The Wednesday Wellness threads are meant to encourage users to ask for and provide advice and motivation to improve their lives. It isn't intended as a 'containment thread' and any content which could go here could instead be posted in its own thread. You could post:
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Requests for advice and / or encouragement. On basically any topic and for any scale of problem.
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Updates to let us know how you are doing. This provides valuable feedback on past advice / encouragement and will hopefully make people feel a little more motivated to follow through. If you want to be reminded to post your update, see the post titled 'update reminders', below.
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Advice. This can be in response to a request for advice or just something that you think could be generally useful for many people here.
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Encouragement. Probably best directed at specific users, but if you feel like just encouraging people in general I don't think anyone is going to object. I don't think I really need to say this, but just to be clear; encouragement should have a generally positive tone and not shame people (if people feel that shame might be an effective tool for motivating people, please discuss this so we can form a group consensus on how to use it rather than just trying it).
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Notes -
You are right I don't need one, but the lifetime earnings premium you get from a college degree is still very high despite the recent "college is a waste of money" trend. The lifetime earnings premium from a degree is still there even if you include super expensive for profit private colleges and stereotypical no money humanities degrees. If you exclude those, the numbers favor a degree even more.
A college degree is a great investment, but if you’re the person you describe yourself as it may not pay off for you.
To be precise, a degree is a good investment because it signals the discipline you don't have (alongside a mid-tier or better IQ), allowing you to get certain types of entry-level jobs which require it.
If you have the discipline problem you say you do, then getting a generic degree will cost you more than most (that is necessary for the signal to be credible) and benefit you less (because you will suck at graduate jobs and be miserable until you are fired).
If you are doing a typical blue-collar job (solo trades jobs are different obviously), you are checking in with the boss multiple times a day. If you are doing a graduate professional job, you are checking in with the boss 2-3 times a week. (Scrum requires a daily check-in, but is only acceptable to programmers who see themselves as white-collar professionals because the daily Scrum call is explicitly not run by a manager. When the daily Scrum call is used as a tool for beating up slow developers, the Scrum team stops producing code and starts producing resumes). You can be productive with much less discipline if you are working closely with your boss.
If you are able to hack physically tough blue-collar jobs like construction, then your personal graduate wage premium is much smaller than it is for the average college attendee, who is a woman.
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Only for certain, difficult degrees.
As others have noted - the premium is worthless if you don't finish. And you're already in the hole from previous failures and delaying the start of recognizing that premium. Even if your family or loans paid for it. Just do the algebra on it.
I say this not to flagellate you but to reinforce: A degree is not a panacea, and just straight up isn't necessary for independence almost anywhere.
Is it nice? Sure, as an owner of one, I'd say so. Would I be fine and happy without one (but with a work ethic)? Absolutely.
You can always go back and get one after you're independent. I can't imagine how great college would have been if I knew how to fuckin' do it better.
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It doesn't matter how big the earnings premium is if you're not gonna do it.
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Were you working on a useful degree?
There are super successful individuals that help pull up the median. If you land in the bottom quintile of the distribution the value is less certain.
Have you considered a trade? You'd be developing the relationships and interdependence that may help you with motivation to improve your attendance.
Did you take the ASVAB? Have you talked to a recruiter, perhaps the military would provide the structure you need.
The military seems promising, but apparently it is huge pain to join with an ADHD diagnosis from what I just googled. (I saw "medical evaluation" as part of the recruitment process after googling what the ASVAB was and then wondered how ADHD would apply). That would've been nice to know prior to going to a psychiatrist.
I have considered trades as well, but I'm unsure if the physical health problems are worth it. I suppose that just might be the best option left out of a bad group.
Ok, tradesman here- you can succeed in a trade if you can’t sit still enough or care about boring useless arbitrary crap enough to do well in school. You cannot succeed in a trade if you lack the good discipline and willingness to work to do well in school(you’re on the motte so I’m assuming you’re smart enough).
I leave up to you to determine which category you’re in. By all means, try to get an electrical apprenticeship if you think you’re just ADHD(but do be aware you’re probably A) gonna get drug tested and B) going to have to take a math class, regardless of whether you already know it, to move up). But if you have issues with discipline, call an army recruiter if you can’t fix them.
Tradesmen with severe physical health problems tend to be alcoholics who smoke heavily and eat fast food multiple times a day while not sleeping very much. As a rule, if you don’t have preexisting physical health problems and make it through your first year or two(almost all tradesmen have to start on a construction site) then just take care of your body and the work won’t be too tough on it.
Just to supplement this. My dad has worked in a quite physical trade for 40 years now. (He's a glazier.) He has no particular ailments associated with it - he's a good weight, hale and healthy, still very physically capable. He's never been a overeater or a drinker, and I think getting lots of exercise each day has kept his level high. I'll be lucky to be as healthy as he is when I'm in my 60s.
The one problem he has is that he's had multiple melanomas removed, because he did not wear sunscreen at any point in all that time lol. He knows better, he doesn't deny it, but he still doesn't put it on.
Yeah, that’s what hats and detachable sleeves are for. Who needs sunscreen?
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You could go talk to a recruiter about your diagnosis and see what they say. You need to do more things in general and talking to a recruiter is an easy goal to set and accomplish.
Trades can damage your health but it's not a given. Sitting in an office all day does it's own sort of damage.
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