Do you have a dumb question that you're kind of embarrassed to ask in the main thread? Is there something you're just not sure about?
This is your opportunity to ask questions. No question too simple or too silly.
Culture war topics are accepted, and proposals for a better intro post are appreciated.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Notes -
Third Option - Most men don't want to do either.
Having a long term, monogamous relationship is hard and takes work.
Living a real-world player lifestyle is possible only with either a) crazy social status and wealth (Movie stars, athletes) or b) a normal guy putting a ton of work (getting into shape, being better than average with fashion and, mostly - running game like crazy and mostly failing).
I'd say most men don't want to do this (save for those who have religious or other personal/social strong bias for family) because the average returns to either are questionable. Divorce in the U.S. is 50/50 and not much better in Western Europe. Player lifestyle - while more attainable than many would think - operates on batters baseball levels of success; 25% (.250 batting average) is OK, 30% is a good season, and anything at or over 40% makes you a hall-of-famer.
There are far higher expected returns to putting in extra work into a career. Once you get out of minimum wage service industry level work (no offense to those who are still in it), top 20% performance is mostly an equation of hours worked and a little social / political awareness (either to move up in a large company, artfully job hop every 2 - 3 years, or to network effectively for external business in a small company). Top 10% is being able to make the jump to management. Top 1% is getting groovy with risk taking and truly understanding your market (and, yes, a spot of luck).
Which leads me to what I think is an interesting twist to the original question. Which would Men opt for; perfect wifey with no possibility of divorce / hen-pecking / dead bedroom, or 100% guaranteed discreet access to world class prostitutes. Again, caveats about personal morality / religiosity apply.
I did this for several years and found the juice wasn't worth the squeeze. Juggling multiple cute girls is a lot of work and at least personally I found it better to spend my efforts on a single quality girl. Then I could spend my free time on hobbies rather than going out for drinks on a weeknight.
I know one of the more popular Pick Up Artist gurus talks about a theme he noticed during the heyday of that community. He divided PUAs into two camps, Thrill of the Hunt guys and Pleasure of Sex guys. Some guys are really into variety, while others are happy with a stable rotation of girls they can have better sex with compared to one night stands.
Yeah, presuming that men would have sex with as many women as possible if possible seems to come from a place of inexperience. I enjoy flirting and am good at it, but texting back and forth with five women at once literally takes all your time. It will consume your entire evening, and you won't have as nearly an in-depth conversation as you could have had one on one. I suspect that only the most dedicated womanizer could keep that pace up long-term.
More options
Context Copy link
Agree with all. IMHO - "single quality girl" is just harder to find because the median has fallen so drastically and the acceptance of personal hill-climbing (in the optimization sense) has picked up. It's hard to overstate the second order effects of online dating - even women who will readily admit to being all around satisfied in a relationship (monogamous or otherwise, serious and committed or otherwise) are aware of the literal hundreds of daily new options. That kind of pull is impossible to resist - man or woman. Imagine if your inbox had 100 new job offers (not marketing blast emails, I mean sign here for money job offers).
Again, I want to explicitly state I'm not trying to say "womenz bad." I see this as a pretty basic rational economic / incentive seeking behavior. To quote the poet Slim Charles "Game the same - just more fierce is all."
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link
More options
Context Copy link