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Culture War Roundup for the week of September 18, 2023

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I think probably the worst thing about the potential Australian law that kicked this convo off is that if implemented (and I sort of doubt it will be) it probably prevents a lot of necessary learning experiences to help you learn what is actual-mutual-flirting-everyone-is-having-a-good-coy-time and what is weird Andrew Tate rapey philosophy. But I don't think it's that hard. Women do obvious things like talk to you, make themselves available to spend time with you, touch you, kiss you, when they're interested. It's not a big mystery.

I've never seen any Tate stuff so I don't know what he says, but my data-less assumption is it's all tricks to get someone who is uninterested in you to fuck you, which is exactly the wrong, time-wasting approach.

Funny enough, Tate's approach is less about PUA and more about just maximizing your perceived value as a male (by doing things that produce value) so you don't have to trick someone. Now, his actions seem to contradict the message, but where else are men even going to hear that message.

I think probably the worst thing about the potential Australian law that kicked this convo off is that if implemented (and I sort of doubt it will be) it probably prevents a lot of necessary learning experiences to help you learn what is actual-mutual-flirting-everyone-is-having-a-good-coy-time and what is weird Andrew Tate rapey philosophy.

Yeah, I do think that young men are stuck between a Scylla and Charybdis when navigating dating culture. On one side if they are completely passive and let women make all the moves and rarely ever pursue they will never learn how to build attraction, play 'the game,' and eventually lock down a woman, and will lose out to the 'assholes.' And this leads them to loneliness, depression, and possibly lashing out.

On the other, if they try to be too brash and aggressive and don't properly gauge the risk involved, they can get slammed for at least being a sex pest, or at worst grooming and/or sexual assault which can carry severe reputational damage even if they avoid criminal consequences.

I will assert that having a male role model to show them the way is the best possible method of getting them into the 'sweet spot' of being assertive and confident but not stepping on the landmines, but that requires there to be such role models.

It's better to be too forward than to be too passive, since atleast being too forward allows you to get feedback which allows for calibration of your approach for the next time.