Be advised: this thread is not for serious in-depth discussion of weighty topics (we have a link for that), this thread is not for anything Culture War related. This thread is for Fun. You got jokes? Share 'em. You got silly questions? Ask 'em.
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When did you first realize your parents had grown old? It's such a gradual thing that it really sneaks up on you.
For me it was when my mom meekly endured some bureaucratic altercation. She had always had a steel backbone and no reverse gear, somewhat like Thatcher, so watching her cave in like that was quite a shock to me. I realized that I no longer had a barrier troop that would not allow me to retreat in the face of adversity, all my courage now had to come from within. On the contrary, it was I who would have to look out for them from now on.
When my they started to let stuff go instead of putting their foot down.
When they lost track of politics and kept repeating and arguing against 10+ year old talking points.
When they quit competing with me physically (running, lifting).
And gray hairs, of course.
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My father passed when I was eight, and my mom gave birth to me when she was 42. I sort of always felt like my parents were old.
Part of the reason I think we should encourage people to have kids young.
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When I overheard another pair of doctors telling each other "SMH's dad is a good surgeon, but he just can't keep up the speed he used to. You should have seen the way he operated 15 years ago." Or when I saw him reduce his working hours/caseload from 'insane' to 'more than I would personally care for' as he just couldn't physically stand around for >12 hours a day.
Human fluid intelligence declines from 25 onwards, but your accumulated skills and knowledge compensate till your 40s. After that, your body and brain will give out eventually. Thankfully my parents have their wits about them, and being doctors, are capable of attending to their own health.
Yah, I remember stuff I used to do for fun in my early 20's. Like folding an origami icosahedron from first principles during my lunch break. It's probably easier to repeat this than I think, but I wouldn't do stuff like this for fun today.
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My old man's meniscus finally wore out in his early 80s, and suddenly he wasn't running down to his garden any more. That's the one thing that really drove it home that he was only going to get weaker every year, because now there were hard limits on what he could do. No more long walks, trips he had planned, or big projects we were going to do together.
He's turning 90 this year, and now that his heart is slowly starting to go he's having a harder time splitting his firewood and hoeing the smaller replacement garden patch on his front lawn. He gets overwhelmed doing his taxes now, so I took that over a few years ago.
I hope I'm splitting firewood when I'm 90. Based dad.
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That's a tough one. My dad was always kind of a couch potato, and basically the only thing he ever really did was golf. If he wasn't golfing, he was on the couch drinking a Coors Light. In terms of activity level, he always seemed old. He had these gnarly scars across his belly from a car wreck he'd gotten in when he was younger, and he'd already has his gall bladder out from the accident before I was even born. He kept a roll of tums in every room of the house, the cars, and his golf bag. And generally he was always too tired to play with us from commuting 90+ minutes each way to work, starting at 5 am.
All that said, one year when I came home from college he seemed even more tired than usual, and rapidly graying. When I went back to college after that break, I had these incredibly vivid dreams about him dying.
Turns out he was in rapidly advancing liver failure. Inside two years he was dead. He was 56.
My wife is struggling with her parents getting older. They are both getting much further up there, into their late 60's and mid 70's. They've both had cancer, her dad has one kidney, and they are both experiencing cognitive decline, her mom a lot more than her dad, but still both. We try to have them play with their grandkids as much as possible, and my daughter loves her grandma. My wife's father suffers from a bit too much TDS for things to be comfortable when he comes over. Always tries to rub my face in something political, or diverts every conversation into how evil the Republicans are. The TDS has more or less completely coincided with his cognitive decline, and the more TDS he gets, the more he forgets simple things like what his grand daughter is allergic to, conversations he's had with my wife, etc.
That's not even TDS at that point, it's just plain rudeness. I'm sorry to hear your FIL acts like that, I can imagine it's tough.
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For my mom, it was probably the last time I was there when my parents were hosting an event. My mom isn't that old (she's 64), but she has had congestive heart failure for the last 7 years, and it has sapped her energy. When playing hostess she used to be a tireless force of nature who made sure everyone got more than enough to eat (I'm sure you guys know the type). Now, she gets winded after doing only part of the cooking for the guests, and pretty much crashed and I had to step up to fill the gap. Which I don't mind doing, but it's sad to see Mom that way. She still has the same personality, but her body just can't keep up any more.
For my dad, I guess it was when I realized he turns 70 soon (2027). That to me is kind of crossing the Rubicon of old age. Dad will stop doing things when they throw the dirt on him (and maybe not even then), but I can't deny any more that he's getting old and that I'm going to lose him sooner rather than later.
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