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naraburns  nihil supernum  1yr ago (text post)   35038 thread views

Culture War Roundup for the week of March 6, 2023

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Unfortunately this is where I run out of ideas. It's not a position I've found myself in and there doesn't seem to be a great way to be clear about how you want the relationship to change that doesn't involve some risk of destroying the relationship as it already is, beyond what some other commenters have noted.

Does a person in this position who takes a chance on love deserve to be cast out for lechery?

He didn't "take a chance on love"; that would be if he simply asked her if she wanted to get coffee or drinks or dinner or any of the other normal things men do when they ask women out. He pretty much directly proposed that they enter an unorthodox relationship whereby he gets sex with out any of the attendant obligations. Starting a relationship out like this with someone you know a little but not well is like saying "I like you as a friend and think you have a nice body so I'd be willing to sleep with you, provided that you understand I don't really like you enough to take the relationship further and see no future there". FWB isn't something anyone really aspires to have; it's something that you end up with when there aren't any better options.

Kinda? Maybe? I don't know. Too much depends on context.

But like @Gillitrut I kind of feel like a lot of these problems can be effectively bypassed by being honest about one's feelings/intentions from the get go. To be clear; I'm not saying "ask for sex directly the moment you meet her" I'm saying that if you are trying to get closer to a woman because you find her attractive do not try to pass this off as anything else. That would be dishonest, and dishonesty deserves to be punished.

Probably not? The issue is distinguishing, from the outside, individuals who are "tak[ing] a chance on love" and individuals with more nefarious motivations.

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