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This appears to be a common trope that has been endlessly repeated in mainstream discourse for decades without basis. Do many people actually believe that young men in droves are opting to binge online porn and video games instead of seeking long-term relationships with women because they’re just lazy and entitled, somehow brainwashed by bad actors into believing that such relationships are only for losers?
Clearly far too few people here have read The Last Psychiatrist. And he was no fan of porn users.
I think TLP's model of addiction/escapism is correct. Men are heavy users of vidya and porn because they are failing otherwise, not failing because they are heavy users. Yes, there is a feedback loop at play here, But any guy in his right mind will ditch the vidya and porn the moment he sees a glimmer of hope. When all else fails, is when they get into the vidya and porn because what the fuck else are you going to do? booze? fentanyl?
You need to ease your mind somehow. God I hate the level of vilification video games get by serial twitter scroller and netflix watchers. Totally not the same waste of time, you are totally better than the filthy gamers.
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I am not sure about "droves." There is (or, was) a strain of thought in red pill/manosphere type places that long term relationships with women are a suckers game because she'll just divorce you and take all your stuff and so its better to have a series of casual relationships than settle down and be taken advantage of. At the extreme end this culminated in Men Going Their Own Way who would definitely agree that video games and porn are better than interacting with women.
I am not sure about the prevalence of these beliefs but they're definitely out there.
They are out there because it is a very real problem. Women consistently fail to date men in their same attractiveness percentile, and also much more often terminate relationships.
I am not sure how to interpret this part. Is it a bad thing for women to date men in a different "attractiveness percentile?" Why?
It is bad for them and society. Imagine a high school with 10 girls and 10 boys, they graduate, and pair off. Ideally, they'd find someone about as attractive and successful as them or some combination and you'd have 10 couples. What actually happens is that all 10 girls end up rejecting all but the top boy for dates. The one guy then bangs the 10 girls for a while until he ends up settling down with the #1 or #2 girl, and now there are 9 women who have spent ages 16-30 in meaningless relationships with a guy they never really had a chance with. Meanwhile, guys 2-10 have not gotten any dates at all, and now are 30 and depressed and the unlucky girls go running in search of the next version of #1 guy until they are 35 and settle for mr #5. Then they divorce him ten years later because they still, deep down, think they have a chance with Mr #1. Meanwhile guys 6-10 never get a date at all for the rest of time.
I am skeptical there is empirical data to support the idea that this is an accurate description of reality.
That aside I'm not sure I see what the problem is. If the ten women would rather spend time dating one guy than dating different guys that seems fine? It's their lives. This description makes it sound like all the women who aren't eventually going to end up with the man they are dating are wronging the other men by not dating them but I don't think that's true.
This is based on dating app data and divorce filings.
I suppose you could look at it like that, but its a cause of low fertility, and basically every woman who ends up in this situation regrets it. There is substantial polling data that women want more children (in the US) than they end up having, and a large cause of this is early-20s hypergamy loops that result in them not marrying until far too late.
Its bad for them and the men, and they are the ones in control of the situation. That is an accurate description of the situation. "Wronging" is not the word I'd use, but it is bad.
Can you link me the data? The data I'm aware of for divorces shows upwards of 70% are by mutual consent. And similarly over 70% of men aged 18-30 reported having sex in the last year. That is mathematically impossible with the top 10% of men monopolizing women.
Citation?
Citation that the "hypergamy loops" are a cause of marrying too late?
Here's some of the dating app data.
https://gwern.net/doc/psychology/okcupid/index
https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/women-say-80-of-men-are-below-average/
Here's the divorce filing data
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202203/why-women-are-much-more-likely-men-initiate-divorce
Women aren't having as many children as they want
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/13/upshot/american-fertility-is-falling-short-of-what-women-want.html
That is just an obvious inference given the data we have.
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No I think they're doing it for the same reason all sorts of socialization is falling. Dating, going to church, joining a bowling league, requires upfront investment for uncertain return in the future. Church is super boring, most dates end in rejection, the other guys at the bowling league aren't actually that interesting. Opening up your phone to scroll social media, jack off, argue with the exact sort of online weirdo you like arguing with gives consistent instantaneous positive reward for minimal expenditure of time, money effort.
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