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PaperclipPerfector  6mo ago (text post)   2068 thread views

Wellness Wednesday for May 8, 2024

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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Is this or are these interactions where it's all been online in the set-up phase?

Both, otherwise I wouldn't be being hugged.

I got my heart broken back in 2019 and it never healed right. I just want to go on dates with people and feel like I'm being given a chance to present myself before being rejected.

I'm not totally clear on hugged here, that doesn't or does mean a physical hugging? I probably sound obtuse here but I am woefully ignorant of how the online courtship scene currently functions.

Actual physical hugging with no dating apps involved. This is a woman who I met at a show, she turned up to one date, we had a great time, then every single date since then she bailed on until I got the message and stopped asking. Then I bump into her again and she runs over and hugs me. I asked her out again, she said yes, then bailed. Three months later, I run into her yet again, get that same reaction, ask her out again, she says yes, she bails, I stop going places where I might run into her.

And the online courtship scene doesn't function.

I am old and out of touch, so take this with the proper skepticism. Clearly you need to just not ask her out. If you run into her, get your hug, have a pleasant conversation, and let that be the end of it. Presumably she has your number etc.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me three times, I won't get fooled again. (/bush2)

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