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I have come to the conclusion that the term as currently used is indescribably useless. Where once you had a number of conditions (autism, aspergers, PDD-NOS), there is now the one condition that covers an absolutely massive array of people with all sorts of different personalities, capabilities and needs. Yes, we now have levels in their place but they almost never enter discussion. Instead, the only differentiation comes between "high support needs" and "low support needs". In conversation however, this is almost always dropped - everytime someone mentions an autistic person, or autistic people, or themselves, one is usually referring to either of these groups, implicitly disregarding the other.
My view is that is we have a number of neurological differences that are grouped together under a single diagnosis, like a super venn diagram with multiple concentric circles, and a person can potentially appear in multiple places in the diagram. This means that it is possible for two people to technically be diagnosed with autism and have a minimal overlap of symptoms, or indeed any traits in common. This poses a number of problems. Firstly, normies expect the term to describe a specific kind of person and get confused/accuse you of lying when you say that you have that condition. Secondly, what paltry assistance you might receive is not tailored to your traits and so is useless. Thirdly, any spaces that might exist for you on paper in practise contain people who have nothing in common with you whatsoever.
Beyond that however, I think we have also expanded the definition to include borderlines (people who might have had one or two traits to a minimal degree that wouldn't have previously qualified) and the disability is being further co-opted by progressive, terminally online neurotypicals to ascend the progressive stack. In addition, we have massively damaged the development of children through lockdowns, so who knows if their brain is actually wired that way.
Personally, I do not know where my own endlessly entertaining brain disease comes from. I am inclined to think that I am one of those people who has it inflicted on them by GOD, THE VIOLATOR as a joke. The only familial link I have is a great uncle who was diagnosed with a number of learning disabilities in his youth (including dyxlexia) but towards the end of his life at some point received a diagnosis of autism. My mum and dad are both normal, my dad excessively so. My brother is "weird" but for the most part neurotypical, and any weirdness I think he accrued from me while growing up.
I dislike the way we treat mental disorders as if they work like bacteria or viruses. We even call them "mental illnesses." Strep throat presents in similar ways every time it appears because it's caused by a particular group of bacteria with particular traits. Autism isn't a species of microorganism, it's a cluster of behaviours observed in some humans. We can observe that many different people exhibit some or all of these behaviours without acting like they're all infected with a particular disease.
To continue the analogy: autism isn't the common cold, it's the act of coughing.
The word "disease" developed its meaning long before we'd figured out which ones were caused by infectious organisms. Congenital defects like osteogenesis imperfecta ("brittle bone disease") or deficiency syndromes like scurvy are central members of the term. Complaining that there is no microorganism that causes leukemia isn't going to stop people putting it in that group.
More to the point, comparing one single symptom to, as you already noted, a cluster of commonly co-occuring behaviors is a bad analogy. Coughing is one thing, but are you coughing alongside a runny nose, a sore throat, and a headache? (Probably just a cold.) Or are you coughing along with bloody sputum, chest pain, and weight loss? (Very concerning, might be lung cancer.) Similarly, a number of people exhibit a stereotypy - a repetitive movement or utterance - of some sort or another. But is it happening in a young child along with disinterest in social activities, extreme distress about particular sensory experiences, and an inflexible of routine? (Classic autism.) Or is it an older person, who has recently started losing control of their emotions and seems to have some trouble with speech? (Worrying signs of fronto-temporal dementia.)
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