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Notes -
Thanks @gattsuru for reposting my prior screed on engagement rings so I don't have to.
Additional answers:
I proposed in a fake surprise down on one knee way. She knew it was coming but I didn't involve her in ring shopping or anything. I think involving her in ring shopping can be bad in that she'll be aware of the compromises, where when she is surprised by it she'll be pleased with whatever you choose. Personally I'm more worried about having to tell her that I can't/won't afford X than about her disliking the thing I get.
In my opinion, the bands exchanged at your wedding should be plain gold. This makes sure you both have the practical classy always in style plain option right off the bat, and also leaves you room to upgrade later. You can get her a more elaborate wedding band as a Valentine's or anniversary gift years from now. ((This may be specific to me, Mrs. FHM is both very minimalist and very expensive and very choosy, so I have minimal open slots to buy her jewelery))
Congratulations!
It does take away the chance to do a surprise proposal.
But this? Depends on the woman. My wife picked out a heart-cut diamond, with a tiny occlusion that made it lower priced than most diamonds its size. Her show of fondness for something that was cute and unique but kind of untraditional and weird, big but kind of flawed and cheap if you look too closely... it was a really good sign.
My take on this is, if you're ready it shouldn't be any real surprise that you are proposing. The exact details of the proposal can be a surprise, but you don't want to catch her completely off guard with it. So it isn't really a problem to involve her with the ring shopping, because she should already know that you are in the stage of the relationship where it's on the table.
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Interesting. I suppose it could play out that way. I've definitely been in that position when someone shopped for me. I guess that section was hypothetical rather than empirical.
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