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How am I supposed to know this? What does even mean? She’s at a bar/club/house party - a milieu where everyone is aware that at least some number of people there are interested in meeting prospective sexual partners. She’s unaccompanied by a man, so I have no reason to believe she’s spoken for. She’s talking to me and hasn’t wandered off or thrown a drink in my face or whatever, so clearly she’s at the very least not actively repulsed by me. So why would I assume she would “never in a million years” have sex with me?
If you have to ask, the answer is no. I.e., I think the moral thing is to view the default as "no consent" and require positive evidence to move to "consent." If you can't count to ten, you can't give that evidence. I don't even think that's overdone liberal nonsense, of which there's a lot on this subject.
Concretely, if she's so much drunker than me and hotter than me that I can not picture her feeling less than grossly violated tomorrow, then the sex feels very rapey. If I think we're both buzzed and we might both feel a little gross about it tomorrow, then shrug, she made her choices.
I in practice solve these complex moral dilemmas by being old, boring and sober. It's remarkable how much complex modern feminist 'BUT WHAT IS CONSENT EXACTLY' goes away if you allow the answer to be even as serious as "a thing two people who are multiple dates do while sober".
Right, as I said to @hydroacetylene, I’m in agreement with you about the clear and obvious superiority of conservative, monogamy-centric sexual norms over the Wild West chaos we have now. However, if the chaotic world of presumed equal agency between men and women is going to continue to prevail, and women are going to continue to drink publicly and to at least sometimes fully consent to sex with men under circumstances which are inherently ambiguous, it strikes me as profoundly unjust to insist that men shoulder the full burden of consequences while women shoulder none.
I have at no point intended my comments to be gendered, although I have almost certainly said man (by which I meant less drunk/larger) and woman (by which I meant more drunk/smaller). Heck, apply it to nonbinary dragonkin.
So, we may agree on ~everything.
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