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I haven't met a single married couple that I would in any way whatsoever call happy. The closer I get to a married couple, the more I realize they quasi get along and usually hate each other.
I've found zero current exceptions.
Which makes me feel like I don't understand happiness. Or maybe happiness can come with many (many!) caveats attached to it.
Not really about your point, and not really saying you're wrong, I just at this point in my life assume most everyone is a pod person and married people turn into a cocoon of bullshit.
This has been similar to my impression, though in a weaker sense. Like, there's definite friendships, love, and happiness.. but often far more shallow and less happy than I'd expect from two people who decide to be together for decades.
I think part of this is just people not having strong enough shared interests - I'd have issues marrying someone who wasn't in fields that I'm in, because having lots of related topics to talk about is valuable. This might just be me looking for that more than others do?
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Bubbles, man.
When my wife and I were dating, we went through a marriage-prep class with our church, taught by a bunch of couples in their 60s and 70s, who'd been married thirty years or more. None of them ever gave me the impression they hated or even merely tolerated each other.
This year is my fifth anniversary, and my life has drasticly improved in every way possible since getting married. being married to her is the best thing that's ever happened to me.
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Ehh I don’t know. Life with small kids is stressful so my wife and I are often harried. But when the kids aren’t sick or hungry, we are great.
Also, we both have a needling form of humor that is in good sport. So I might tease her about her spending but it’s never actually an issue in our marriage but if you were an outsider you might think “they have huge issues on finances.”
In short, when times are (1) hard, (2) good, or (3) intimate (not necessarily in the sexual sense but when we can slow down and smell the roses) the relationship is amazing because there is such a deep connection, history, and shared purpose. But sometimes the day to day isn’t amazing.
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I am the rare single man who’s social circle is almost entirely married, and they seem generally happy for it, although to varying degrees. In general it seems like marital happiness correlates much more strongly with willingness to put in the work of being in a relationship than with initial partner compatibility.
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Anyone can say anything on the internet, but I am a genuinely very happy married man. My wife and I have been together for over 10 years and have never had an actual argument, never shouted at each other, never had any sort of the friction that seems common with others. I have never felt put upon by her or wished to see less of her. We share many hobbies as well as having non-shared hobbies. Sharing our lives together also provides financial improvement through shared housing, vacations, meals, and other cost-scaling. I can say without exaggeration that every day we're together is better for it.
I can't know everyone's inner life, but my impression is that two of my three closest friends have roughly similar relationships with their wives. The third doesn't seem quite as frictionless, but he has wonderful children and his wife seems like an excellent mother; my impression is that he is very content with his life decisions.
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