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Notes -
We buried my 98 yo grandfather last year and while people were sad, and some cried, it was also a beautiful ceremony and to some extent a celebration/memorialisation of a life well lived. Sure, it's nothing like a golden anniversary but to me it felt meaningful, not tragic.
This is why I'm a fan of splitting the ceremony into two pieces: the funeral where everyone gets to be sad, followed by the wake where everyone gets to get shitfaced and celebrate the person's memory in a big party. It's important to build time/space to do both.
That's exactly how we do funerals where I'm from. You have the funeral Mass where we all are sad and say goodbye to our loved one, then afterwards you go to the church fellowship hall and the church ladies have cooked lunch for everyone. Then you enjoy each other's company and celebrate the life of the person you said goodbye to.
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