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PaperclipPerfector  1yr ago (text post)   3932 thread views

Small-Scale Question Sunday for June 4, 2023

Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?

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There’s obvious upside to a gf who makes no demand on your gender role (provide, protect, listen) while doubling as a friend. It's like two for the price of zero.

Trigger warning: traditional gender roles

But I enjoy providing, protecting, and listening. That's what men by nature want to do. I think men who don't want to do that have something wrong with them, like women who hate children or want to spend their life in an office cubicle instead of marrying . Those men are either abnormal or immature (I believe "manchildren" is the hip term).

I don't want my girlfriend to be my friend, she's not a dude, she's a romantic partner. She fulfills a different need. I have male friends who fill the other role. A tomboy just seems like subpar gf mixed with a subpar buddy.

No accounting for taste, I suppose. Can’t say the idea of paying for her stuff, killing spiders and listening to her day fills me with lust. I could point to intersexual competition for resources to argue that it’s natural, but that would be an ultimately pointless appeal to nature. So I disagree on two levels with ‘provide is by nature what men want to do, therefore they should’.

You extoll maturity in men while supporting the infantilization of women, as one more kid to protect and provide for. She's not a child, she's a romantic partner. She fulfills a different need. Would you rather have sex with your buddy or your kid?

Would you rather have sex with your buddy or your kid?

An adult woman who doesn't pretend to be a man is a kid?

Your ideal feminine woman has infantile traits, like a tomboy has buddy-like traits. If a man’s preference for buddy-like traits in women makes him abnormal, immature and gay because liking his buddies is those things, what does a preference for childlike traits make the other?

But don’t get hang up on that. People get defensive when you attack their preferences. Personally I don’t care if your wife leads you by a leash or calls you daddy. You’re very mature and normal.

Tomboys pretends to be men?

You're arguing in favor of a broad definition of tomboy, while I'm talking about something rather narrow. From the linked meme in the OP:

  • Thinks makeup is stupid

  • Likes porn

  • Likes video games

  • Rough speech like "I'm gonna kick your ass/suck my dick/fag"

  • Gets mistaken for a boy

  • Puts you in headlocks

Sounds like a boy or young man to me.

The porn and headlock thing sounds like a fantasy more than anyone I met in real life, but the rest seem legit. But I wouldn't say any of these means you're pretending to be a man, other than deliberately trying to be mistaken for one.

The porn and headlock thing sounds like a fantasy more than anyone I met in real life

I think this sort of touches on what I find strange about the meme. It's an imaginary version of a tomboy that is basically a bro. Tomboyish girls (that I have known) aren't like that, they're just girls who are a bit more masculine in a few areas, or even just girls who are confident.

But I wouldn't say any of these means you're pretending to be a man

Yeah, that was too broad a statement. That other poster just got under my skin.

It's an imaginary version of a tomboy that is basically a bro.

Yeah, anyone checking all the boxes they listed is a young guy or a cartoon character (with a high likelihood of anime specifically).

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