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Out of curiosity, is the picture in your profile you IRL?
I would call myself someone with modest but certainly above average success with the ladies, I don't know the exact percentile value, but I wouldn't be surprised if the number of partners I've had at this point in time put me in the 90th percentile for Indian men, even if in absolute terms they're an OOM lower. India is a rather sexless country after all, and a great number of perfectly average men (and women) don't get laid till they're packed off to an arranged marriage.
I certainly suffered from severe horniness as a teen, largely fruitlessly, but in my defense very few Indian teens hit third base, let alone get laid.
It took until I was in med school for things to change, something I'd certainly classify under "improvement", since it indisputably increased my status.
And since I've spent the majority of the last 7-8 years in a longterm relationship of some description, I count myself comfortably well off. While I wouldn't sniff at more ONSs, they're so difficult to get unless you're a 99th percentile dude here it's a bad standard to hold one's self too.
As such, while I wouldn't go as far as to call myself a Chad, I'm certainly further on that end of the spectrum than the other. I still have immense sympathy for incels/average dudes, because I had to deal with raging, all consuming libido for years, and still had dry spells afterwards. I look at the latter, and think "there but for for the grace of God go I". The Chads (and women) simply don't understand what torture that is, how corrosive it can be to your self esteem, even if most of your peers are in similar straits.
Agreed, you have only yourself to blame it you don't at least make an effort. I'm sure there are some poor buggers so cursed by genetics that they still can't get anyone to sleep with them, but the advice is sound for the average man who isn't getting laid much if at all.
Much the same, albeit those trysts usually ended up in relationships. I find myself immensely more successful through IRL approaches than the apps, though I have successfully slid into DMs and charmed panties off. This is likely true for most men, since Tinder and the like are all-you-can-eat buffets for women with 10% of the men getting 90% of the attention, and being hypergamous enough to satiate the needs of the majority of women.
I used to be highly envious of my brother, who got all the handsome genes, and I gape at how asexual he is despite the oodles of female attention he receives. It makes me mildly yet irrationally angry, I want to shake him by the neck and act like a 90s suburban mom telling him that he's doing the equivalent of throwing away his food while orphans starve in Africa. But at the end of the day, he's not hungry, so good for him. I wouldn't wish the curse of male libido on my worst enemy, even if I don't want to remove it (or, I would, if there was an simply, temporary pill without real side effects that did so, instead of the only real options being castration of the physical or chemical nature).
I myself, which distinctly average in the facial department (4-5 if I'm not putting effort in, maybe a low 7 if I am, going by a normal distribution of attractiveness instead of the typical right skew), but every day I thank myself for being tall, intelligent and charming with a deep voice. I appreciate and count the chickens that did hatch, because I see a lot of poor bastards pecking in the manure pile to this day.
As far as pills...the efficacy is not great and it's probably bad medical advice to use them for this purpose, but you're a physician. Surely you are aware of the side effects of SSRIs for some people?
What are you referring to? I'm pretty sure I was the one saying that talking SSRIs to reduce libido is a bad idea.
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Yes, that is me, in India actually. Random museum in Dehli, some back room had that portrait.
That pill is a low dose SSRI. I've had some mild depression my whole post pubescent life. Never really treated it until I met my wife and was planning to settle down. I thought I always had a low level of background unhappiness because I wasn't getting the amount of sex I wanted, or sex with the type of woman I wanted. Once I had that covered and still felt depressed I realized it was something more. It took me from like 9/10 libido to a 6/10 libido. Which is still higher than my wife who is probably like a 3 or 4. I don't know if it would have been a good idea to take it in highschool.
I feel the exact same way. By all metrics I am currently successful. But it certainly felt like it took a long ass time to get there and I was pretty miserable that whole time. I think it is quite likely that I was even viewed as one of those "chads" that just effortlessly got women. People mostly stopped saying things like that because I got unexplainably angry at what they thought was a compliment. No! It wasn't effortless, that was a decade of my life I spent getting good at that! And I was miserable the whole time I was learning! (okay that last one is obviously a lie, there were some fun moments of temporary success)
So you were a depressed teenager, had a grueling ten years, and were still depressed after achieving the socially approved goal. Then you got older, took a pill, settled down, and it got better. Isn’t the obvious conclusion that the aggressive pursuit of sex with women (as opposed to jerking off) was a waste of your time/actively harming you?
Yes obviously. But jerking off wasn't an alternative.
And the end result has been nice.
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Achieving the socially approved goal may have been necessary but not sufficient for the above poster to overcome his depression.
If you replace ‘achieving frequent sex with various women’ with ‘climbing mount everest’ in the story, I don’t think that points to climbing mount everest being necessary but not sufficient to overcome his depression.
A prediction (‘My depression is the result of my "sexual failure", therefore fixing the latter will fix the the former’) was made, acted upon at great cost, and was falsified.
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Oh boy. I had and have mild to moderate depression since my late teens myself, and SSRIs not only didn't work for me, they gave me ED while not changing my libido. Hell, that probably made my depression worse!
They're not a drug I would in any way recommend for that purpose, as the side effects are too onerous and the effect is too unreliable.
I'd say I went from 9/10 to 7/10 simply naturally with age, when getting laid went from a wild fantasy to something important yet mundane. Normalizing something and knowing it's mostly on tap does a great deal to help with the hopeless cravings.
delted
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Eh I guess mileage varries.
It was a sudden drop. The more gradual drop from 10 to 9 happened a year before. And now I'd say I'm at like a 5 or 6. So I've seen gradual change.
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