30 is objectively when women are most physically attractive to men of all ages. When I was in 8th grade I had Megan Fox or whoever - that is, women older than me as objects of fantasy. My Dad remembers 1990s Cindy Crawford - younger than him then (and, now, too fwiw).
How is this suspicious?
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
power [...] differential
Can you define this for me? What does "power differential" mean in the Western context?
Is this like the Dragonball-Z thing where power levels are quantifiable?
Because, to my understanding, in most (all?) western nations, men and women have totally equivalent rights. There's a lot and, somehow, growing legislation in the U.S. to guarantee this. Where exactly is the extra or additional "power" that a husband has over his wife?
Money? Well, ok. If the wife decided to rely on the man to pay for everything isn't that like her decision? It's not like bridestealing is legal.
Age? Even more of a "wha?" from me. Do old guys get magic powers at 50 that let them bamboozle young maidens? Do women under the age of 30 not have their full faculties developed yet (wait, don't answer that. Yass queen slay at any age).
The entire "power dynamic" or "power differential" trope seems absurd to me. Obviously couples often have one partner who is domineering and authoritative. I don't think that's a good thing but the antidote to that is telling both men and women to not let their partner walk all over them. Furthermore, are there also copious examples of couples loving and respecting one another despite massive actual power imbalances? Isn't that kind of the point of a lot of traditional marriage rituals and covenants?
"Power dynamic" seems to be yet another instance of suicidal absolution in which we tell mostly women - "Oh, you have no agency in your own relationship (that you entered into voluntarily) but that's okay because (somehow) this awful, awful man is using his power differential to "gaslight" you."
Either women over 18 (or 20? 21? 25?) have legally and socially incontestable ability to make and abide by their own decisions or else we have to start taking the crazies' "make women property" argument seriously.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
I don't understand what you are saying.
EDIT: nvm. You're a weird troll who is seconds away from another permaban. Sorry for misunderstanding.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
(Replying to the meat of your post)
Good writeup, but you've wasted your considerable analytic ability on a topic that's explained, sadly, by something basic and ugly.
Female jealousy.
(Relatively) older women who really have a problem with AGRs are disproportionately not in any relationship whatsoever. Ask a married woman and you'll get a shrug and, at most, "Yeah, I guess maybe it's a little old. Whatever." The only exception to this rule is if said married women is deep into the progressive left or socially hectoring right.
The intrasexual competition dynamics for women are different than men. Middle aged husbands don't really fear that Chad the pool boy is going to seduce their wife after three kids have done three-kids worth of damage to her body. In terms of direct competition, it's hilarious to envision a situation in which that same Chad confronts the husband at Buffalo Wild Wings and goes, _"Hey, brah! Just want to let you know I'm coming after that sweet Karen you got at home." If such an implausible situation were to occur, I'd bet heavily on the Husband countering with a Dad Joke along the lines of "....Do you promise? Garage code is 1234." [Footnote 1]
This is not the same with older vs younger women. Go to a wedding. Watch a bridesmaid talk totally-non-flirtatiously (seriously) with one of the Husband milling about searching for good finger food and free beer. If that young lady fucks up does the "arm touch" after a Dad Joke, you can actually hear his Wife's radar lock onto the young harpy. The trope of "he left me and married his secretary" was so strong for so long because it was fucking real. Geographic proximity plus regular interaction plus basic physical attraction = relationship.
AGR discrimination is female mate guarding at about the same level as classic slut shaming. Basic stuff.
Footnote 1: This is the present situation in the West. This probably used to be less of the case. In classic / ancient literature, there is a common archetype of a young, righteous warrior or prince fighting the evil old king to then capture (willingly that is, as in a prize) the kept Queen / Princess. This likely reflects the reality that young up and comers might actually try to ace (as in kill) the current powerful male in the local clan / tribe / what have you. However, this was also probably done for very cut and dry power and influence reasons - the Queen was a political asset. It was probably relatively unlikely the young upstart was actually romantically infatuated with the beleaguered lady monarch.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
Recently I read that a well respected football coach -- Bill Belichick -- was denied admission to the Football hall of fame based on the fact that he is in a romantic relationship with a woman who is much younger than him.
Pump the breaks. This is not the reason why he was denied his first attempt at the HOF.
First off, first ballot HOF isn't exactly rare, but it's a big deal. A lot of players get a non-negligible number of votes their first year of eligibility and then the next year, or even several years after, actually make it across the threshold. Belichicks' NFL career was, quantitatively and statistically, incredible. But he had some black marks against him. The Patriots had numerous credible accusations of cheating during the Brady-Belichick era. Furthermore, Belichick is a notorious asshole on a personal level. So much so that Tom Brady, starting last year, began granting open interviews where he states "Yeah, the coach I won six superbowls with actually was such a boner at the end I decided to GTFO."
At another level of analysis, some NFL fans - including me - aren't convinced Belichick was the mastermind coaching genius he gets credit for. The theory goes that Brady was really the "X factor" for the Patriots dynasty. The major piece of evidence in favor of this is that a 40+ year old Brady leaves the Patriots and then quickly wins the Superbowl with Tampa Bay against Patrick Mahomes in his prime.
All of that is aside the primary point imho - Belichick is an asshole and has been since long before he started dating the FemmeBot. In the NFL, the group of coaches who hang around for more than ten years is fucking tiny. They all know each other, they all know the owners (who are heavily involved in the HoF process). It is a High School popularity contest and people remember that one time 9 years ago when you were a dick to them at the party.
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
After realizing that consistently successful investing/trading is to a very large degree a mental and emotional game.
Knew a career Wall Street guy who once said something to the effect of "If monks didn't take a vow of poverty, they would crush all of us" (can't remember the exact quote. It was more pithy).
100ProofTollBooth
Dumber than a man, but faster than a dog.
2d ago
Polanyi's The Tacit Dimension.non-amazon link.
Started it today and I like that it isn't written in the typical academic philosophy structure. Which is partially why, according to the forward, Polanyi never got any real traction within that community (in a relative sense; he was lecturing at a bunch of prestigious universities for decades).
I'm reading it in the context of "lol, is AI gonna make us all permanent serfs?" and, in that context, it's quite uplifting. "We can know more than we can say" and tradition, broadly defined, being not only advantageous but necessary to the true production and development of knowledge means the clankers, as effective as they are, can't actually cover the entire area of human-level problem spaces.
I agree and like the civic ritual framing.
An additional angle is that a lot of people on the left have this deeply seeded sense that Men's Hockey takes the spotlight awayfrom the Virtuous Valkyries of Women's Hockey. This is why they're aren't constant viral articles about the NHL during the regular NHL season.
And interesting comparison to make is with the cringey hyper fawning of both the mainstream media and much of twitter over the Racoon Haired Ice Skating queen (I can't remember he name ... Aileen? Or is that the PLA Skier?). While I respect her gold medal accomplishment, I fail to see any reason for attraction. She's a mix of aweirdo chungus manic pixie dream girl. I've seen ring leaning twitter accounts call her "bubbly." I've seen girlboss millenials call her "everything" (which isn't specific enough to help). My operating theory is that the winter olympics create a Women Are Wonderful hyper-booster. I'm not sure why (in the Summer olympics I feel like only gymnastics is similar).
Returning to Hockey, I think the Men's Team hate is a clunky means, in part, to try and shoehorn the Women's Team into this Women Are Wonderful gravity distortion field.
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