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I think this is an unfair reading of Obsidian. The example they bring up is basically the central point pro-euthanasia people are advocating for. Any person who is opposed to offering advice or opinions here, essentially doesn't have a position worth listening to at all on this matter.
I could at least respect someone saying something like, "Look, this is obviously a tough thing for any family to go through, but I've already included that in my moral reasoning. I believe that humans are made in God's image, that human life should be treated with dignity and respect, and that every effort should be made to keep her alive." I don't agree with it, but I can respect it. If instead, when faced with a real world example, one were to fold and say, "I don't give advice over the internet, and I don't answer gotcha questions" - it seems like that person is not really prepared to engage with the realities of this problem as they exist on the ground, and that their castles in the sky might as well blow away in the wind.
A widespread conversational norm when talking directly to people is to not say negative things about them personally or their circumstances, even if you believe those things.
Getting into a political debate where in order for someone to justify himself, he'd have to say such things, is exploiting the norm to win a debate. Even if you're not intentionally doing it, that's the effect it's going to have.
Yes, it's true that the norm is not so strict that nobody will violate it, but that doesn't make this right. Yes, he could say "this is a tough thing for you, but my religion still prohibits..." He could also just go silent, being unwilling to speak what he believes because he doesn't want to upset someone who has bad family circumstances. If he did that, his silence could be interpreted as "See! He has no answer for that!" And in this sort of debate, it's often interpreted exactly that way.
I agree with you there should be a soft-norm against putting someone on the hot-seat with a personal anecdote. Besides the risk of being rude, you run the risk of the OP whipping out additional details as necessary to make you look like a fool.
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