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These two things are at odds. If you believe teenagers should be thoroughly desexualized (and if you even use the term "underage" that way, you likely do), you're going to think the "right age" is 25-30 for both parties. By that point you have enough sour grapes from the men and enough "thottery" from the women that your "active co-ordination" isn't going to be better than the Tinder status quo. One of the things you want from a marriage is the concept and expectation that you'll grow together, and that's much more likely at 20 than 30.
Indeed, money makes all the difference. The Japanese might have the right idea with the company dating services, and since you only see your spouse for a couple of hours one day a week the dynamics of a marriage aren't exactly going to be that deep.
It's the same thing you just described, but up one level: if you don't understand how men and women actually work (perhaps because you think man bad woman good, which is the traditionalist-progressive compact, or because you're just not self-aware enough or too tired/don't have time to deal with it, which is the issue with the liberals), then you're not going to be able to fix issues built upon faulty understanding, you're just going to make them worse.
I think I haven’t communicated my perspective well. I think that a good marriage time is say 21-25.
Two months is admittedly brief but part of the point of having a supportive infrastructure is that people shouldn’t need or expect to be fucking around in their teenage years. So the resentment/thottery dynamic shouldn’t take off so much. And yes, I think that we should discourage media that tries to display fucking around and experimenting as being a natural part of growing up, since it isn’t and never has been.
Part of the reason I prefer doing it this way is admittedly selfish - I fell into the situation described and would like society to uphold its end of the bargain. But the other half is that I don’t believe the ‘promiscuity then marriage’ dynamic works for more than 30-40% of the population at most. Maybe another 30% get married but are already kind of bitter and difficult by that point, and the rest stay in perpetual bachelordom of either too much sex or too little.
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