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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   27509 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of November 6, 2023

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Are biological clocks no longer ticking?

You're told that you can put it off until you're ready (with no firm definition as to what constitutes readiness). Medical technology is amazing! If you have trouble conceiving, you can always go the IVF route, and if that doesn't work then there is surrogacy. Apple caused some comment a few years back by proposing to pay for female staff to have their eggs frozen - can't have mere kids and family interfering with the precious and sacred bond of career and your employer extracting maximum value from you, so put off your own life until you're old and used-up and they can't squeeze any more benefit out of you - and now I see that this is deemed a perk that employers should offer, what circle of Hell are we in now?

While I don't think you should start having babies the second you turn 20 years old, the notion that "I have to wait till I'm 50 and my employer is ready to scrap-heap me before I can even think of having children" is even more obnoxious.

IVF

One element I feel gets ignored and/or glossed over is the cost. IVF procedures in America cost anywhere from 10k to 30k - there seems to be a wide gap involved, and IIRC, the cost a friend of mine paid was much, much more.

There's also no guarantee the procedure will take, and the longer a woman puts it off, the longer possible existing complications can remain undiscovered(again, this is what happened to the same friend.)

Thankfully, they were able to go oversees to have the procedure done again, but staying a month in Turkey is abit beyond the means of most people.

I wish people were taught better about this, but I worry we've moved to the point where the majority just assumes medical science is basically a magic wand that automatically fixes everything.

There are fertility clinics that say "you can do it here in the USA oh but also we have clinics in Mexico/overseas which are way cheaper".

If you have fertility problems, it's expensive procedures. There are European countries which pay for it on the national health system (now including my own) but they may only pay for one round and if that doesn't take, too bad.

People have indeed been given expectations that they can control their fertility, and that means not getting pregnant until they want to get pregnant (and if they do, then abortion is healthcare and a human right to fix that little problem) and once they want to get pregnant, regardless of age, they should be able to do so and it's the job of the medical system to fix it if they can't.

We're still not totally in control of our own biology, but nobody really wants to face that, because all of us have been sold the promise of Science, Technology, Progress unending and forever and solving all problems.

The other thing that gets ignored is the chance that it doesn't work:

Two eggs failed to survive the thawing process. Three more failed to fertilize. That left six embryos, of which five appeared to be abnormal. The last one was implanted in her uterus. On the morning of March 7, she got the devastating news that it, too, had failed.

Adams was not pregnant, and her chances of carrying her genetic child had just dropped to near zero. She remembers screaming like "a wild animal," throwing books, papers, her laptop – and collapsing to the ground.

"It was one of the worst days of my life. There were so many emotions. I was sad. I was angry. I was ashamed," she said. "I questioned, 'Why me?' 'What did I do wrong?' "

While I don't think you should start having babies the second you turn 20 years old

You are right; better to get started as teenagers.

I think mid-twenties is the sensible compromise; you should be able to be treated as an adult by then and marry and have a couple of kids between then and your thirties. Old enough to have sense, young enough to be able to cope with babies and small children.

The notion of "career first" is pushing a lot of people, men and women, to put off marriage and children further and further down the line, and of course the longer this goes on, the less interest you may have in changing your established life with the disruption of having kids (unless one or both of the spouses hears the ticking of the biological clock and very much wants kids). "We'll start our family when we're thirty. When we're thirty-five. When we're forty..." but then time is not on your side and trying for a baby gets harder and more expensive as you may need medical intervention.

Men, of course, can father children at almost any age (unless they have fertility issues) but while Bill may be able to wait until he's seventy to have a kid, Susie hasn't that luxury.

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