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Wellness Wednesday for March 12, 2025

The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:

  • Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.

  • Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.

  • Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.

  • Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).

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You know it's inevitable, but it still sucks to be reminded that your parents are only human, and aging people at that.

I just found out my dad had to be hospitalized last night because of atrial fibrillation. My family had kept me in the dark, mostly because it was the wee-hours of the morning in Scotland when he'd had to go the ER, and I presume they didn't want me to fret while at work. I understand, but I'm still angry. I feel like I have a right to know, even if there's nothing much I can do.

Dad's fine. They rate-controlled him with beta blockers, and when that wasn't enough, amiodarone. He's probably going home tomorrow.

Still, there was a brief period between when my mom and brother called me to give me the news and when he picked up the phone on his end. I couldn't help but shiver with fear that something had happened, and that he couldn't take the call. It turned out he was taking a shit.

I was half a mind to demand that they loop me in next time they talk to a cardiologist, but I know that won't really help, and since he's in the same hospital I used to work at (I need to ask and see if it's same ward), I know he's being seen by competent doctors with world-class facilities at hand. I still can't help poring over UK guidelines and wondering about the rationale behind their divergence from protocol.

Despite being a doctor himself, he hasn't been the best about getting regular checkups. That'll have to change, now that he's got both AF and a very obscure cardiac issue that I'd never heard of, which was thought to be only found in the Japanese until quite recently (Apical cardiac myopathy).

I tell myself he'll be fine, that he knows when to seek help. I'll buy him an Apple Watch solely for the automatic ECG tracking.

Sigh. I've been taking my parents for granted, and this was a reminder that they can't. I should get cracking on giving them grandkids they can hold and carry without throwing their backs.

Personally, I'm shocked that your dad is only human. I doubt it even!

Jokes aside, be well and best to you and yours.

It's tough. I got lucky with my dad in that his first heart attack was so early I didn't take it too seriously and over time it's just kind of like, ok yeah he could drop any moment.

I'm less ready for my mom showing signs of decline.

My condolences. I hope she stays healthy long enough for medical science to make a significant difference or even prevent deterioration. Heart attacks are a case where people forget that it wasn't all that long ago when there was nothing to do but load patients up with painkillers and hope they pulled through.

I know it's sobering, but try to look on the bright side: some people don't have the realization you had until it's too late, and their loved ones are gone. Whereas you realized in time to carpe that diem, and enjoy the time with them while you have it.

I do intend to spend as much time as I can with them, but being on separate continents makes that an uphill struggle. I try to visit as often as I can.